Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to stop neighbours from using the steps at the side of my house as shortcut?

346 replies

thelongroad · 05/02/2023 16:45

I genuinely can't decide whether saying something would be unreasonable or not.
Our house (blue) is next to the corner house (red). There is a new build next to us, consisting of 2 semis. The one right next to us is still empty, but just before Xmas a family moved into the other one (pink).

All the houses along our road have the front entrance along the front road, but can also be accessed from the back road (we have no garden, only parking spots for the cars). Neither the front nor the back are fenced off. Front road is a dead end, so nobody going past. Back road has occasional cars and kids walking to local school but otherwise nothing (rural village).

We own the bit between us and corner house (their land is fenced off all round). It's sloping downwards towards the back, and we've paved it and put in steps (grey lines) so we can walk from front to back of house. I've also got plants growing there and we have our firewood stack on the side.

Very occasionally kids who are playing on either road use our steps as a shortcut to the other road. This is ok. We've also had workmen ask to use it when they've been working on one road and needed to get to the other. Also fine.

However, since the new neighbours moved in, they have been using it ALL THE TIME for getting from the front to the back. They have a garage at the front of the house but park their 2nd car at the back. Clearly they have no way of getting into their house at the back (we put in a back door specifically for this purpose) so they using our steps to cut through instead of walking all the way around the corner house.

Now, the thing is that the steps go past our living/dining room, and I actually see them zipping past every time. If they look in they can see us too.

It's (irrationally?) annoying the fuck out of me that they seem to think they can just come onto my property because it's more convenient for them.
I've even blocked the bit a the front with a row of plant pots to make it slightly more obvious that it's not a public way, but they're still using it.

I can't decide if I'm being deeply unneighbourly and unreasonable in wanting them to stop using our steps. I know I can ask them to stop and they will have to (from a legal point of view) but should I? Why does this bother me so much??

Apologies that this is so long. I offer a diagram as compensation of you made it through!

AIBU to stop neighbours from using the steps at the side of my house as shortcut?
OP posts:
GreenBiscuitr · 05/02/2023 17:40

They might not fully realise so have a polite word first. If that doesn't work, put a gate up

Hadalifeonce · 05/02/2023 17:41

Is there anyway that they might not realise it isn't a general cut through, but private property?

WingingItSince1973 · 05/02/2023 17:41

OP is the area between your parking spot and theirs fenced in the middle of the two so obviously separate areas but open at the back if that makes sense?

Original poster
thelongroad · 05/02/2023 17:41

I suppose there's no middle ground here, is there? I genuinely don't mind when people do it occasionally - kids, the postman, workmen etc. It's the way it seems to have become how they get from their car to their front door!

OP posts:
MaydinEssex · 05/02/2023 17:42

I would also put gates up, padlock them, and put a 'Private Property' and / or a 'No Access' sign up. It would really annoy me, too, especially when they stare into your window.

UrsulaPandress · 05/02/2023 17:42

Can you put your bins there?

TequilaNights · 05/02/2023 17:42

If you allow the public to use it, they could eventually claim it as a public right of way (admittedly a long time) but nip it in the bud now.

DaveyJonesLocker · 05/02/2023 17:42

Just go round and tell them. "Hey we've noticed you've taken to using our steps as a shortcut, could you please not? It's our property and it's uncomfortable you walking over our property and right by our windows."

Like who would think you were wrong to ask them not to walk through your property. They bought the house knowing the lay out, it's not your problem. And it's only one more house to walk around.

PyjamaFan · 05/02/2023 17:43

This would hugely annoy me too OP. I think I would be putting large planters in the way, although I like the suggestion about the chain and a 'Private, no entry!' sign.

UrsulaPandress · 05/02/2023 17:43

They’re also the age old issue of what happens if they tripped on your land …….

AmandaHoldensLips · 05/02/2023 17:43

Maybe stuff a note through their door?

"Dear Neighbour. We would appreciate if you would please stop using our path as a cut through. There is no right of way across our property to yours. Many thanks."

ColadhSamh · 05/02/2023 17:44

I too would be very annoyed at such an intrusion but would be concerned at the impact on my insurance. What if they have an accident while on your property and decide to make a claim? As part of the claim they state they regularly use your steps to get to the back. Could invalidate your insurance. Might seem far fetched but some people love to sue.

Original poster
thelongroad · 05/02/2023 17:45

@wingingitsince1973
They own the pink house, so there is a semi between us and them. The semi (green) is still being worked on (it's going to be 2 flats), so there is currently only a small wall between our parking spot and theirs.

OP posts:
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 05/02/2023 17:45

I know you say they'd have to be thick as shit to not realise, but they clearly don't realise it's bothering you!

First port of call would be to introduce yourself to them and let them know if they didn't that your path isn't actually a right of way? If they continue to use it, then you know they're just your common or garden arsehole and you can spend money on a fence or whatever.

Cakedoesntjudge · 05/02/2023 17:45

If you decide to let them keep using it, send them a dated letter (and keep a copy) saying that it is private property and any use of it is by the strict consent of you and your successors in title only.

PPs have quite rightly said above that you risk a right of way being established by way of prescription. But for them to claim this in the future they'd have to demonstrate that they've been using the right of way for 20+ years without doing so by force, secretly or with consent.

Sending them a letter that you keep a copy of means you/future owners could easily put an end to any such claim.

I would just have a chat though, they might have falsely been told by the builders they could use it for access, for example. Maybe you could give them the details for the person who put a back door in for you at your property?

TenoringBehind · 05/02/2023 17:45

Just have a polite and friendly word. I bet they don’t realise the situation.

no need to go straight for the nuclear options.

Jaxinthebox · 05/02/2023 17:47

Just go knock on their door - say that you have noticed them keep walking through your garden
1 say how it was such a pain when you didn't have a back door then
2 give them the number of your door guy

3 tell them its not a public right of way, ask them to stop doing this,
4 if it doesn't stop then you have to block off your garden or it will drive you absolutely batshit crazy.

Cornelious2011 · 05/02/2023 17:48

I would speak to them. I think as you let kids/ workmen use it they probably think it's a public path.

louise5754 · 05/02/2023 17:48

I'm probably being thick but what is a terraced back door? They do have a back door then? How can a house only have one door?

Boooooot · 05/02/2023 17:49

Just speak to them they probably dont realise

Thinking2022 · 05/02/2023 17:49

I don't know the law but I think that if you let people access in this way for a number of years you create a right of way permanently so you need to stop it if you want to keep the land for your own use. maybe google can help

amonsteronthehill · 05/02/2023 17:49

Gate it if you can.

Ask them politely to stop using it.

Stop letting kids, workmen use it.

You don't want it to be argued it's a public right of way / easement due to continual use . Even if you win a legal challenge down the line, it will be expensive.

PuzzledObserver · 05/02/2023 17:50

You say it’s obvious they’re crossing your property, but don’t underestimate how thick unobservant some people can be.

Step 1: Friendly word - hello neighbour, hope you’re settling in - perhaps you weren’t aware, but those steps are our private property not a public right of way, please stop using them as it’s very intrusive.

Step 2: A private property/no right of way sign, and/or a chain. The chain doesn’t need big and expensive, nor does it need to be up all the time. But by having it in place and across at least once a year, you prevent accidentally allowing a right of way being established. So this is worth doing even if the friendly word is successful.

Step 3: (if they don’t stop) Cease and Desist letter

Step 4: Move (joke). I don’t know what else you can do. It is trespass, which is a civil matter, so I guess that means you would have to get an injunction or something.

Original poster
thelongroad · 05/02/2023 17:52

They won't have seen anyone using it - they only moved in before Christmas, it tends to get used by kids occasionally in summer when they are all playing out.

I don't know what the right-of-way laws are here (it's not strictly relevant but we are not in the UK), but I think we will look into getting the whole area fenced off. We've talked about it but always put it off as it's so expensive and not actually necessary.

OP posts:
BloomingXmas · 05/02/2023 17:52

it sounds like it is very obvious that it isn’t a public right of way. They are cf’s