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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

SIL visiting with cats?

118 replies

Lollipalooza · 31/01/2023 15:34

Not sure if IBU to worry about SIL visiting with cats? Opinions please!

SIL is coming Friday for the weekend to visit our newborn DD (3 weeks old). First baby in the family on DH's side.

We're not close at all, but she's making a big effort to drive up to visit so excited for her to meet DD.

The only thing is, she's planning to bring her two cats along for the weekend.

I have no experience with cats whatsoever and not sure if bringing them around a new baby would be a disaster? All the information online is about preparing your own cats for the arrival of baby and getting them used to the idea/smell/sounds, but these cats won't have time to adjust at all. I worry they could respond badly to crying and go for her (I know, unlikely we'll take our eyes off her!).

DH not worried at all when I asked him about it.

WIBU to ask her not to bring them? I worry this will mean she can't come at all. For context, we recently moved cross-country to be closer to my family and away from DH's, and he's been feeling sad that they are missing out on seeing DD so I don't want to prevent this visit or upset DH/SIL, and I could be worrying over nothing.

OP posts:

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 31/01/2023 19:17

You also want to make sure the cats are up to date on flea & worming treatments so they aren’t at risk of bringing parasites into your home.

FourFour · 31/01/2023 19:23

CalistoNoSolo · 31/01/2023 16:15

Can't stand cats so it would be a resounding no from me. The cats will probably piss everywhere, which stinks to high heaven, and scratch chunks out of your soft furnishings.

They also shed and can be riddled with fleas and worms. People say cats are clean, they are not.

I feel the exact same. I have a new baby and wouldn't allow this, then again I don't know anyone who would do this.

Pearfacebanana · 31/01/2023 19:30

No. I have well behaved cats who will travel. BUT when I had kids I sent them to live at my mums for 6 weeks cos they are attention demanding and I didn't want the hassle. I also was paranoid about one of them sitting on the baby (they never did). They may be well behaved or they may be a nightmare. You don't need that shit right now.

turnipash · 31/01/2023 20:11

They should be In catty day care. How ridiculous to bring two cats for the weekend

TerfOnATrain · 31/01/2023 20:19

Cat owner 35 years here, she is massively unreasonable. It’s stressful for them and what if someone inadvertently lets them out and they disappear.

Snugglemonkey · 31/01/2023 20:56

Poor cat! But also no, noone can bring pets here.

GettingItOutThere · 31/01/2023 21:28

is she on fucking glue?

batshit idea! They might piss up your walls and scratch your furniture!! tell her no and get a cat sitter -insaine!!

AegonT · 31/01/2023 21:37

Your baby will be fine with cats. They'll probably just want to sniff her and sit on her things. Our cats loved the play mat and bouncy chair. Don't leave them alone together and shut them out of the bedroom she sleeps in.

This does sound very stressful for the cats though. Cars like their familiar surroundings, belongings and smells. Stress can cause toilet issues and scratching furniture/carpet. What if they got out of your house? They could get lost; that would be awful.

Mariposa26 · 31/01/2023 21:41

As others have said, the baby will be fine as the cats will be so miserable they are likely to ignore it and hide the whole time. I have no idea why anyone would do this! Poor cats.

ThinWomansBrain · 31/01/2023 21:48

my cat travels well, and comes away with me, not perturbed by being in new places - but if staying with friends I ask first.
lI don't think she'd like a squally baby though

TheGoogleMum · 31/01/2023 21:53

It's really unusual to take cats away with you. How strange! The cats probably won't like being somewhere new and unfamiliar.

Eastereggsboxedupready · 01/02/2023 07:31

Is sil reinforcing that she has the first dgc??!!

thewinterwitch · 01/02/2023 07:44

I'm reassured there would be no physical danger to DD

Nobody can say that! Cats have been known to get into cots and suffocate babies. People say it's an urban myth, however:

www.thesun.co.uk/news/7232699/pet-cat-suffocates-baby-death-sleeping-pram/

www.researchgate.net/publication/16388009_Can_a_cat_smother_and_kill_a_baby

You also have no way of knowing if your baby is allergic to cats, in which case that could be quite serious if her breathing is affected. Your visitor is being unreasonable and should put her cats in a cattery or get a friend to catsit/drop in and refresh their food and water.

Original poster

Lollipalooza · 01/02/2023 10:44

Panic over - she's not coming any longer. Has a birthday party she forgot about...

Says it all really! Never mind.

OP posts:

IheardYouButDontWantToAnswer · 01/02/2023 10:45

I had several cats, over 42 years. Cats prefer to stay in their own surroundings. Your relative needs to get a cat-sitter.

Silvers11 · 01/02/2023 11:46

@Lollipalooza - glad she isn't coming now. Hopefully, before she plans on doing this again you can have a discussion with her about NOT bringing the cats with her.

I have been a cat owner for many years and I would never dream of taking them with us. Leave my current one overnight with a timed cat food tray to open at specified times. If longer than 30 hours or so, put him into a cattery. Have in the past had a neighbour to come in and feed them twice a day which is the best option if it is available as Cats don't like their routine being disturbed.

LookItsMeAgain · 01/02/2023 12:44

That's a relief!

Thinking about it, it's good to have good boundaries in place for the next time she comes up with a bright idea for a visit. Get in there first with the "Oh, that'll be great and you'll be putting the cats in a cattery for the duration of your visit as we don't allow pets to visit. Can't wait to see you though" type of conversation.

GCMM · 01/02/2023 12:58

If she wants to rearrange her visit, just say no to the cats. Nobody, but nobody, takes their cats with them when they visit other people. It's ridiculous and unfair to the animals and hosts. Cats can fare perfectly well on their own overnight, providing you put down plenty of food and water and they have a cat flap. Whenever we've left ours overnight , they are sleeping peacefully on our return and have rarely eaten even half of what we left them.

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