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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to stop neighbours from using the steps at the side of my house as shortcut?

346 replies

thelongroad · 05/02/2023 16:45

I genuinely can't decide whether saying something would be unreasonable or not.
Our house (blue) is next to the corner house (red). There is a new build next to us, consisting of 2 semis. The one right next to us is still empty, but just before Xmas a family moved into the other one (pink).

All the houses along our road have the front entrance along the front road, but can also be accessed from the back road (we have no garden, only parking spots for the cars). Neither the front nor the back are fenced off. Front road is a dead end, so nobody going past. Back road has occasional cars and kids walking to local school but otherwise nothing (rural village).

We own the bit between us and corner house (their land is fenced off all round). It's sloping downwards towards the back, and we've paved it and put in steps (grey lines) so we can walk from front to back of house. I've also got plants growing there and we have our firewood stack on the side.

Very occasionally kids who are playing on either road use our steps as a shortcut to the other road. This is ok. We've also had workmen ask to use it when they've been working on one road and needed to get to the other. Also fine.

However, since the new neighbours moved in, they have been using it ALL THE TIME for getting from the front to the back. They have a garage at the front of the house but park their 2nd car at the back. Clearly they have no way of getting into their house at the back (we put in a back door specifically for this purpose) so they using our steps to cut through instead of walking all the way around the corner house.

Now, the thing is that the steps go past our living/dining room, and I actually see them zipping past every time. If they look in they can see us too.

It's (irrationally?) annoying the fuck out of me that they seem to think they can just come onto my property because it's more convenient for them.
I've even blocked the bit a the front with a row of plant pots to make it slightly more obvious that it's not a public way, but they're still using it.

I can't decide if I'm being deeply unneighbourly and unreasonable in wanting them to stop using our steps. I know I can ask them to stop and they will have to (from a legal point of view) but should I? Why does this bother me so much??

Apologies that this is so long. I offer a diagram as compensation of you made it through!

AIBU to stop neighbours from using the steps at the side of my house as shortcut?

OP posts:

VillanellesCoat · 05/02/2023 16:48

Can you put gates up?

ZeilanBlueSky · 05/02/2023 16:49

I wonder if you can add gates? And this is the first time I've managed to be this early on a thread!

DDivaStar · 05/02/2023 16:49

Yanbu but if they've seen others use it they probably don't realise its a problem.

rothbury · 05/02/2023 16:50

You just need to put gates in.

OntarioBagnet · 05/02/2023 16:50

I would definitely tell them to stop. They’re walking through your garden!

SeaToSki · 05/02/2023 16:51

Not unreasonable at all. Its your property, you are paying tax on it and you shouldnt have to share it with anyone who takes a fancy to walk across it. Besides which if they trip and fall you might have a liability issue on your hands. I would ask them to walk around, or suggest they put a back door in like you did.

ThreeLittleDots · 05/02/2023 16:51

You need to put a gate up marked private property, or just make sure everyone turns around and knows it's not a right of way, kids included

TakingTime2 · 05/02/2023 16:51

YANBU and I agree something more permanent like gates may be the way to go. I'd want to knock this on the head asap as the longer it goes on the more people will think it's ok.

ThreeLittleDots · 05/02/2023 16:52

And you shouldn't have to.. you'd hope they had a braincell between them, especially after you blocked it off. But that's obviously not working.

stealthninjamum · 05/02/2023 16:52

That would be annoying and if they did if for many years I think might create problems when you come to sell. It’s fairly easy to put a gate there with a lock or padlock.

SarahAndQuack · 05/02/2023 16:53

It's not irrational at all. Next time you see them, big smile 'Hey, we're starting to feel as if we're living in a goldfish bowl! It's lovely to see you but please stop coming through our garden - everyone's starting to do it so we're just letting people know not to'.

Casilero · 05/02/2023 16:53

No, YANBU, that's really annoying. The end house had the right idea by fencing off the whole boundary. I'd definitely put a gate in before the other house is occupied and you've got another set of cheeky fuckers also tramping past your window. I wonder if they think it's a public right of way?

fancyacuppatea · 05/02/2023 16:53

Locked gate at the front and the back.
Key operated, just add one to each of your keyrings and keep a spare somewhere handy.

Reindear · 05/02/2023 16:53

I like how clear your diagram is op. I also think a gate might be the best way. You shouldn’t have to but then you also wouldn’t get kids using it as a pavement too

44PumpLane · 05/02/2023 16:54

This would irritate me too OP. You can either talk to them, explain it's actually your land and can they please go round, or simply put a gate up.

Putting a gate up is an expense to you, so may be worth mentioning first, but if they subsequently ignore you and continue to cut through you nay end up out of pocket putting up a gate and even more pissed off 🤣

Muchtoomuchtodo · 05/02/2023 16:56

That is a top class diagram!

i’d try putting signs up and having a polite word first. If that doesn’t work I’d add gates. No locks as that would be a pita for you but gates should make it obvious that’s not a public right of way

TrinnySmith · 05/02/2023 16:57

Can you position your car so it’s much harder to get by

Mydogatemypurse · 05/02/2023 16:58

Gates are expensive, id just ask them 'is there a reason you keep walking through my garden'

mrsbitaly · 05/02/2023 16:59

Yes, annoying you have to put in an extra expense to prevent it, but i would just put a gate in and not say anything

Mydogatemypurse · 05/02/2023 17:00

Surely they can put a gate to the left side of theirs for access

Thatwouldbeme · 05/02/2023 17:00

No uanbu, to be honest I would put a stop to letting anyone using the steps, as it would really annoy me and I would be worried if I decided to sell it may put off potential buyers.

OoooohMatron · 05/02/2023 17:00

Is there any chance they don't know they are your steps and think is public access? If not that's very cheeky and I'd have to say something.

Redebs · 05/02/2023 17:02

It's impinging on your privacy and it might even be a security risk.
You do need a gate. I would put a lock too, otherwise you'll just have them coming through and leaving it banging.
It's a way of asserting yourself in a reasonable way and might head off issues with people hanging around on your property or parking bikes etc etc

SoupDragon · 05/02/2023 17:02

A sign that says "PRIVATE. NO RIGHT OF WAY" is cheaper than gates.

SoupDragon · 05/02/2023 17:02

With a chain that goes across the gap

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