How long between asking and getting ears pierced?

[AmIreallyBeverly]

Assuming you are happy they are old enough to make the decision and look after them, how long was it between your child first asking to get their ears pierced and you letting them get it done?

Please no discussion about piercing babies or toddlers ears. They are too young to decide or give consent so it isn't relevant to this discussion.

I had a similar experience and sort of regret having mine done because I much prefer the look of an unblemished lobe. If I add on the pain and hassle from them going wrong, and compare that with the minor enjoyment from wearing earrings for a couple of years, overall it’s definitely a negative.

My mother brought up the subject when I was about 11. I didn't fancy the idea then and never have. Our daughter never asked us.

Same for me. I had them done when as it just seemed like something that people do. All my friends had them done. As soon as I had them done I couldn’t see what all the fuss was about really…. Wearing earrings didn’t add anything to my life. I kept them clean like I was supposed, wore earrings very occasionally for a few years then stopped bothering. I can’t see what the benefits were of having them done.

@WaddleAway it's not expensive.

It’s £60 where I am. Might not be expensive to you 🤷🏻‍♀️, but I wouldn’t buy my children a £60 toy/gadget unless it was a Christmas or birthday, so wouldn’t spend £60 on ear piercing on a whim either.

My Mum had mine pierced when I was two. My Dad hated it so took the earrings out and told her they had gone missing, the holes closed up. I had them repierced when I was about 9 but I had been asking for it doing for a while before my Dad took me. I don’t bother with earrings now at all.

My DD’s are 10 and 11 and haven’t asked. If they did I’d probably say next birthday. Neither of them want it doing because they don’t want the pain and don’t like the way it looks anyway.

Well, if it helps, I don't think many people spend much time looking at people's earlobes or having any thoughts about them. They're only likely to look if you're wearing eye catching earrings.

I appreciate that might not make a difference to how you feel about it so it might not be much comfort, but it may help to know that nobody else is thinking anything negative.

Did you have a terrible time with infections? I've probably had two infections in my piercings over the years...applied TCP, all sorted in a couple of days and I think the holes must be too well healed now to let anything in any more. I think you must be very unlucky if it's caused serious problems...I don't think that's very common.

I regret it because I still have issues with them. They also aren't tiny holes. Even if I didn't have ongoing issues, it really wasn't worth it for the pain and upset during that time.

It's £60 here too (for the basic earring which she wouldn't like) which is more than I'd randomly spend on a treat for her. Definately birthday/Christmas/special reward territory.

I do agree that most people wouldn't notice/care about my ear lobes. 😂

Ds1 asked when he was 7 to pierce his ear. Badgered me for months so I took him the start of the 6 weeks holidays when he was 8.

dd1 (a year older than ds) wasn’t interested when she was younger, but got them pierced when she was 16. She Didn’t need to ask my permission by then, not that I would have refused, she researched and went to the jewellers off her own back.

I just can’t imagine the regret linked to an ear piercing though. You just take them out, you don’t even see anything when the earrings aren’t in.

I would say 14 is the old enough to not have to wait an arbitrary amount of time to prove she wants it done enough.

My DD asked at 9 and I let her but waited until the start of the summer holidays to give them chance to heal over the 6 weeks off school. I would have allowed her from 7 if she'd asked, for me it's no big deal at all.

DD showed an interest at about 7 or 8, which was far too young for her. We said no until sge was 13 so don't even ask. She didn't.

By the end of primary school I thought she was mature enough to look after them, and also thought that the vast majority of her peers had either had them done or would do as a leaving primary ritual. I had to persuade her dad that 11 wasn't too young - we are quite strict on some things but I honestly thought ear piercing wasn't an issue any more. I booked her in at a tattoo and piercing place as a surprise, in time for her leavers' do at school. She couldn't believe her luck, and fewer children than I thought got pierced then so for once in her life she was a trend setter rather than a follower. I said it was a big treat, but definitely no more piercing until she was an adult and paying herself. She never asked, but at 13 or so if she'd asked for a second set I'd have said yes. She finally got a second piercing at 20 as an end of year at uni treat - obviously she is now an adult and has complete bodily autonomy. I'm waiting to see whether the pondered about tattoo for her 21st birthday actually happens.

It's not an arbitrary time though. That's my point. If your child who had never shown much interest in getting a piercing suddenly started asking, I doubt you'd immediately take them. You'd give them chance to think about it, make sure they want it, a cooling off period!
Sticking holes in yourself is a big deal.
That's all I'm wondering. How long between starting to ask and actually getting it done?
If we need to wait for the summer holidays it will be next year anyway because we can't get it done this summer.

And if you pay £60 for them to have it done and they take them out and never wear them again, it’s a waste of £60 🤷🏻‍♀️. So yes, I’d definitely make sure they’re totally sure about having it done, as well as waiting for a birthday or special occasion.

People have given you a variety of answers. There's no right or wrong here. You need to make a decision for what's right for your child.

DD has asked on and off for a year. Got really keen at the end of the summer hols and I've told her she needs to wait until the next one. She can twiddle and disinfect and so on all summer long. She'd have to take out even stud earrings for games so better that they are fully healed which she gets.
If she wants it done by July she'll be nearly 11 which I'm fine with. She needs to be old enough to look after them. Mine were done when I was maybe 7 and I don't remember whether I was asked as such, I probably was but it was seen as feminine and expected. I mostly remember the shock of the coolant and the gun.

That's all I'm wondering. How long between starting to ask and actually getting it done?

Ok, well, I'd say a few months at that age. It's long enough for it to pass if it is just a whim, although I don’t think pierced ears will ever be a fad. Of course not everyone likes them, but a single hole in each lobe is never going to be actively unfashionable or unusual.

Waiting until the start of the summer holidays seems perfect. Long enough to be sure she wants to do it and then, as people say, she'll have all summer to get the fiddly first few weeks out of the way before school starts.

Do kids have to take earrings out for new piercings for PE? When I was at school we were allowed to just wear a plaster over them if they were too new to take out.

The rule was always in the summer holidays before starting secondary. Ask away before then, it will be a no. One DD actually got to that age and then didn’t want it in the end, and the other did.

I was 8 when I got mine done at the same time as my older sister who was 10.
I remember crying in shock at it hurting (yes I am a wuss). I think for my DD 10/11 (Yr 6) would be youngest I'd go? Although I'm a bit of a pushover with her sometimes so it might depend how desperately she wanted it done a little (but not too much) younger! Shes 4 so hopefully a long way off asking!
I very rarely wear earrings nowadays

I took my nieces for their birthdays, one 7th birthday (she had been asking for over a year) and one her 9th.

Round here it makes sense to do it in primary school because they are allowed to wear earrings as long as they have the correct back on them so they have as much time as needed for healing, whereas they aren’t allowed at all at high school.

Omg I'm out of touch £60!!!!!
Jesus Christ!!!

Dd is 7 hasn't asked but none of her friends have it done I'm inclined to wait until she's a bit bigger we have tears removing a glitter tattoo!!!

I don’t have concerns what other people might think. I’m aware very few people stare at my ears for long, and those that do and notice the piercing site will barely even think about it! I don’t lose sleep over it and it’s in no sense something that materially affects my life.

I didn’t have terrible infections and they didn’t need anything more than TCP or the like. But they hurt a bit and annoyed me and I had quite a few, possibly because after the first few months I didn’t wear earrings all the time so they’ve partially healed up a few times and I’ve broken through and opened them up anew.

I’m not claiming I had an awful time. If I had my time over I wouldn’t get them done. To that extent I regret them. But it wasn’t so bad I’d have ever mentioned it spontaneously. And I won’t be listing it on my death bed as one of the things I should have done differently in life, I have a million more serious “mistakes” I’ve made!

My DD started asking quite young but eventually got them done for her 10th birthday. I didn't make her wait for any reason other than I wanted her to be able to look after them herself (with some help) (although I do think it looks awful on younger children). I knew it wasn't a phase, she's always been into jewellery and dressing up and really wanted to help keep them clean herself from a young age.