Is our childcare provider being reasonable?

[tiredbuthappy86]

Have 2DC under 3y in childcare. #3 on the way, planning to go to DMIL on the other side of UK for 4 weeks after delivery to get help. Nursery said we can either pay for the full month or they'll cancel their places and we'd be on their v long waitlist. AIBU expecting some kind of compromise which isn't paying for a month of childcare just to secure our place? In the mean time I've found this service Poppet which has just launched locally, what do people think of these sorts of apps for finding childcare, heard mixed things about Bubble.
Post edited by MNHQ

Bizarre post with equally strange details and a clear plug for what sounds like a dodgy website. All very odd indeed.

if this really is a genuine post, suck it up about the nursery and possibly look for one closer to home as you say you have to get public transport across the city.

Tbh you would be better keeping them in nursery and just getting on with it. If MIL won’t come to you then it’s extra stress taking kids out of their environment. I’d just stay put in your own home and own routine.

Hi Jodi,
Apply for maternity allowance in the meantime. Good luck !

Why would you use childcare on the other side of the city? Would you not try to find a nursery or childminder closer to home?

If you've just had a baby would your husband not be on paternity leave and able to do the nursery runs while you rest and recover from the birth? Even after he's gone back to work could he not do nursery drop off? If he can't do that he could at least leave you with the car (assume you do have a car that he uses to commute?) and he gets public transport to and from work?

None of this makes sense tbh, I just don't see how moving to MILs for 4 weeks could possibly be the most practical option

I would hate not being in my own house after giving birth and 4 weeks!!!!??

Thanks, OP! I was going to transport DS 200 miles to my mum's every day, by horse and cart, but that website has made me realise there is Another Way.

YABU - for referring to the human beings that care for your children in terms of 'providers' and "services". let alone needing an App to find them.

Not sure I want to invite further criticism or abuse explaining my personal circumstances but here goes. Travel across the city as the nurseries are very oversubscribed where I live and we couldn’t find any alternatives or childminders with availability, we moved further from the nursery after the kids started some time back but they were happy and I wanted them to be settled so seemed reasonable to keep them there. OH is not very well and not really able to help too much with the kids.

Really don’t appreciate being called entitled, I’m absolutely not that. I was just worried/anxious - I don’t see why it’s so bad to say things are hard and you’re struggling.

I’m not sure on all the comments about plugging a website are about - I just found online services that seemed to be alternatives options in our area and wondered if there was any experience using them.

Re my MIL I thought if I was asking her help it seemed reasonable to go to where she is, she is also working part time.

Didn’t realise you can apply for a maternity allowance even if you’re not eligible for maternity pay from an employer though so that was useful. To the person who asked whether I’d considered childcare costs before getting pregnant you can GFYS.

Anyway all in all I thoroughly regret posting this; clearly misunderstood what mumsnet is about. Thanks for all the positivity that posting here has attracted, it’s obviously a super supportive community for mums that I definitely will not be returning to any time soon! 👍

Sorry your partner is unwell, I hope it is not a long term thing and that he gets better soon.
If he is not able to work then you are more likely to be eligible for UC (which I mentioned in a previous post).

If you're worried about coping after baby is born, maybe you could see if there is a Home Start near you and contact them - see www.home-start.org.uk/Pages/Category/things-we-can-help-with

Good luck to you.

I wish the government would do more but doesn't seem that's happening any time soon.
What on earth do you expect the government to do in this case? You want to keep your children’s place in the but you don’t want to pay essentially.

If you’ve had a child in nursery since lockdown that’s 2 full years of nursery… surely you’ve realised during that time that you still pay if you take your kid out for a holiday?

OP don’t discount MN entirely. It can be very supportive but I am saddened by the number of posters who feel OPs are fairgame for criticism.
I think the parenting threads are more empathetic.
Best wishes for a good pregnancy.

Everyone hates paying for nursery days they’re not using but unfortunately that is the nature. To stop yourself going mad you have to see it as a fee for the place whether you use it or not. Unless you’ve been very lucky you’ve probably already missed a month through holidays, sickness etc. mumsnet posters will step in to say if they think you’re being unreasonable and here I think you are. It wouldn’t do you any favours if everyone said how vile nursery was etc.