I think a good test of a joke is sometimes to turn it around and see how that feels.
So for instance my exH sometimes would say introducing me “Have you met my first wife?” It was said now and then over 20 years. I sort of saw the humour he was trying to get at, though I didn’t encourage it.
Then I turned it around and imagined my self saying of him “Have you met my first husband?” And suddenly it seemed such a patronising and dismissive thing to say.
So if your mates joke was twisted so that he/other men were the butt of the joke, is it as funny?
Im finding as I get older that there can be a real split between the ages, with older people (men especially) still thinking certain types of jokes are still acceptable.
About 20 years ago I remember a friends husband saying at a dinner party “How can you tell when your wife has an orgasm?” Answer “who cares?”. None of the women laughed, and there was only a bit of eye rolling. I’d like to think if someone tried that now, everyone at the table would let him know what a rubbish thing that was to say.
Professional comedians have license to tell certain classes of jokes. If we like them we trust them to tell the joke, but in a way that actually is calling out the prejudice.
OP I personally wouldn’t worry if you went overboard (I don’t know what the joke was, and my or any one else’s opinion is only ever going to be subjective), but perhaps next time he goes to make a joke or pass a remark, he might think twice.
If that does happen, then thankyou. Please go with your gut instinct, it’s only because you got push back you’re now doubting yourself.
We need more stroppy, opinionated women in this world, not less.