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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How long between asking and getting ears pierced?

178 replies

AmIreallyBeverly · 03/02/2023 09:27

Assuming you are happy they are old enough to make the decision and look after them, how long was it between your child first asking to get their ears pierced and you letting them get it done?

Please no discussion about piercing babies or toddlers ears. They are too young to decide or give consent so it isn't relevant to this discussion.

OP posts:
Raveon2000 · 03/02/2023 09:30

Probably for their next birthday
Both daughters had them around the age of 7/8 and have looked after them really well

Outfor150 · 03/02/2023 09:33

Well, age is relevant. I wouldn’t agree to a six- or seven-year-old at all. I would an 11-year-old. It would be for a birthday present, or perhaps be timed for school holidays.

BodyShapeWoes · 03/02/2023 09:34

My dd started asking at around 8, we did them at 10 at the start of the summer holidays. We wanted her to be old enough to look after them herself (under supervision)

They didn’t heal well at all and we had a year of problems (ended up the medical grade plastic earrings as she seems to react to most metals) she almost decided to give up but they finally healed with the above and some antibiotic cream fingers crossed seem ok at the moment

Before anyone asks they were done correctly by a piercing studio and looked after correctly she had reactions to metals - she said herself they weren’t worth the hassle as she can’t wear earrings from places like Claire’s 🤷‍♀️

slamfightbrightlight · 03/02/2023 09:34

Start of summer holidays at the end of year 6 to give it time to heal before starting high school. Whatever age I’d say start of summer holidays is best time to do it unless you’ve a holiday planned that involves lots of swimming!

DietCroak · 03/02/2023 09:35

DD and a lot of her friends had then done at the end of Y7. Timing it for the end of a school year is practical as you then have the whole summer hols for healing without having to worry about taking them out for sport at school.

Original poster
AmIreallyBeverly · 03/02/2023 09:35

But when did they start asking? How long did you make them wait so they/you knew they wanted them, not that it was a fad (for want of a better word).

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/02/2023 09:36

I don’t go by how long they should have to wait before getting to done, just by if they’re ready.

So my view was, are they old enough to look after it by themselves- do all the cleaning and turning etc?

In the end my Dd didn’t want hers done by the time she was old enough, and my DS both hasn’t asked and wouldn’t be mature enough to keep it clean etc

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/02/2023 09:37

I don’t think making them wait for a specific period makes any sense at all.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/02/2023 09:38

I had mine done at 11/ 12 (so Year 7) which seems quite sensible.

TeenDivided · 03/02/2023 09:38

End y5 earliest so they would look after them properly.
Wait a few months, usually for the summer holidays.
Check school rules re piercings and PE.

Whatthediddlyfeck · 03/02/2023 09:38

The start of the summer holidays is a good time to get them done for healing, although I’m aware that’s 6 months away…

28January · 03/02/2023 09:39

I took DD to get hers done the weekend after she asked which was probably younger than people would be happy in the UK but we don't live in the UK. To me it was one of those non issues that really wasn't worth making an issue over, I really couldn't be arsed hearing other parents' opinions on whether or not it was appropriate - make whatever decision you want for you own kid, I'll do the same for mine.

angelopal · 03/02/2023 09:40

DD8 asked at start of December so said she could get them done for Christmas. A lot of her friends have them done so 8 seems quite common age here.

So not long to wait. Also timed with not having swimming lessons over Christmas holidays.

Outfor150 · 03/02/2023 09:42

They didn’t “start asking”. Nor did I make them wait, really. One asked at about age 12, the other even later. Obviously, it’s not something you just do -it’s for a birthday, or perhaps leaving primary school. It’s a treat.

SkankingWombat · 03/02/2023 09:42

Age does matter. If upper Primary age, then I would do it 6 weeks before the summer hols as they are allowed to keep them in at school for 6 weeks when first done. This would then give 12 weeks to heal with the holidays too and time to get used to changing them.
If 14+, then whenever they've scraped the money together to do it.

MrsElm · 03/02/2023 09:42

My DD had them done about 2 months ago. She is 12, and she told me she was ready. We had discussed it previously, so the only waiting required was for the appointment at the piercing studio.

Original poster
AmIreallyBeverly · 03/02/2023 09:42

@BodyShapeWoes

That is part of my concern. I begged my parents for years before I had them done at 14. Then they caused no end of issues. (Partly because I was scared to tell the my parents I was having issues as they didn't want me to have them done anyway and would have shouted at me).

I haven't worn earrings for decades and really, really regret having them done.

OP posts:
imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 03/02/2023 09:42

Ds asked when he was about 9. I told him we'd think about it in the summer holidays so they had time to heal. He then admitted a few weeks layer that he only wanted them done because he thought his dad would like him more.

He asked again at 17, we were on the bus into town. Booked an appointment and got them done that afternoon.

SillyOldMummy · 03/02/2023 09:44

My dd mentioned it during lockdown (haha) and we talked about whether she’d cope with looking after her ears and whether taking the earrings in and out would be tricky. fyi My dd is a notable wuss, for years even cutting fingernails was a trauma!

She is also usually too optimistic about her own determination to do the things she has committed to (“yes mummy of COURSE I’ll care for the hamster…”).

So I made her wait til summer hols in Y6.

The piercing was fine but 7 months later she still sobs with fear when she has to switch pairs of earrings. Bless her too late now!

Ragwort · 03/02/2023 09:50

Is your DD aware of the problems you experienced? Have you talked frankly to her about it? Have you really spelt out to her how difficult it can be to look after your ears.
Fortunately I don't have a DD and my DS has never shown any interest in having a piercing ... so I've never had the dilemma of being asked. I'm probably of the mindset to say 'at 18, when you pay for them and you look after them'.
I remember going to have my ears pierced at 18 and then backing out at the last minute with nerves ....finally had them done in my late 20s but rarely wear earrings now.

Oopswediditagain2023 · 03/02/2023 09:52

Until the school holidays if they're not allowed to wear them at school. It's a pita having to cover them with plasters in the morning!

Comefromaway · 03/02/2023 09:54

I think dd was about 9 or 10 when she asked. She had them done at the start of the school summer holiday. I felt she was old enough to understand and look after them herself at that point.

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/02/2023 09:55

slamfightbrightlight · 03/02/2023 09:34

Start of summer holidays at the end of year 6 to give it time to heal before starting high school. Whatever age I’d say start of summer holidays is best time to do it unless you’ve a holiday planned that involves lots of swimming!

Something like this. And not before 11

If you’re worried about it being a fad, say in the next holiday or Christmas or whatever. But most girls have their ears pierced so it’s not something I’d worry about her regretting. You don’t have to wear earrings just because your ears are pierced.

Rebel2023 · 03/02/2023 09:55

My mum said no until I was 16
I had them done a week before my 16th birthday in the end!

JaceLancs · 03/02/2023 09:56

DD had to wait till the school holidays - think she asked about 6 months before

I can’t remember age but think it was near the end of primary school
I had my done at 14 but only because my Mum and Auntie wanted theirs done and I was the trial