Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL visiting with cats?

118 replies

Lollipalooza · 31/01/2023 15:34

Not sure if IBU to worry about SIL visiting with cats? Opinions please!

SIL is coming Friday for the weekend to visit our newborn DD (3 weeks old). First baby in the family on DH's side.

We're not close at all, but she's making a big effort to drive up to visit so excited for her to meet DD.

The only thing is, she's planning to bring her two cats along for the weekend.

I have no experience with cats whatsoever and not sure if bringing them around a new baby would be a disaster? All the information online is about preparing your own cats for the arrival of baby and getting them used to the idea/smell/sounds, but these cats won't have time to adjust at all. I worry they could respond badly to crying and go for her (I know, unlikely we'll take our eyes off her!).

DH not worried at all when I asked him about it.

WIBU to ask her not to bring them? I worry this will mean she can't come at all. For context, we recently moved cross-country to be closer to my family and away from DH's, and he's been feeling sad that they are missing out on seeing DD so I don't want to prevent this visit or upset DH/SIL, and I could be worrying over nothing.

OP posts:
corcaithecat · 31/01/2023 16:31

Nope, SIL is clearly bonkers. She needs to organise a cattery or a pet sitter.

Don’t be pushed into agreeing to something you don’t agree with, especially as you have a young baby.

Pollyputthekettleonha · 31/01/2023 16:34

A lot of cats hate being in the car and being in unfamiliar surroundings. Unless they are used to travelling I wouldn't agree to this as they will be miserable. They won't hurt your baby though, they will probably hide under your sofa all weekend because they're scared. Some posters have examples of cats that travel okay, but this is rare, I've never come across cats like this to be honest. Kinder to them to have a neighbor or pet sitter go over and feed them.

notangelinajolie · 31/01/2023 16:34

Taking cats away for the weekend is weird and a bit cruel. I have a cat and she would hate it. Nor would she (or I) like having a strange cat come to visit. Mine goes mental if she spots another cat miles away from her spot on the window sill - never mind one in her home. She would literally kill it.
And then there is the litter tray issue - I'm presuming she won't be letting her cat out so will be bringing one with her.

I wouldn't be happy with stinky cat poo smell around my lovely new born baby.

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 31/01/2023 16:35

God know
Tell her to put them in a battery or get a cat sitter
Fleas??
I mean it's just a crazy idea
Just no

Alexandernevermind · 31/01/2023 16:36

No, about 20% of the cats I see have fleas, plus jumping on work tops, plus disgusting litter trays. Tell your bonkers sil that you are worried about the (old wives tale) that babies can be smothered by cats sleeping on their faces. Also, isn't it a shame but you have suddenly developed a cat allergy.

PoseyFlump · 31/01/2023 16:36

put them in a battery

Bit harsh.

Catingle · 31/01/2023 16:37

TravellingJack · 31/01/2023 16:29

I assume SIL thinks you have no soft furnishings/fabric/carpets at all, as unless the cats are declawed, everything will have pulls or rips in by the end of the visit! And probably anything you're wearing, if they even let you get near enough.

What's the litter tray plan? Or are they going to go outside where they'll get lost and shit in your or your neighbour's garden?

No concerns about cats around a baby, the most likely issue is that they claim the cot/blanket/changing mat as their own...

Amazingly lots of people have cats and don’t have furniture that’s torn to shreds. My cats are scratching post trained and leave our furniture alone.

I’ve also never had cat that didn’t use a litter box completely reliably, even when moving house etc.

in my experience in two days the worst that will happen is they’ll leave a bit of cat hair behind.

Caterina99 · 31/01/2023 16:38

Cat owner and lover here and this is mental.

JadeSeahorse · 31/01/2023 16:39

I absolutely adore cats but wouldn't be so quick to brush over 2 unknowns arriving at your home. Different breeds behave differently!

Are they pedigrees? If so and if they are Bengals it would be a definite no from me as they can go on demolition zone.

I used to have Cornish Rex neutered show cats. One in particular would hiss like a snake if anyone came within 10 feet of him who he didn't like. (Was as good as gold for the show judges though 🤣). I also had a huge Persian who was VERY protective of me and didn't like sharing me at all. Many breeds can wreck your furniture if you don't have a scratching post they are familiar with. Also, as a pp suggested, some cats will want to place their scent everywhere and especially if they are unfamiliar with their surroundings.

To just state she is bringing her cats is not only bonkers, not considering the cats' welfare at all but also the height of rudeness.

I honestly feel you need to ask many more questions about these particular cats before agreeing to an overnight visit.

Hbh17 · 31/01/2023 16:40

I don't have a baby, but I still wouldn't allow anyone to bring their cats to my house. She can use a cattery, like a sensible person.

DaveyJonesLocker · 31/01/2023 16:41

Where are they going to stay? What if they get out the house? Unless they're frequent travellers I'd absolutely say no. Its not hard to get someone to feed cats.

Cath667 · 31/01/2023 16:47

gogohmm · 31/01/2023 15:57

Never heard of anybody bringing cats! We leave dcat at home if we head somewhere for the weekend, just put out plenty of food and water, she has a cat flap. Ddog comes with us though, he loves a weekend away, visiting people etc, particularly seems to like revolving doors in hotels for some reason Confused

Don't ever tell your dog the story of Tatler Alan! (Google it)

Catingle · 31/01/2023 16:47

Pollyputthekettleonha · 31/01/2023 16:34

A lot of cats hate being in the car and being in unfamiliar surroundings. Unless they are used to travelling I wouldn't agree to this as they will be miserable. They won't hurt your baby though, they will probably hide under your sofa all weekend because they're scared. Some posters have examples of cats that travel okay, but this is rare, I've never come across cats like this to be honest. Kinder to them to have a neighbor or pet sitter go over and feed them.

It’s pretty rare for cats to travel but also pretty rare for people to ask to bring their cats with them. Fairly likely that the rare people who ask to bring their cats have the rare type of cats who are happy to travel (because otherwise, why would you think it a good idea). OP will only know if she asks SIL if her cats regularly travel with her.

OP mostly seemed worried about the impact on the baby, and really that’s not a concern. Over a couple of day you’re not going to be leaving cats and babies unattended together. And any cat that’s happy to travel isn’t likely to be bothered by a baby. Research shows that exposure to pets in early childhood reduces allergies and improves immunity so if anything SIL will be doing the baby a favour!

Ponderingwindow · 31/01/2023 16:47

The cats are unlikely to pose any threat to the baby.

your SIL is still being completely unreasonable.

the cats are being put through unnecessary stress. Cats rarely enjoy travel and are unlikely to be immediately comfortable in a new space.

bringing animals into someone else’s home is just rude.

Calphurnia88 · 31/01/2023 16:47

YANBU.

I find it selfish/entitled when people assume they can bring their pets into other people's homes. And that's without adding a newborn into the mix.

MargaritaRita · 31/01/2023 16:49

SIL might be envious of your new baby, so is bringing her two furry ones along to balance things out!

I'd say a firm no and mean it. Cats don't take to new surroundings all that well. Too much attention will be given to cats, etc.

Krakenes · 31/01/2023 16:51

I’d definitely be more concerned for the cats than the baby!

crosspusscrossstitcher · 31/01/2023 17:02

My cats would kill me and eat me before they'd let me drive them to some strange house with strange smells and even stranger small noisy humans.

Original poster
Lollipalooza · 31/01/2023 17:10

Thanks all for your comments!

I'm reassured there would be no physical danger to DD - not thrilled by the thought of her stuff (or our new house furniture) getting jumped on, scratched, peed on or left covered in hair by two hysterical cats though!

I don't know anything about the cats - whether they travel well, or what they'll be travelling with, or where they will sleep/eat/litter etc. Will ask DH again if he has considered any of this - I did ask when it was first suggested and just got "it will be fine!" back, which is not good enough frankly! He's not particularly practical though and probably just thought I was worried about baby's safety - I was, but I was also worried about the logistics.

OP posts:
GracieLouFreeebush · 31/01/2023 17:12

When I moved house my cat pissed everywhere. I’ve changed all of the carpets and still get the odd whiff of it.

marshmallowcakes · 31/01/2023 17:14

Where are they going to do their business?

PortiasBiscuit · 31/01/2023 17:16

Lock the cats in one room with their food and a litter tray. There is no question of them rampaging through the house or coming anywhere near the baby.
However it is a very odd way to behave, we have 5 cats and I can’t see any one of them being accepting of being ferried about like this.. except maybe our Ragdoll, he is very laid back.
She should leave them at home and hire a cat sitter.

Masterofcats · 31/01/2023 17:18

Poor cats. most cats would hate to go visiting like that. I assume they will stay in the spare room ( probably cowering under a bed). I doubt they will be any harm to your baby but honestly don't see the point of her bringing them. cat sitter, cattery or even electronic feeder if only for a couple of nights all seem a better and kinder option to both cats and you.

Dashel · 31/01/2023 17:20

My cat has moved house three times and she has never had an accident and is not destructive at all, so I think accidents and damage would be dependent on the individual cats.

If she is definitely going to bring the cats I would get a large plastic sheet to put litter trays on and ask her what she is bringing for them.

I love cats and there is no way I would drag my cat on a road trip and to a strange house for her sake, she would hate it and be terrified. Depending on how brave the cats are they might spend the entire time hiding. Your dc will be fine but the poor cats.

titchy · 31/01/2023 17:21

Bloody hell - the entire point of cats is that you don't have to take them with you! Has she got confused with dogs?