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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is our childcare provider being reasonable?

87 replies

tiredbuthappy86 · 02/02/2023 11:48

Have 2DC under 3y in childcare. #3 on the way, planning to go to DMIL on the other side of UK for 4 weeks after delivery to get help. Nursery said we can either pay for the full month or they'll cancel their places and we'd be on their v long waitlist. AIBU expecting some kind of compromise which isn't paying for a month of childcare just to secure our place? In the mean time I've found this service Poppet which has just launched locally, what do people think of these sorts of apps for finding childcare, heard mixed things about Bubble.
Post edited by MNHQ

OP posts:
DaftAporth · 02/02/2023 11:52

I'm afraid the cost of childcare is absolutely brutal, and while I can see that you don't want to be paying for nothing, it is a business. They have a waiting list. Why would they lose money to suit you?

edwinbear · 02/02/2023 11:53

You can't expect them to lose a month's income though because you're not using the space for a few weeks? It's not like they can give those spaces to other children just for 4 weeks. They will have the same costs for staff, heating etc.

Coffeellama · 02/02/2023 11:54

YABU you can’t expect them to loose money on your place for a month when they have a waiting list. This is 100% normal practice and although it’s annoying for you, they are not being unreasonable.

familyof4boys · 02/02/2023 11:55

I think that’s pretty standard as they can’t offer another child a place for that month so they’d just lose out on the income- so if you want the place, you have to pay for it. Could your mother in law come to you? Then you could keep the older ones in nursery (and routine, come home tired out etc etc) whilst you’re adjusting with the newborn?

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 02/02/2023 11:55

Of course you pay or lose the places. Otherwise everyone would want their holidays etc free? Good childcare is worth it’s weight in gold

Coffeellama · 02/02/2023 11:56

Also that website you recommended is one of several, you’d probably be better using a more established one like childcare.com as more providers will be signed up to it. That one says ‘join waiting list’ as it is so I can’t see how it would help you.

SoftSheen · 02/02/2023 11:58

YABU I'm afraid. Could you instead stay at home, keep both older children in nursery and have DMIL come to your own home to help?

Lkydfju · 02/02/2023 11:59

Sorry but you can’t expect them to hold your place and not pay otherwise they will lose money. Shame your mil can’t come to you instead as would be easier to keep them going to nursery

DashboardConfessional · 02/02/2023 11:59

YABU. This is essentially holiday. Very few nurseries allow a full month off with no payment. Ours gives us about a week holiday per year.

BellaJuno · 02/02/2023 12:01

edwinbear · 02/02/2023 11:53

You can't expect them to lose a month's income though because you're not using the space for a few weeks? It's not like they can give those spaces to other children just for 4 weeks. They will have the same costs for staff, heating etc.

This I’m afraid, they’re running a business with pretty fixed costs.

Cnidarian · 02/02/2023 12:03

No this isn't a thing, you have to pay. The place isn't available for another child, if you want it held open for yours you pay.

Kolakalia · 02/02/2023 12:04

YABU as many have said.

You're paying for a space for your child being held, for your child to attend. The space is reserved for your child regardless of whether you're there. Think logically: they can't accept another child for just four weeks then boot them out again. I know it's irksome to feel like you're paying for something you're not using but that's just how it works.

MelchiorsMistress · 02/02/2023 12:05

Of course they are being reasonable! why would you expect them to hold your place for nothing and sacrifice income for the sake of your convenience?

Coffeeandchocs · 02/02/2023 12:07

So what you’re actually asking for, is for them to keep the children’s spaces in the nursery, which means keeping the staff, keeping the resources and keeping their bills paid while you’re children aren’t there. While you don’t pay?
Of course that’s unreasonable!
You mention asking for some sort of compromise, I assume by that you mean paying less than you usually would. That’s still unreasonable. Nurseries run with very tight margins and pay their staff very little.

mrsbitaly · 02/02/2023 12:08

Its frustrating I completely understand as we pay for term time childcare but we still have to pay a fee in the holidays to keep the space for the next term. I don't think it's something you can avoid unless cancel the space and have another lined up for when you return

PatriciaHolm · 02/02/2023 12:08

If you want feedback on your (not very good) website, at least be explicit about it. Rather than trying to oh so subtly add it onto the end of your first post.

And the site is incomplete, and missing a number of compulsory items of company information. I would advise to avoid.

Ohdearnotagain76 · 02/02/2023 12:09

Surely you and DH are both paid for maternity/paternity/holiday so of course child care providers are. They still have to pay costs and staff and they can't take another child/children on as when yours return their be over their numbers. Could you pill them out for the ??? months maternity you have and hopefully find somewhere before you return to work. Or drop them to part time

Original poster
tiredbuthappy86 · 02/02/2023 12:10

@DaftAporth @edwinbear @Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday Yea fair enough - it's just so tough money wise at the moment. But I do get it's the same for everyone including businesses.

OP posts:
Original poster
tiredbuthappy86 · 02/02/2023 12:11

@Coffeellama That's strange for me it let me download an app and search rather than a waiting list, maybe depends on where you're based? I looked at care.com and bubble.com but I didn't like the fact they don't do any background checks you're expected to vet them yourself. This one they do a DBS and first-aid training etc. The carers are mostly other families/mums as well which seems good.

OP posts:
GCWorkNightmare · 02/02/2023 12:13

Surely it’s easier for MIL to come to you?!

youshouldnthaveasked · 02/02/2023 12:14

What does it say on your contract about holidays etc? We paid half fees for 4 weeks throughout the year for holidays

Coffeeandchocs · 02/02/2023 12:17

Also, if you were really pushy and managed to get the nursery to back down on this and come to some sort of arrangement it would be hell for them when anything similar comes up in future.

When the next child is off for two weeks with chicken pox, “why should I pay when my child is off sick when tiredbuthappy66 had a discount when she took her children out for four weeks?!”.

It would open a huge can of worms for them and that’s why they charge for anything but days that nursery is closed.

R0ckets · 02/02/2023 12:17

GCWorkNightmare · 02/02/2023 12:13

Surely it’s easier for MIL to come to you?!

This^^

Childcare aside which is 100% the norm and of course you would still have to pay I don't understand how it's easier for you to lug 3 tiny kids including a newborn to the other side of the country so she can help?

BookmarkReportSave · 02/02/2023 12:18

I don't understand why you think they should compromise? Your personal circumstances shouldn't impact on them

Original poster
tiredbuthappy86 · 02/02/2023 12:18

@SoftSheen @GCWorkNightmare Oh we've asked her! She's doing us a favour (in her view) as it is.

OP posts: