Will try to summarise.
Myself and kids Dad split March 2021. Due to lack of finances I stayed in the house and lived in the dining room. He point blank refused to move out of house and to preserve my mental health I managed to find somewhere to rent and moved out Feb 2022 (had to save for deposit and rural area with very few affordable rentals)
Two kids 13 and 8.
We were never married.
He remained in house jointly owned and has agreed to pay me 50% equity when fixed rate ends in November this year. Truly gutted as I loved that house but her ho.
He is self employed specialist groundworker. Income unknown and will not confirm. Accounts on companies house are only basic ones so dont show income.
I am part time employed and self employed trying to pursue my own wedding business (Fridays/Saturdays). Had to take on extra work to afford rent and cost of living crisis. Was very lucky to find something I know.
Kids stay with me mostly. Youngest with me 5 days a week, eldest 6 days a week. Ex has kids 3 weekends out of 4. I have them other weekend. Kids come back to me 1pm Sunday.
All is working really well, or so I thought.
Ex calls mediation this week. We attend and he would now like
- every other weekend off so that he can have a social life. (he has now changed this arguement to 'so he can work')
- Have kids one night in the week. Pick up then drop of at school or breakfast club depending on his work.
He says he wants to spend more time with them yet wants to send them back to me.
I say yes to him having kids for one night in the week as youngest has expressed a wish to spend more time with his Dad. I put in a caveat that Ex pays for childcare for that 24 hour period. Ex point blank refuses and says he will take it out of maintenance.
Mediator suggests I have kids Friday and Saturday night and all day Sunday for the extra weekend with me. Then ex has them whilst I work. I tend to co-ordinate the day so at work from 8am to 6pm plus driving time to and from venues. Reluctantly I say yes to this as it seems the only compromise. Ex point blank refuses again.
Now we are at stalemate.
To give you some idea he pays £75 pw maintenance. Childcare costs £14 per day afterschool, £5 per day breakfast, £52 per day holiday club.
We have very little family to help out.
To confirm I am more than happy for him to see his kids and am not denying him access.
I have a voucher scheme through work but still comes out of my wage and nowhere near covers it during school holidays.
AIBU to expect him to provide 1 days childcare? To comply with his wishes means I have to give up an extra days imcome and is going to look shocking to my new clients where I am trying to push my business!!!
Thanks all.