Who takes the burnt food or ends in your house?

[Skyofplanets]

In your family who takes the less desirable bits of food?

I'm talking about things like if you have portions of lasagne and one fell apart, the bit of toast that is slightly too dark, or the end of the garlic bread, the sausage that split or the fillet that got a bit stuck to the pan what ever means that while all are completely edible one is slightly worse.

I once read something (which I can't find now!) about that women, in particular mothers have a tendency to give themselves the less desirable portion as part of their sacrifice to the family. I think it called it pigeon toast, in that the toast that might used to be fed to the pigeons because its caught, then becomes the mothers when they have children as she's too rushed to cook a new slice. It also said there's differences I'n culture's about if the children get given the broken food signifying that they are expected to come second to parents, or if they are given the better bits because of the feeling around providing being a parents job.

It popped up in my head when
I noticed my completely lovely DP, will serve himself the better portion. We both try and even it up eg. If there's 2 naff bits, then we will get one each, but if there's a third then dp will take it. I gently teased him about it, and he said that it was a reward for cooking. I realised that completely subconsciously I would always give him the better bit.

Obviously it's not a major issue in my life, however I've noticed this in other people. For example when BLW I've watched lots of friends have chose the meals they've had in restaurants based on if the baby could have some and while not picking something they hate often picking a second choice while the dad tends to just pick what he'd like off the menu

What does this look like in your family?

I think people mean when the kids are at the stage where they are on solids but not really eating full meals - i.e. 6-18 months

My DH hates sharing his food - he hates that when we have crisps with our lunches, the kids are always after his cheese and onion, not my sweet chilli flavour!

If I'm doing a big roast dinner then I will absolutely get the "kitchen serving" Of the best outer bits of meat that are perfectly browned. Then I'll dip it in the gravy and whack it in a yorky while the veg is cooking. Chefs privilege! If I'm doing chips, I like the smaller crispier ones and my DH likes the bigger. An over fried egg will go to my DP as he likes them. If I am serving to my kids or friends then yes I will take the smaller /wonky portion as I'm the cook and part of being a great host is seeing to your visitors needs.... nobody leaves this house hungry. I do give my DH larger portions of most things but he's out at work 12 hours a day and is 6 inches taker than me. He knows that some things I'll get the bigger pieces. Like pudding 😁

DH does most of the cooking and just wouldn't serve up any bad bits! So no one eats them.
He wouldn't think about the kids when ordering food though and has sulked a bit when I have refused to go in somewhere that had nothing the kids would eat but he wanted to go to. He's quite selfish around food in that way, very poor at compromise!

I don’t like to cause food to be thrown away, nothing about saving money. Kids menus are often portions for older kids. In some places it’s less wasteful to share with toddlers and small kids and you can give them tastes of more new things. I’m not going to gamble on ordering a whole plate of ceviche or a curry for a four year old who’s never tried it, but I might order it for myself because I think there’s a pretty high chance he’ll eat some. Doesn’t mean you can’t order extra sides or starters or dessert if someone’s still hungry.

Depends, we don't usually have burnt food, but if I'm dishing up lasagna, quiche, pie etc and the first slice falls apart (often) I take it, it's perfectly nice food just pre cut up

I agree with pp who pointed out about burnt food having carcinogens…. look it up if you don’t know the consequences of consuming burnt food… not even my ever greedy dog would get burnt food from either of us.

aside from that, it tends that be that server has the less appealing portion, and when he’s serving me, he not only gives me the “nicer” portion, but he’ll go out of his way to make my food look (as well as taste) scrumptious.

I’m guilty of just serving up plainly, as I get over anxious about serving up food that’s less than piping hot… in my head faffing about equals cooler servings.

Dp takes crusts out of choice so no issues there

It never occurred to me to order something my baby would eat when he was weaning. I just ordered him his own food. Or took an Ella's kitchen with me in the early days.

As for the rest of it, it's not something I've ever thought about. My husband and I just eat whatever is there, in whatever state it is in and share equally!

I do this. I do 90% of cooking and always give myself the 'worst' bits. I just assumed it was polite i suppose

Mine is 2.5 but will always rather eat of mine or dad's plate, whether we're home or out.

The last place we ordered from the kids menu - the portion size (and the plate) was actually bigger than both of our adult portions!!!

I love the underneath of cooked chickens

I've never been anywhere that has large kids portions, I always order my 1 year old and 6 year old their own kids meals. Some places even have little plates and big plates for little or big kids (great idea) but no way would I be sharing my meal.

We give each other best bits.

I’ll eat the burnt toast rather than have to clean up DH’s scraped burnt from a 3m blast radius around the bin.
I’ll eat the overdone chips and the bread crust rather than listen to DH complaining about them.
But on the rare occasion one of us produces a completely inedible dinner I’m the first to suggest binning it off in favour of toast/big pudding/takeaway, so I hope I’m not a complete martyr.

My parents had been married for 50+ years before I made a joke that if an egg yolk broke when my mum was frying eggs that it then became his.

He's always accepted my mum shouting from the Kitchen, "Sorry DH it's your egg that's broken again".

I just don't make food with bad bits

There's only 2 of us and if I fucked up cooking something so badly that there was a penalty involved in eating it I would cook something else. If it's just a presentation issue then neither of us are fussed. I also don't make that much stuff that's prone to uneven cooking thinking about it.

If I bought some meat and it turned out some was tough and some was tender I'd give the tender bits to OH because it's the difference between eating it or not for her.

I normally serve our food about 60:40 split but I buy meat or fish portions to be the same size, so it'll be carbs that make up the difference in bulk

Me but that's because I love the edges of lasagna burnt sausage burnt toast ect 🤣

Only if you eat a truly ridiculous amount that nobody ever would.

A very good book by Teri Hatcher called Burnt Toast: And Other Philosophies of Life talks about this. Since reading it I've stopped doing this and now realise life is to short for burnt toast and to treat myself as I treat others.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/causes-of-cancer/cancer-myths/can-eating-burnt-foods-cause-cancer

I like the burnt bits and butt ends.

Me or dh. I always plate up so vary it. Ie burnt end lasagne dh. Burntor over brown sausage me as i love them
But the garlic bread ends my teen loves them and no one else does so that works well.

I always give the kids and DH the best bits. My grandma (who did all the cooking when I was growing up) did the same, so it's kind of ingrained in me.

I like most things slightly over done, with the exception of vegetables and steak. (steak I like rare) so DH and I balance each other out just fine 😁