Who takes the burnt food or ends in your house?

[Skyofplanets]

In your family who takes the less desirable bits of food?

I'm talking about things like if you have portions of lasagne and one fell apart, the bit of toast that is slightly too dark, or the end of the garlic bread, the sausage that split or the fillet that got a bit stuck to the pan what ever means that while all are completely edible one is slightly worse.

I once read something (which I can't find now!) about that women, in particular mothers have a tendency to give themselves the less desirable portion as part of their sacrifice to the family. I think it called it pigeon toast, in that the toast that might used to be fed to the pigeons because its caught, then becomes the mothers when they have children as she's too rushed to cook a new slice. It also said there's differences I'n culture's about if the children get given the broken food signifying that they are expected to come second to parents, or if they are given the better bits because of the feeling around providing being a parents job.

It popped up in my head when
I noticed my completely lovely DP, will serve himself the better portion. We both try and even it up eg. If there's 2 naff bits, then we will get one each, but if there's a third then dp will take it. I gently teased him about it, and he said that it was a reward for cooking. I realised that completely subconsciously I would always give him the better bit.

Obviously it's not a major issue in my life, however I've noticed this in other people. For example when BLW I've watched lots of friends have chose the meals they've had in restaurants based on if the baby could have some and while not picking something they hate often picking a second choice while the dad tends to just pick what he'd like off the menu

What does this look like in your family?

I do because it’s preferable to a whinge.

OH does most of the cooking and is an excellent cook. Neither of us would serve up really badly overdone food but who gets what depends on what's being cooked.

If he doesva pot roast then he likes the end bits which is annoying as I like them as well (he does share though). He gets annoyed if I sneak in when he's not looking and take all the crispy skin of the chicken. We both like the skin on the rice pudding, crusts are used for soaking up gravy or soup.

Generally if its ends or off cuts they just get eaten by either of us, no set rule, badly cooked binned.

Me, always. It's just a habit. My own mum did the same, always gave everyone else the best bits.
Also better than hearing whinging.

Hmmm, I had to really think about this one!

I always give my DH the bigger portion, because he has a bigger appetite than me. He likes his food cooked normally, whereas I prefer mine crispy/ a little burnt so I’d always give me the more burnt bits. If something had happened to something that made it less desirable (E.g. I flipped the egg over and it landed on the hob rather than the pan and looked a bit smushed) I’d take it because I was the one who caused it to look like that. Likewise, if he made a mistake whilst cooking I’d expect him to have the consequence piece 😁

Mostly I think the person who has cooked gets first choice on what they want. In our household, that’s a pretty even split.

Depends how much they've pissed me off that day.

whoever likes & wants them.
otherwise they go in the bin.

My mum is the classic "no need martyr" who will sacrifice herself when nobody asked her to.
We'd go to a restaurant as a treat and everyone would order whatever they wanted (think communist block country mid-80s so no lobster or champagne) but she'd still make a point of choosing the cheapest thing, drink water and ruin the whole evening with her "I don't deserve nice things" attitude.

So no. I was never gonna be the burnt toast martyr.
And at home I'm like Joey, I don't share food. (When out & about or trying new stuff I don't mind)
But we don't do food dramas and nobody has to take the worst bit.

I have never given this much thought before but I do the exact same as you OP!!
DH getting the dreggs tonight so!

I remember that book & her promoting it - not read it though.
(Big fan of Desperate Housewives, I rewatch it every year!

99% of the time I am cooking and serving so I give myself the best bits! I give DH a bigger portion as he eats more than me so swings and roundabouts.

I don't think there are ever any 'bad' parts of the meals through, most items are served up by preference i.e. DD really likes an unbroken egg yolk whereas DH and I don't mind either way. DH likes crispy food, DD and I like food less well done etc.

I do almost zero cooking in our house but it’s pretty much all served up in the middle of the island and we all help ourselves so really no way of telling. However dh will definitely be eatings bits as and when he cooks so most likely that he will have some of the good stuff - as well he should! He literally spends hours in the kitchen every night making sure we eat really varied and interesting meals - I wouldn’t begrudge him the best bits ever, it means I don’t have to cook which is great because I fucking hate cooking.

Like others have said, my DH is the family food bin. He gets all the dregs and end bits, he doesn't care.

Burnt toast?
Use a toaster, find a setting you're happy with and leave it at that.

DH always gives me and DD the best bits. We tend to put everything in the middle of the table so he he will just put it on his plate. if I get there first I’ll take it.

It's me because I like the burnt bits and the crusty ends

Me too. 😆

But I would be upset if I always ended having the crappy bits by default

The cook...it's the perk. Fortunately my DH isn't as keen on the crispy, lovely, stuck on bits as I am, so I get them both ways....

I do probably about 90% of the cooking, because I like it (OH does the washing up and kitchen maintenance).

He likes the burnt bits (weirdo), so I serve them to him or, if he's dishing up, he'll naturally take them.

If he's dishing out takeaway or whatever, he'll serve me the 'nice' bits because a) he's a nice guy and b) he likes the ends.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba grab a copy it's a very good read. You can pick a 2nd hand copy for a couple of quid on Amazon

DP gets the burnt bits because he doesn’t mind what gets shovelled into him but I’d rather not eat than eat burnt chips. But I’ll take the smaller “thing” (chicken breast, steak, Kiev etc) and the fewest nuggets but he eats more anyway.

Teri Hatcher wrote a book- sort autobiographical of musings on life - called Burnt Toast, on exactly this topic.

DP always offers to take the burnt bits 🥲 but if something just looks a bit mangled but is otherwise fine, I’ll have that.

We usually meal plan around what our youngest eats as she is fussy but now she's decided she's vegetarian so we can actually eat stuff everyone else enjoys and she gets a separate meal. When it comes to burnt ends etc,usually my partner takes that bit but that is because he likes burnt food ....he's weird that way 😂

DH gets the overdone/burnt bits mainly. Unless it's something I particularly fancy

He also gets anything that may have had an "oops" moment and not landed on the plate.

Why do men seem to like burnt food so much :D DH likes his bacon incinerated, and it seems he is not alone!

I actually prefer most things slightly burnt/overdone and am really bothered by them being underdone, whereas DH doesn't like burnt and isn't bothered if it's underdone, so we tend towards me getting the more burnt bits and/or him getting the slightly underdone bits, whichever one of us cooks. Unless it's completely black, I'll usually eat it happily.

I do serve myself the best otherwise

Yes, when BLW I would choose food based on what the baby could eat - I think DH does too, though actually he is more likely to want to bring a jar to feed the baby, or order something for the baby like a side portion of chips.

I think both me and my partner do it when we're cooking. For both of us, it's probably more of an apology that dinner might not quite be up to the other person's standards. I would always give him better bits, excluding DS who would get the best, then I'll take the rest. He tends to the same for me too.