Men are only really nice up until about 25

[Whichusernametocreate]

I remember my friend saying this to me when we were in our late twenties, years ago.
I’m now mid 40’s and kind of see what she meant
Is there something wrong with me in that I don’t seem to be seeing men in the same way anymore? I used to love men’s company, even though I’m a girls girl/woman’s woman, whatever you call it, I often found men better company in some ways..but now, I can’t help wondering what most of them are probably like deep down..the porn they probably watch or the way they may secretly view women etc
Is this a mid 40’s thing?

Nope, I think men make better company as they get older.
Thinking about it, I prefer the company of men generally

I share a bank of hot desks at work with a bunch of mid/late 30s men and they are all good company...they are all dads and the main topics of conversation (apart from work stuff) tend to be nice dinners they've made or light hearted moaning about toddler antics/illness.

Why would me be nicer AFTER 25? What's so nice about teenage boys and young immature men compared to adults?

Or men are only nice to women who are 25 or younger???

I think as some women get older, and pass the must have a man phase, they become more discerning and notice things they overlooked before. There is also a huge difference between how many male friends, colleagues, relatives etc treat others, and how they treat their partners, behind closed doors.

Ridiculous thread.

I don't think men change at a certain age. But I do think as we (women) get older our lived experiences make us more discerning (or cynical!) and we lose the rose-tinted spectacles of our youth. I know in my late teens and early 20s I idealised men and romanticised the idea of meeting my Mr Right who would, of course, make everything in my life wonderful! I mean that's the story we're sold isn't it? I over-looked dozens of red flags and spent way too much of my 20s obsessing over men who were not deserving of my time.

Marriage, kids, divorce, a few post-divorce relationships - plus too much time on the FWR and relationships boards here 😁 - and it's fair to say my outlook on men and relationships has changed somewhat!

I think it's more that cool free spirit fun guys stop seeming that way when you want to settle down with one

My view is that men that find women attractive are charming, kind and interesting - there is clearly a purpose and motivation.

Once a woman’s fertility/ beauty wanes a man is less likely to make any effort.

I have seen this happen decade after decade to the people/women around me.

The testosterone level drop around age seventy is well documented, leading to men being more bad tempered, the grumpy old man syndrome.

Testosterone production declines sharply from about early fifties. But why would that make someone grumpy?

Old people are often less positive, life affirming and open to new experience than younger people, but I can't say I've particularly noticed the big difference between the sexes being suggested here. There are plenty of bitter and resentful older women around.

It is true that women often tend to keep their social networks alive better, and that probably mitigates against the sense of turning inwards.

I have many male friends in my life who are great company - and women I’d cross the street to avoid. And vice versa.

Weird generalisation OP 🙄.

This. Bizarre post.

What a beautiful girl, looks like a canine supermodel.

I've had too many inappropriate advances/comments from men who should know better, are married, who have a charming public persona but are horridly different one to one that I am far more wary of men now.

Yes women can be nasty, but I've never had a woman make sexual advances towards me. So why would I be wary of them in the same way?

But.... I think I know a few nice guys who I've met them through my DSs' sports. They're the coaches, supportive dads, sportsmen. I still keep them at arms length though, whether they're coupled up or single. Single ones because even though I'm single I'm not interested in dating, and coupled up because I don't want anyone to think I'm trying to start something with one of them.

I don't have to worry about all that when I interact with the women.

Misses point of post but what a gorgeous dog. Even if she is moody

Tbh, I think some men mellow and become nicer as they age, FIL is lovely the older he gets. Life seems to evolve around the grandkids, when DH was young je wasn't interested in his family, but now he's a grandad those kids are his pride and joy, he's never been a bad man, just not especially interested in MIL or DH when DH was young.

On the contrary, I'd agree. My DH was lovely when we met, at 25, now, nearing 40, he's a grumpy old git. He comments on what people's priorities are, and peoples choices and actions far more than he should. Genuinely seems pissed off at the world, and not especially nice to anyone outside of our home.

Don't we all get a little more grumpy with age? Many toxic behaviours from men, but perhaps saying that they are only nice until 25 is a bit unfair.

However, the middle aged man is v stingy on charity. When I collect with a tin, nearly every other class of person is more generous and happy to give. Don't know what this means but a charity tin makes a many middle aged men have a face like a lemon. Anecdata, obviously

I'm just imagining a post elsewhere, by a man who says "women are only really nice until they're 25"

I find older men more interesting and pleasant company for platonic friendships.

And by older, I do just mean older than 25 in this context. Old enough to be fairly mature, or at least as mature as I am, which isn't very...

Of course it’s true. People are the worst.

I recently had the delightful experience of watching hours of footage of men aged between early twenties and late middle age at an event. Some of them were wearing mics, most didn’t know they were being picked up, so their guards were down and they’d had a couple of drinks, though weren’t drunk by any means.

The way they talked about the women they knew was appalling. And they did talk about them. A lot. And some of them had had sexual encounters with the women they were discussing. It was not respectful or discreet. These were all men you’d readily describe as “nice”.

anyone who thinks men aren’t bitchy needs to get a clue. They’re just not bitchy around women.

Overall YABU. One of my best friends is a man I've known for 2 decades, an excellent person and more emotional intelligence than a lot of women I know. I also have several decent male friends and colleagues.

That said myself and other relatives have noticed a real change in both my dad and uncle in recent years that can't be out down to health. They are both slightly less pleasant people to be around imo and have changed a lot. I miss my dad from the young 30s a lot.

Men say things like this about women all the time.

I don’t think men change personalities

but what may be happening is that men tend to find relatively young women still attractive even as they age

fine with a 25 year old - creepy with a 45 year old

I would've said it was probably the other way around. Men up until 25 and possibly much later vile. After about 32, great fun to be with.

I have a 5 year old girl who is best friend with a boy, she is one of the lads. I would love this friendship to continue but life will make the girls be friends with girls and boys with boys. Even get past that other partners will hate the male /female friendship.

Well my friend and I have known each other since children and early 30s now, been through several relationships with people who accept the friendship. It can happen 🙂