Late picking up DD from nursery

[hellomynameissuzy]

I was 10 minutes late picking up my DD from nursery today. The educator that did hand over was not happy at all! She didn’t say a word to me, not even hello or goodbye to my 2 year old DD. She didn’t say anything when I apologised for being late so I couldn’t explain my reason for being late.
The nursery closes at 3pm, I arrived at 3.10pm.
I couldn’t ring ahead and let them know as my phone is broken atm.
AIBU to be upset about the educator being like this towards me? She has only been at this nursery since November. It makes me not want to send her back.

Apparently being late for pickup is a cardinal sin, whereas back in the real world where people are commuting from work on public transport or driving in rush hour traffic, sometimes even with the best will in the world shit just happens and you are delayed and there is not a damn thing you can do about it at the time.
Not every household is staffed by a lady of leisure who is no more than a 5 minute gentle stroll from the nursery and can be therefore guaranteed to be able to pick up the kids on time every time & still have her husbands dinner in the oven and pipe and slippers warming by the fireplace for him coming home.

I'm guessing this falls into the mumsnet imaginary world where you should also be paying for a backup nursery place/childminder place from before conception in case your main nursery has to close unexpectedly on day.

If it is a daily issue for nurseries (as is intimated by many here), and they charge a hefty fee for it, then they should be able to plan for it and have some staff rostered for late finishes on a if required/overtime basis. The late fees should cover it (£50 for 15 mins - they'd be out causing traffic jams to get some extra money in)

Yeah you don’t sound very sorry or bothered to me either I’m afraid, in our council run nursery kids not collected by 10 mins get reported to social work same with the school and it’s certainly a good deterrent

It's rubbish but yes I had to apply for flexible working to ensure I could be on time

Late pick up is not ok. Nursery staff are not paid well in any case so its not gaor.

also they might have other commitments

back in the real world where people are commuting from work on public transport or driving in rush hour traffic, sometimes even with the best will in the world shit just happens and you are delayed and there is not a damn thing you can do about it at the time.

That is why you have a working phone with you.

I would probably assume from the silent treatment that she was inconvenienced

Surely there are parents though who are late ?. And those who are never late?

it’s just one way or the other. Very rarely you get people who are occasionally late but it’s usually one or tother!

Blimey one nursery is plannng on charging £300 for every hour you’re late!! £300!!!!!!

amp.theguardian.com/money/2009/nov/22/nurseries-fine-parents-late-collection

Ahh this might explain why

The National Day Nurseries Association, a charity and industry body, says providing care after hours carries considerable expense.
At least two staff are needed to comply with child protection and health and safety rules, it says, on top of the extra costs of overtime pay and keeping a building open late.

Sounds like a crap experience for the kids too, if their carers are busy clearing up and cleaning for the last half hour, instead of paying them any attention.

What if you'd be held up for ten minutes from picking up your child because of a late client? Even if she had a delivery to her home for etc, you need to let them know if you'll be late and be overly apologetic. My DD1s nursery charged a late fee of £1 per minute. Nobody was ever late

It's a good job schools don't operate this way. There'd be no-one to get the kids out after the bell at the end of school.

I fail to see how a nursery can be cleared of people and locked up at the very time that it shuts. Having two people there for 15 minutes beyond closing time is not going to involve building costs, for goodness' sake.

I wouldn't even be able to switch everything off, make the place safe and lock it up while kids still being picked up at six. That's what you do when they've gone.

I've sat with kids for longer than ten minutes on the few occasions when parents have been held up by something out of their control. It's just something you do. Frustrating, but mostly you feel for the kid.

Yeah it is. Generally they end up sat down/cooped in for that time. But what’s the alternative? For poorly paid staff to work for free after hours? That’s not fair either.

They should be paid for clearing up time of course. I get that nurseries are run on a shoestring (though as most of them are private, it would be interesting to know what their profits are like), but even so...

Not sure what you mean by this either - she didn’t jump on op or ‘not give her the chance to explain.’ She said nothing. OP could have explained.

Like the only way the member of staff could have made it easier for op to explain would have been saying ‘why have you arrived 10 minutes after the service you pay for has ended?’ Which would of course have been rude. She said nothing, not stopping op from ‘explaining’ and op just chose not to do so.

Anyway, with regard to the OP, the fact that the staff member wouldn't even say goodbye to the 2 year old is what marks her out as shitty. Even if the rest of you think OP deserved the cold shoulder, the kiddy didn't.

The op hasn't said why she was late. She also didn't ring ahead to tell them.

YANBU that the staff member behaved rudely but YABU not to appear contrite when apologising. From what you have said It likely sounded insincere which may have got the staff members back up a bit.

I volunteer to run a children's club one day a week and it finishes at 7.30pm. Whilst rare more than once myself and another volunteer have still been waiting on a parent showing up after 8pm and it is utterly frustrating.

Don't know about all nurseries but where I work there are at least 2 members of staff per room. So one member of staff clears up and the other looks after the children.

The other night a parent was 25 minutes late for pick up at 6.10pm

He said to me “ well he’s not the only one here so it’s fine”

I had to point out that it was my daughter who I have kept with me as I released other staff to go home.

It might be a one off for you but for my team it is nearly every night one family is late and affronted that we are locking up as they arrive late and are ready to go.

Not really. When a 3 yr old has been there for 10 or more hours, they are generally quite ready for a bit of chilling out with a book, or even {SHOCK HORROR} some cartoons on You Tube or whatever. Most Nursery children wouldn't cope with full on singing and dancing individualised programmes of entertainment for 10 or 11 hours. Just like at home, children at Nursery for those hours sometimes have a bit of time doing something that doesn't need much adult input for short spells.

I'm pretty sure they don't. I mean, it's not like social work are busy enough dealing with people facing real issues. What a way to waste resources dealing with a non event - because you wouldn't want them to just ignore everything that came from a nursery or get into the situation where the the real issues get lost in the flood of non events?
It's hardly likely that they are going to swoop and put wee Chardoney into care because her mum was once 11 minutes late picking her up that day when there was gales and tree fell down and blocked the high street so all the busses were messed up that evening 🙄

I remember my serial late pick up couple. I was just setting up as a cm. All my other parents were lovely. This couple paid late/cheque bounce/dad once turned up drunk to drive kids home (Believe it if not I was in the wrong to stop him taking them I should have let him go and then dialled 999! According to my Ofsted advisor!

They were always late and users really. I gave notice.

Obviously not you op but some parents really do take the fucking piss.

However 10 minutes SS that's complete nonsence! You phone emergency numbers and police/SS in extreme safeguarding circumstances