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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be enormously offended by the C-word

216 replies

AmericasfavoritefightingFrenchman · 04/02/2023 19:29

So today a man called me a c* during an argument, and I was assured by everyone around, including three women, that this is no longer an insulting word, not shocking or taboo, and that I was unreasonable to be enormously offended.

This idea is shocking to me. Surely it’s very offensive and deeply misogynistic? I was definitely offended, and hurt that the women I was with thought it was no big deal.

Or am I unreasonable? Is it so unoffensive these days as to be a casual, unremarkable part of conversation?

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 05/02/2023 00:44

amberjoleaf · 04/02/2023 21:07

So many women on here being hysterical about being called a vagina. It's another (albeit not a nice) word for a vagina. How is it misogynistic?

I don't think men are remotely as horrified when they get called a dick. Or a knob. Or a wanker.

How can it be misogynistic when there are male alternatives that get thrown around too?

It's misogynistic because it's considered more offensive to use cunt than it is dick.

On the other hand Men can survive their appendage being thrown around I'm sure. A womans vagina does far more good and works far harder.

Cunt should only be used as an affectionate term imo!

Mckmck · 05/02/2023 02:13

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 04/02/2023 19:50

Ever called someone a dick? Dick, twat, prick and fanny seem to be used a lot on mumsnet. Cunt is no different

Same way I view it.

I honestly do not understand why it is top of the offensive list

NumberTheory · 05/02/2023 04:41

I think it’s all about context and intent.

I find the idea of it being a hugely mysognistic word whose use is totally taboo to be a bit over the top and not at all helpful to women as a class. We’d be better off if words that refer to us didn’t have that sort of punch and people who wanted to be insulting had to spell it out a bit more clearly and explain exactly what they were trying to say about us.

Goodread1 · 05/02/2023 05:36

@Stupidpeoplesuck

It's obvious what's offensive 🙄 it's the very meaning behind it,

It's hardly used as complement

MissTrip82 · 05/02/2023 05:58

InspectorPaws · 04/02/2023 19:39

This.

Many women (almost exclusively on here) insist that it’s horrifically offensive but seem entirely incapable of explaining why they think it’s any worse than other words.

Show quote history

Yes those silly stupid women. If only they were as cool and rational as you. You’re different.

I’ve been called this many times (health care worker, comes with the territory). Every single time with misogynistic venom.

It is not remotely the same as being called a vagina. Nor is it remotely the same to use the word in passing as it is to spit it AT someone.

But you know that. The ‘not like other girls’ feigned ignorance is just that, feigned.

LadyMargaretDevereux · 05/02/2023 05:58

SavoirFlair · 04/02/2023 20:38

So sick and tired of seeing the wannabe cool people on here posting “it’s an everyday word in our household” etc.

Have you completely missed the point of context when it comes to words?

If your DH calls the cat a daft cunt, good on him. Because the context there is that he’s using a previously offensive word in jest. If someone says “you silly cunt “ to you, and you understand the context, then fine.

but that DOES NOT take away the word’s power in everyday life. You cannot decontextualise the word for thousands of women who would know the intent someone uses that word for, and why.

If someone says to a woman “you fucking CUNT” it’s clear this isn’t an in joke or some sort of decontextualised use of the word in jest.

It’s designed to hurt, to wound, to diminish.

context is everything. Don’t ever try to come on here and tell everyone the word is fine. It’s not when someone is trying to verbally wound and upset a woman.

Very well put. Thank you!

Rememberal · 05/02/2023 06:08

Remagirl · 04/02/2023 20:12

Come to Scotland it's a term of endearment 😂

😂

To be enormously offended by the C-word
hattie43 · 05/02/2023 06:27

Being called the C word and being spat at are equally the most vile things . Thankfully I don't know anyone who does either of those things .

EnterFunnyNameHere · 05/02/2023 06:42

I don't really understand how some swear words are "worse" than others, but I know that a lot of people hate the word cunt, so it's not one I use except with people I know for sure are OK with it.

I do think with all swearing there's an enormous difference between swearing in general terms, and swearing at someone. Swearing at someone is very often uncontrolled anger and an attempt to shut them up/intimidate them - I wouldn't put up with being sworn at in that situation, and I don't swear at people in that context either.

I do find it interesting that there's people I come across at work who would faint in horror if they heard the word cunt out loud, but will happily called someone a "paddy", which I think is much more offensive!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 05/02/2023 06:53

missmollygreen · 04/02/2023 19:51

its just a word

So is 'black'. It's the context that can make it offensive.

HelicopterHeights · 05/02/2023 06:54

I use the word quite often. I grew up working class though, and some times you need to call someone out if they are being a cunt. I have been called a cunt before, many a time. I don't see the big deal. I think it is rich, white women who are most offended, and frankly, it isn't really my priority to appease this group with my choice of language.

InspectorPaws · 05/02/2023 08:10

MissTrip82 · 05/02/2023 05:58

Yes those silly stupid women. If only they were as cool and rational as you. You’re different.

I’ve been called this many times (health care worker, comes with the territory). Every single time with misogynistic venom.

It is not remotely the same as being called a vagina. Nor is it remotely the same to use the word in passing as it is to spit it AT someone.

But you know that. The ‘not like other girls’ feigned ignorance is just that, feigned.

Show quote history

So, you’ve just completely proven my point combined with a bunch of upset because you’ve imagined you’ve been insulted (I never said anything you accused me of saying) whilst actually being intentionally insulting? Good work.

Would you really be less offended/upset and find it less rude if a patient called you a slag/bitch/whore?

Sagealicious · 05/02/2023 08:30

Here in OZ it's used as both a term of endearment and an insult

sick cunt/mad cunt = good
dog cunt = bad

Also depends on tone as well when it's being said.

I think it's losing it's shock value especially among the younger generations. I was on the bus the other week and a few teens were using it freely and no one blinked an eye. Then again I live in an area where bogans roam freely.

whumpthereitis · 05/02/2023 10:37

MissTrip82 · 05/02/2023 05:58

Yes those silly stupid women. If only they were as cool and rational as you. You’re different.

I’ve been called this many times (health care worker, comes with the territory). Every single time with misogynistic venom.

It is not remotely the same as being called a vagina. Nor is it remotely the same to use the word in passing as it is to spit it AT someone.

But you know that. The ‘not like other girls’ feigned ignorance is just that, feigned.

Show quote history

Ffs. It’s arguably also misogynistic to think women who say they have no issue with the word ‘cunt’ are only doing so in order to appear cool. We don’t really have a different opinion to you, we’re just pretending we do in order to impress men 🙄

LakieLady · 05/02/2023 10:53

cla2012 · 04/02/2023 20:21

Best not visit Scotland if it offends, it's a term of endearment here 😂

Seriously though, it has the same meaning as twat and fanny, and I don't see that it's any different from the male equivalents of prick, dick, knobend, bellend etc. Tone is the key!

A friend who spent a month working in Glasgow maintains that among Glaswegians, "cunt" takes the place of "one" in some words, eg "everycunt", "anycunt", "somecunt".

If it's good enough for Chaucer, it's good enough for me.

LakieLady · 05/02/2023 11:03

Abitofalark · 04/02/2023 21:07

It is far from inoffensive and it is awful the way that women throw it and other misogynistic terms about so casually on mumsnet, which the owners do nothing to deter though they are very particular about offensive language in other cases.

I don't think it is misogynistic though, any more than "cock" or "dick" is misandrist.

And is using "arsehole" as term of abuse derogatory to everyone? After all, we've all got one.

Cocobutt · 05/02/2023 11:46

If someone says to a woman “you fucking CUNT” it’s clear this isn’t an in joke or some sort of decontextualised use of the word in jest.

It’s designed to hurt, to wound, to diminish.

Surely if someone says

“you fucking BITCH”

or

“you fucking SLUT”

They are just as bad as the word cunt.

I don’t get how cunt is more offensive than other words in this context.

emotionalmotionsicknesss · 05/02/2023 11:49

Well my dad is Scottish and I hear it semi-regularly around the house and have done for many years. He’s never, ever used it in an aggressive way and I’d be shocked if someone called me it in an argument. Same as bitch. If a man ever called me a bitch I’d be gone.

whumpthereitis · 05/02/2023 14:22

Cocobutt · 05/02/2023 11:46

If someone says to a woman “you fucking CUNT” it’s clear this isn’t an in joke or some sort of decontextualised use of the word in jest.

It’s designed to hurt, to wound, to diminish.

Surely if someone says

“you fucking BITCH”

or

“you fucking SLUT”

They are just as bad as the word cunt.

I don’t get how cunt is more offensive than other words in this context.

Indeed. In that situation I would say the fact that someone wants to hurt and diminish me is the more obvious concern, rather than the words they use to express that.

MarshaMelrose · 05/02/2023 17:07

LakieLady · 05/02/2023 10:53

A friend who spent a month working in Glasgow maintains that among Glaswegians, "cunt" takes the place of "one" in some words, eg "everycunt", "anycunt", "somecunt".

If it's good enough for Chaucer, it's good enough for me.

Show quote history

Chaucer was allowed to beat his entire household if he felt it appropriate. I hope my husband doesn't find out, because, hey, if it's good enough for Chaucer....

Oakbeam · 05/02/2023 17:13

Chaucer was allowed to beat his entire household if he felt it appropriate. I hope my husband doesn't find out, because, hey, if it's good enough for Chaucer....

I was thinking the same thing when I read that post.

I don’t use the word and nobody I associate with does either, past or present. Despite me once being married to a Glaswegian.

userxx · 05/02/2023 17:16

Sagealicious · 05/02/2023 08:30

Here in OZ it's used as both a term of endearment and an insult

sick cunt/mad cunt = good
dog cunt = bad

Also depends on tone as well when it's being said.

I think it's losing it's shock value especially among the younger generations. I was on the bus the other week and a few teens were using it freely and no one blinked an eye. Then again I live in an area where bogans roam freely.

Dog cunt 🤣🤣 This week I'm on a mission to call someone a dogs cunt, it needs to be dropped into the conversation subtly 😏

MarshaMelrose · 05/02/2023 17:20

Dog cunt 🤣🤣 This week I'm on a mission to call someone a dogs cunt, it needs to be dropped into the conversation subtly 😏

How is that even possible?!!

Devoutspoken · 05/02/2023 17:35

Would you be happy for your kid to start calling people a cunt?

MarshaMelrose · 05/02/2023 17:54

For your 5 yo to go to you, "hey cunt, pass me my juice."

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