That threads starting "how do people afford....house, car, holiday, etc" are annoying

[bobbytorq]

I don't understand the purpose of the above threads. Is it because people really don't know and think there is some magic answer that eludes them? When people post about how they can afford it, they then get accused of lying or bragging. The simple answer is that people who have expensive things usually have enough money to pay for them. I'm lucky to have lots of friends whose income ranges from minimum wage up to seven figures. There is no hierachy/power/status attached to that and it's just a fact that my friend who earn more can spend more.

People don't think outside the box sometimes
I know many who have recently had inheritances from parents / grandparents or just put it all on credit or loans or everything in between!

It’s just typical of the mainly British readership and forum posters here.

The curtain twitching. Endless distrust of everyone. Inability to celebrate another’s success. A belief that if someone appears outwardly wealthy, they must stack it all up on credit or are in denial or liars etc.

I think it's more a 'am I missing something?' Sort of question.

Everything is so expensive at the moment so obviously something has to give. It's always going to be the luxuries that take the hit first. People all have different incomes and outgoings and also start from a different place - some might have been given deposits for houses or had inheritance etc and I think people forget that. They just see holiday photos on Facebook and think 'I must be missing something'

I think there is a genuine question to be had. When housing has become a vast multiple of income, far in excess of what historically was. If you live in an area where standard housing like a 3 bed semi is £500k+, that’s what? 13/14 times the average salary. The basic formula of lending is about 4 times average salary, so it’s natural to have curiosity.

Same for things like what is considered a luxury car, or nice holidays.

Money doesn’t go as far as it used to, and there’s a lot of people who are in the dark as to wage transparency, particularly for the private sector/industries that the lay person might not have a lot of knowledge about.

They drive me batshit. Surely it can’t be so hard to work out that someone has more money than you.

It's a symptom of having one of the most unequal societies in Europe with huge disparities in wealth.

Of course it’s a genuine question and the fact some people don’t find the answer obvious while other people can’t see how it’s NOT obvious is testament to how economically divided our country has become.

I agree with this. We see others who appear to be living a fabulous lifestyle and think how do they do it am I missing a trick somewhere.

Sometimes its just people have different priorities. They may holiday in a fairly exotic location or appear to go away very frequently (but stay somewhere really basic and cheap or with relatives or friends all cramped in a small space). They put the best photos on Facebook and it can be misleading.

Or some people eat very very cheaply year round and are very frugal generally and splurge on what they see as priorities a nice holiday or a car etc giving an illusion of an expensive all round lifestyle.

They’re not annoying as such but they are totally pointless because the only answer is ‘people have different circumstances to your own personal circumstances.’ Some people have more money for whatever reason, some people prioritise their income better or differently to you, some people may be in debt or using credit and so on and so forth. And it seems silly to me that adults can’t grasp that everyone has different incomes and priorities.

I totally agree OP. I always think the writers of those posts are being completely disingenuous.

It’s going to be one of two things. Either the people who are affording the holidays, cars, mansions, takeaways or whatever earn enough money to afford it, or they’re sticking it all on credit.

By writing those posts and being all “golly gee, I’m so darn confuddled, please enlighten silly old me” it’s merely to invite people to be accused of bragging when they state they earn enough to afford these things, or to be bashed for daring to use credit.

Absolutely pointless posts 🙄

Not annoying enough to make a thread about imo

They don't bother me, I've certainly wondered about it with cars when I was looking to buy a new one and quikly realising how expensive one with a not-terrible mileage was. But then, I hate the idea of being in debt. If you don't care about that, suddenly you can 'afford' a lot of nice things.

I find these threads annoying too. Me & DH are relatively low earners, household income under £50k but we have comparatively high disposal income as we are savvy when it comes to bills & we don't have a lot of outgoings, no car for example, which allows us to spend our money on things we enjoy like eating out every week & city breaks away. I've had comments from friends about how we can afford to always be 'out & about' but their mortage is three times what ours is & they run 2 expensive cars for a start so to me its pretty obvious their outgoing are much higher leaving them with less although they are higher earners than we are.

People are jealous, so they seek to prove it’s all a sham. They often have little understanding about what other people can earn in different jobs (I really think kids in school need to understand this too!), or the impact of getting on the housing ladder earlier.

When I was late 20s, but looked much younger, I had a professional job paying very well, and no children to drain me dry. My new neighbours were clearly confused about how I, a single young woman, could be buying my house, and made plenty of comments digging for information. I also remember being in the garden centre and buying flowers in pots for me and my grandma - money was no object, but I’d changed my mind so had some I was about to put back and so my trolley was pretty full. An older couple walked past and sneered “someone’s won the lottery”. It’s not very nice, I think it’s a British thing.

Well, yes, the obvious answer is “they have more money than you”, but the reasons WHY they have more money is sometimes more complex. It’s often presented as simply a matter of working harder, being more intelligent or making better choices, when sometimes (not always) there are other factors like inheritance or family help (and I include adults living rent free with parents or lots of free childcare) involved. If you don’t have those things, it can make you wonder why you’re working just as hard but don’t have the same rewards.

I think you've missed the third reason - inherited /gifted wealth

Often people have lifestyles quite disconnected from their salary these days, because some families have made vast amounts through the growth in property values.

I actually think often the question itself is rhetorical and the OP just actually wants a moan about not being able to have things that others have.

I can understand why I can be frustrating sometimes working hard and seeing people around you having nice things or experiences when you're struggling to get by.

It’s generally a thread to bash silly people who take out credit - it’s snobbishness as obviously living within your means and saving for something, not borrowing and paying it back - or even worse, renting something - is considered lower class.

the lease car thread was hilarious. Apparently it’s morally superior to drive a car until it’s in the ground, paying out for repairs and servicing etc, while saving up to buy a new car then doing the same and getting next to nothing back when you sell it on; than to spend a tiny bit more overall but leasing a different car every couple of years. (And I say that someone who’s 2 household cars are owned out right.)

I think a lot of people are not fully aware of the extent of wealth inequality in this country, so when they see their peers on holidays they'd never be able to afford in a lifetime it really can be hard to comprehend just "how the other half live". It's a mix of curiosity, ignorance and jealousy I suppose.

You're going to get these mindsets given that we're the fourth most economically unequal society in Europe.

The UK's lowest income households are 20% poorer than their equivalent in France, and even in Slovenia, for instance. That's absurd.

The poorest Irish have a standard of living almost 63% higher than the poorest in the UK. That seems barely believable, doesn't it?

I’m with @mamnotmum here. When I was very depressed and in a job that I hated, and a small 2-bed flat with 2 growing DC’s and no storage, I was looking for a new job or career that I could get into that would make me better off both mentally and financially.

Asking this question (to myself - if Social Media had been around at that time I might very well have asked this question in an anonymous forum) added to the burning sense that I must be doing something wrong in my life to not be able to move house into a better, bigger home, with outside space for drying washing, and the DC to run around.
In the end, I was able to find that better job, which allowed me to achieve the move and lifestyle I had previously craved: the issue was that the Company I worked for had a toxic environment in my department, so I didn’t have to change my area of expertise - just to work for a bigger and better Company.
I think comparing yourself with others is natural, and if people are unhappy with their lot, they’re just trying to get an idea of how to better themselves by asking these questions, OP…

Oh and often it’s down to one of three things - 1) they have more money coming in than you, 2) they spend less in other areas than you (the old “you see what people spend, not what they don’t spend) or 3) the thing they have bought cost less than you think.

Or their parents are rich. Don't forget that one.

@MaryMcCarthy - that comes under “more money coming in” - gifted or inherited money is still money coming in!

Absolutely this.

The news that the north south wealth disparity is greater than the gap was between East and West Germany at the fall of Communism was another shocker.

I get people wanting to better themselves but the questions tend not to provide that information. If people asked questions about how to earn more money or be more frugal then that would make more sense than ones that elicit answers that simply state "because I can afford it".