To think we’ve lost sight of what a healthy child’s weight should be?

[Winniethepoohandtiggertoo]

Walking through town today as kids were leaving school and I was quite shocked by the size of them (primary kids). But then I noticed that so many of them were overweight that in a way it isn’t surprising that maybe their parents haven’t noticed or realised there is a problem? When I was little kids were skinny things, now it seems the norm for them to be built like shot-putters! I know a few parents with overweight children but they insist they’re ‘strong’ or ‘solid’, or ‘they run around so much they just burn it off’. When so many kids look like theirs it probably isn’t surprising they think that?

Locking down children over covid fears was so unbelievable detrimental to their physical
and mental health.
Some who were overweight before are seriously overweight or obese now as a result. This will now be a lifelong battle for them and cause a lifetime of issues that will further cost the NHS.
healthy habits (eating and exercise) are formed in childhood, and are very difficult to change once embedded.

I totally agree, so many fat kids now.

Of the fat kids I know (and I feel really sorry for them, it’s not their fault - it’s the parents feeding them after all), the reasons are:

1. mum/dad/grandparents etc do not know how to say “no”. If their DC wants it, they get it.
2. we’re not meant to say “fat” anymore: we’re meant to say “curvy” and talk about body positivity. There’s nothing body positive in my opinion about being fat, it’s really very bad for your health.
3. too many parents delude themselves about what a healthy weight is. Apparently paediatricians say that at eg. 10 years old, you should be able to see a child’s ribs if they raise their arms. But many parents seem to think that a child of this age having rolls of fat and a tummy is normal.

I think being firm about diet just creates food issues in the first place and being relaxed about food and mealtimes is the best way.

I was brought up to always clear your plate, but that just buggers up your natural appetite control systems and is terrible when you can't control what is on your plate, which may be far too much.

My DDs in their mid/late teens now are the right weight for their height and fit, though I have never ever sought to control what they eat at home. There are always crisps and biscuits in the house which they often eat in abundance on top of the balanced meals I try to provide. But they are active and probably need 2,500 calories a day. I can't honestly say what I have done better than other parents who have overweight kids, other than we don't rely on takeaway and ready meals and they have always been active, and I have tried to model a healthy lifestyle and healthy and relaxed attitude to food in what I do and how I talk to them. But there are probably parents who do that and their kids are overweight. There is a lot going on and nutritional messages are often confusing and led by food manufacturers, not nutritional experts.

I live in an affluent (except for me!), very multicultural city and there aren’t that many overweight kids or adults.

Seeing fat kids makes me feel so sad for them - a lifetime of issues brewing - psychologically and physically

I despair at the amount of junk that people feed their kids, having been completely hoodwinked by the whole 'snack and treat' marketing that is so insipid in our culture.

Ran around the football pitch for an hour? You must have a treat (McD's between a meal)

Walked home from school? You must need a snack (Sharing pack of minstrels)

It's your birthday / christmas/ easter / halloween/ someone else's birthday - you must gorge yourself until you feel sick on cheap wanky chocolate

Kids should be skinny and have very low body fat. They should also know what hunger feels like - it is normal to have some hunger, and better for your health. It's like people are panicking if they don't have access to food the moment they feel a twinge of hunger, all reinforced by the idiotic 'hanger' narrative.

The whole thing is a mess.

Completely agree. The handwringing over childhood obesity hides the fact that, as a society, we don't really care about our children or understand how best to help them develop physically and emotionally.

Another example of this is how the "summer of play" movement to help children recover from the effects of Covid never really got off the ground.

My dd was called out of class to see the nurse when she was 11.
The nurse quizzed her about her diet as she was apparently underweight, she implied that we, her parents, were neglecting her.
Fortunately dd is confident and told the nurse that both her parents and brother are slim and she ate plenty of pasta, veg etc.
We only found out when dd told us and we all had a good laugh as dd is known as the trougher and eats v. well.

Yeah. My DC look super thin to me, but they’re actually low-average on the charts. They said, I don’t think they have a particularly healthy diet, they are picky eaters and favour unhealthy snacks. I think if they had bigger appetites it’d be more of a problem.
Generally everyone is bigger now, even the thin people look more well-built than they did in the 70s-80s.

I kind of do think some of it is down to genetics. My dd9 is very skinny and tall ( 91st for height and 30th for weight last time I looked) but eats a fair bit including rubbish she shouldn’t really have. I make sure she has some fruit and veg every day and her multivitamin but beyond that she will have crisps and biscuits. My other dd I think has my genes and is on the 91 st centile for height and weight.

I agree with you. My 2dc are at primary school and a lot of their peers are overweight. Not sure what the answer is though!

A size 12 in the 80s in equivalent to a size 8 in today's sizing.

I have an 18 month old and I worry about this all the time. We eat healthy meals most of the time but my DH is one of those bastards people who just never gain weight despite being a bottomless pit, so when he cooks he makes massive portions and dishes up DD loads. She is still at the throwing most of it on the floor stage so it isn’t an issue but I’ve made a mental note that DH and I need to have a conversation before too long about her portion sizes and how we are going to approach a healthy lifestyle with her.

For me, I find managing my health and weight a real challenge. I’m at the top of a healthy BMI but honestly it depresses me how few calories I need to maintain a healthy weight as I’m a real foodie. I want to eat more! I’d be massive if I ate 2000 calories as is often suggested. I begrudgingly try to stay and top of it, but the constant comments when I refuse another glass of wine or piece of cake really piss me off. No, I’m not on a diet, this is just how my life needs to be to stay healthy. I can see why people struggle with their weight and why this filters down to their kids. It’s a continuous battle to not overeat and im so envious of people who are satisfied with lots of veg and small portions!

Agree completely. I was that teenager size 10-12 though in the 90s and I hated it, because I was a) fattest in the class, b) just felt heavy and uncomfortable. As luck goes, I am still size 10-12 at my hardly towering 176 cm height and people call me slim. I am not slim! I am a stone bigger than ideally should be and have been this way all my life. My weight is “normal” and probably fairly healthy, but this is not slim. My friends and cousins of similar height are slim, not skinny, but they wear size 8-10.

My DC is 8, they're skinny with a bit of belly.

They have an issue with their joints and muscles so they have a tummy even though they're otherwise healthy. So they come back as borderline overweight.

They don't eat sugary snacks regularly, they eat fruit, veg and are active but they still look "chunky".

It's not always as simple as it sounds.

people are getting really big

kids too

It baffles me how kids can get fat, as they are so active they can normally eat anything, right?

my DS1 was teased for being skinny and called Lanky Twat at secondary school. When his biology teacher weighed them all for a Biological study thing, he came home beaming saying he was actually slap bang in the middle of healthy BMI for a teen boy.

Opened my eyes as well, as I am always worried about my kids being too skinny. (Not some kind of weird reverse boast, but DS was a tricky eater and has been on drips a few time)

Am always trying to fatten them up a bit, but part of it must be genetic, they eat all kind of stuff including snacks and pot noodles and crisps. I don't actually know why some people put on weight easily and others don't, there MUST be a genetic component? Or, for us, maybe it 's living in the country and going to secondary school means a half hour walk then half hour bus ride? Just that 1 hr walking a day?

I know life is very difficult atm but not providing adequate exercise is harmful to a child where they get to the point of being obese. I was an overweight child as a result of my parents not tackling it. I was lucky to sort it in adult hood but the consequences affected my whole life. As far as I’m concerned it’s neglect.

When DD was in Year 5, and I was picking her up from school, the Year 8s that year were HUGE! Some were a good head taller than me, and they looked so much older than 12/13 in both their build and the way they were dressed. Some were sized like adults, there's no way on earth age 12-13, or 13-14 clothes would have fitted. Some of the girls would have been at least an adult 12-14. DD is now in Year 8 and she's 5' 4", the same as me, but skinny. She fits adult 4-6. Many of her classmates are similar in size and the Year 8s as a whole this year look a lot smaller than the Year 8s did 3 years ago. There are also a lot of very overweight children in that school.

This is definitely more pronounced in the poorer areas of my town but after lockdown the socioeconomic split in the class was more apparent in my dc year 6 class. Behaviour also declined significantly.

I don’t know why people trot this out as though weight isn’t more a factor of the ultra processed convenience foods we eat nowadays given two parents are usually working and a society that wants us all sitting down staring at screens (or I guess class work) from the age of 4.
And those ultra processed foods have salt, fat and sugar and the brain says thanks I want more…. For the child to spend most of their day sat at a desk.

The sooner we realise the obesity epidemic is less about our ‘willpower’ and more our environment the sooner we will find solutions for it all.

Really sick of fat shaming, parent shaming etc etc. When the government backtrack on the junk food legislation and everyone’s sitting at desks.

Other parents reassure parents of overweight kids, that their kids are not overweight when they very clearly are.

My DS was always a solid baby, high on the percentile but followed the curve. Sometimes he can eat for Wales and puts on weight, next he’s grown an inch and a half in height, leaned out and his appetite has all but disappeared.
I don’t put much stock on BMI, it’s out dated and too simplistic. My Niece is 5’3”, size 10- 12 and she is 11.5 stone which would make her Obese, but she is a power lifter so carries a lot of muscle.

YANBU. My DC weight crept up in lockdown. This was despite our daily walks. I think it's because there was more opportunity to snack too.

DS has SEN and struggles with recognising his full signals. It can be a struggle to know when he's actually hungry and when he's actually just eating for the sake of eating.

I've been fat. I've been slim. No way do I want my children to know the burden that is obesity. It's shit.

Of course you're right OP. But it's not just kids.

I live in an affluent area, commuter belt. It's not like that here, people are, on the whole not fat. But when I travel further afield I'm shocked at how fat people are elsewhere. It's not hard to deduce that this is a poorer person's problem. Wealthy people aren't experiencing this issue. It is pretty obvious that this is in part down to education but mainly shit living standards. Being poor in the UK is rubbish. It's miserable and people reach for shit food or booze to make them feel better.

Plus you can buy a packet of biscuits for 45p but 6 apples is £1.30.

With everything that's going on and don't think this is going to get any better soon.

Agree with you OP.

My eldest is 14, 5 foot 2 and 8 stone, i constantly get told how skinny she is. She isn't, she's averaged sized and in the 86th percentile.

I also have a toddler and am amazed at the amount of children her age who constantly graze or have huge portions.

processed and convenience foods have become the norm.

regular snacking has become the norm.

less accessible fresh unprocessed foods take more effort.
larger portion sizes.
less opportunity to exercise as adult carers working long hours.
less onus on extended outdoor daily activity.

obviously the issue is so much more complex than those quick points I made. It's a very sorry state of affairs.