Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL visiting with cats?

118 replies

Lollipalooza · 31/01/2023 15:34

Not sure if IBU to worry about SIL visiting with cats? Opinions please!

SIL is coming Friday for the weekend to visit our newborn DD (3 weeks old). First baby in the family on DH's side.

We're not close at all, but she's making a big effort to drive up to visit so excited for her to meet DD.

The only thing is, she's planning to bring her two cats along for the weekend.

I have no experience with cats whatsoever and not sure if bringing them around a new baby would be a disaster? All the information online is about preparing your own cats for the arrival of baby and getting them used to the idea/smell/sounds, but these cats won't have time to adjust at all. I worry they could respond badly to crying and go for her (I know, unlikely we'll take our eyes off her!).

DH not worried at all when I asked him about it.

WIBU to ask her not to bring them? I worry this will mean she can't come at all. For context, we recently moved cross-country to be closer to my family and away from DH's, and he's been feeling sad that they are missing out on seeing DD so I don't want to prevent this visit or upset DH/SIL, and I could be worrying over nothing.

OP posts:
Oodlesofdoodlescockapoodles · 31/01/2023 16:00

I think the cats would find it very stressful. Aside from that, stressed cats can urinate inside, or they might scratch furniture etc. I wouldn't worry about the baby but i woild worry about your house!

Eastereggsboxedupready · 31/01/2023 16:00

Have you a printer op? For the LOST CATS posters you will be making this week end when they get out....
Dcat meeting the baby is the least of your worries imo.

WonderingWanda · 31/01/2023 16:01

This is baffling to me. I love cats and dogs. I have a cat but they idea that you would take your pet to someone else's house when you go to stay is unacceptable. And with cats it's even more odd, they don't like change, they could get out and get lost or run off, they hate being in the car. Plus, as much as I love my own cat if I didn't own one I wouldn't want their cat hair, litter tray and stinky cat food in my home. Say no to the cats. "I'm sorry sil we are excited to see you but really don't want your cats coming to stay".

GloomyDarkness · 31/01/2023 16:02

The cat and baby not really an issue - escaping, hiding and attacking passing ankles and urine spraying would be my worries.

Are you sure she is traveling with them and you haven't just misunderstood?

Noshowlomo · 31/01/2023 16:03

Oh god no. I love cats, I have two and whenever we have moved house (twice) they have sprayed/peed everywhere to mark their scent or because of stress? I spent ages in my new house finding random sprays of cat pee on the lovely white walls. It’s a ridiculous idea !

CalistoNoSolo · 31/01/2023 16:09

Can't stand cats so it would be a resounding no from me. The cats will probably piss everywhere, which stinks to high heaven, and scratch chunks out of your soft furnishings.

They also shed and can be riddled with fleas and worms. People sat cats are clean, they are not.

afinishedkiss · 31/01/2023 16:09

I don't know what people do be thinking at all. This is just plain stupid. The poor cats!

heldinadream · 31/01/2023 16:09

Completely insane. You have a new baby. Cats - 99.99% of them - HATE travelling and being displaced. They are going to be distressed and hiding and shitting and peeing under your sofa because they're scared.
JUST what you need with a new baby. This has to be a hard no OP.
Congratulations on your DD and trust your instincts re the cats, they are obviously sound!

afinishedkiss · 31/01/2023 16:09

Eastereggsboxedupready · 31/01/2023 16:00

Have you a printer op? For the LOST CATS posters you will be making this week end when they get out....
Dcat meeting the baby is the least of your worries imo.

😂

WetBandits · 31/01/2023 16:12

Baby will be absolutely fine.

As for the cats, it depends on the cats. My mum’s cat is very portable and is happy to travel and spend time wherever so he goes off visiting with her. My own cats, however, would be livid if they were taken visiting anywhere!

Cats are pretty easy to get sitters for as they don’t need nearly as much constant supervision as a dog might, doesn’t she have neighbours or friends who could pop in and feed them while she’s with you?

fantasmasgoria1 · 31/01/2023 16:14

I assume the cats are used to travelling if she is considering this. I would not be phased by this. Cats will not harm your child.

WetBandits · 31/01/2023 16:14

WetBandits · 31/01/2023 16:12

Baby will be absolutely fine.

As for the cats, it depends on the cats. My mum’s cat is very portable and is happy to travel and spend time wherever so he goes off visiting with her. My own cats, however, would be livid if they were taken visiting anywhere!

Cats are pretty easy to get sitters for as they don’t need nearly as much constant supervision as a dog might, doesn’t she have neighbours or friends who could pop in and feed them while she’s with you?

Just to add that my mum’s DCat is only taken visiting when he is expressly invited by whoever she is going to see Grin she doesn’t just cart him around wherever she goes!

CalistoNoSolo · 31/01/2023 16:15

Can't stand cats so it would be a resounding no from me. The cats will probably piss everywhere, which stinks to high heaven, and scratch chunks out of your soft furnishings.

They also shed and can be riddled with fleas and worms. People say cats are clean, they are not.

Dozycuntlaters · 31/01/2023 16:16

Baby will be fine, the cats will hate it. And will probably wee in your house, and the smell of cat pee is dreadful to get rid of. It would be a no from me.

icefishing · 31/01/2023 16:17

We used to have a cat who was fine traveling but it isn't the norm.
Cats won't be a risk to the baby though.

Dozycuntlaters · 31/01/2023 16:18

@CalistoNoSolo They also shed and can be riddled with fleas and worms. People say cats are clean, they are not

Cats are clean.... and are only riddled with fleas and worms if their owners never flea and worm them.

Summerhouse2013 · 31/01/2023 16:19

Hoppinggreen · 31/01/2023 15:37

I have cats, I love my cats.
Which is why I know how much they would hate being taken to someone else’s house. They won’t harm your baby because they will spend the whole time terrified under the sofa or similar.
Plus you don’t take any uninvited animal to someone’s house

Totally agree with this comment! Why can't she get a friend to feed them or put them in a cattery for a few days? Cats take weeks to adapt to a new home/surroundings, if she loved her cats why would she even contemplate this idea??

ArightFruityLoaf · 31/01/2023 16:20

No way. No, I wouldn't entertain cats in my house, let alone around my newborn.

If i wanted a cat in my home I would get one myself.

BMXsummoner · 31/01/2023 16:21

Is your SIL Gayle from Bob’s Burgers? Is one of the cat’s name Mr Business??

Moanycowbag · 31/01/2023 16:24

Dozycuntlaters · 31/01/2023 16:18

@CalistoNoSolo They also shed and can be riddled with fleas and worms. People say cats are clean, they are not

Cats are clean.... and are only riddled with fleas and worms if their owners never flea and worm them.

I never de-flea or worm my cat and she is not infested nor riddled, but she is a very pampered indoor cat, but can't deny that she sheds hair everywhere.

Catingle · 31/01/2023 16:26

It sounds mad on the face of it but I guess your SIL knows her cats and if they travel well. I would ask her some more questions.

We used to have a cat who came on holiday with us in the UK and to visit family. She had a chronic illness which required medicine twice a day and it was often easier to take her with us than it was to arrange care for her at home. She was the most laid back cat ever, was completely happy travelling, never scratched furniture or sprayed. She was also absolutely unfazed by the arrival of our children (I still miss her, she was the loveliest cat).

Other cats I wouldn’t have dreamt of moving about.

I wouldn’t worry about the baby though, the baby will be fine!

OoooohMatron · 31/01/2023 16:27

As others have said, you don't need to worry about them harming your baby but the cats will be terrified! What on earth is she thinking!

TravellingJack · 31/01/2023 16:29

I assume SIL thinks you have no soft furnishings/fabric/carpets at all, as unless the cats are declawed, everything will have pulls or rips in by the end of the visit! And probably anything you're wearing, if they even let you get near enough.

What's the litter tray plan? Or are they going to go outside where they'll get lost and shit in your or your neighbour's garden?

No concerns about cats around a baby, the most likely issue is that they claim the cot/blanket/changing mat as their own...

qazxc · 31/01/2023 16:30

Travelling with cats us strange. Most cats hate travel and take ages to acclimatise to new house( longer than her stay).
If she is only coming for 2 days, she can leave them at home with adequate food and water.

helpfulperson · 31/01/2023 16:31

My cats would be fine with this but they would be staying in the room where I slept and not having access to the rest of the house. They have stayed various places like this.

But if you aren't happy then just say it isn't possible