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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More money or more time with Dd

103 replies

Coldestyearsince2013 · 30/01/2023 16:21

Dd, is four and a half and is currently at Pre school part time. I work the hours she’s there and have been very lucky to be able to choose my hours.
We just about get by on only Dh’s wage, but don’t have any left over for proper holidays etc.
Now I’ve started working again, we’re much better off and rather than just meeting the bills and everything needed for Dd, we can now save and have some treats for ourselves.
Work have now asked if I want to work weekends too, three hours each day for a good amount. The extra money is very tempting, but my goal was always to spend as much time as possible with Dd whilst young. She’d be at home with Dh, but we’d be missing out on family time.
Pre Dd, I worked full time plus weekends as I enjoyed my job and enjoyed making money, my priorities changed when she was born and I was able to stay at home with her, but we struggled at times.
Would you go for the extra money or time at home with family?
It’s hard for me to turn down extra money of any kind 😬

OP posts:
HeavenIsAHalfpipe · 30/01/2023 16:23

No brainer. More time with kids. Every time.

Cornelious2011 · 30/01/2023 16:23

More time with kids.

aSofaNearYou · 30/01/2023 16:25

I think it depends what you mean by in nursery part time. How much time do you have with her currently? And could you put her in more and work during the week more if you wanted more money but wanted family time with both adults on the weekend?

Original poster
Coldestyearsince2013 · 30/01/2023 16:25

Yes, to me was always more time at home, but it’s such easy money and something I quite enjoy, the money is v good…it’s so hard to turn down, especially in the current climate, it’s been so stressful the times we’ve struggled

OP posts:
Lcb123 · 30/01/2023 16:26

Can you work one of the weekend days, and have the other at home?

Original poster
Coldestyearsince2013 · 30/01/2023 16:27

@aSofaNearYou She’s in three full days a week until summer, she’ll then be every day. So I’m v fortunate I have two days off with her during the week, just her and I

OP posts:
Original poster
Coldestyearsince2013 · 30/01/2023 16:28

@Lcb123 I can, but I’ve even felt myself feeling guilty about that, it’s crazy

OP posts:
Slowingdownagain · 30/01/2023 16:28

3 hours while she is with another parent sounds fine to me. Especially as you see her loads in the week too. It's quality not quantity with time spent with kids.

skippy67 · 30/01/2023 16:28

I'd take the extra £.

ToastAndButler · 30/01/2023 16:28

Could you do 3 hours one day? I'd be loathe to have no whole day of family time but your DH and DD having 3 hours together might be quite nice for them.

SpanishOnion · 30/01/2023 16:29

I would choose extra money every time, but I wouldn't want to work weekends. Is there an option for you to work longer days on two of your weekdays?

Swiftswatch · 30/01/2023 16:29

By preschool part time do you mean like only a morning or afternoon session?
So that’s all you work currently?

Imo that plus 3 hours a day on the weekend isn’t that much, it sounds like it’s still less than a typical 9-5 week. Plus with 3 hours a day you still have loads of family time anyway.

Utterbullocks · 30/01/2023 16:29

So you’ve been struggling financially and have an opportunity to change this by doing some easy short weekend shifts, presumably giving your DP a chance to parent on his own.

No brainier for me. ‘You don’t get this time back’ is all well and good (& not very progressive tbh) but not if it means you can’t live comfortably.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 30/01/2023 16:29

What time at the weekends? If it was 7am - 10am I would probably go for it as you still have most of the day when you finish. 12pm - 3pm - no way. It’ll trash your entire day!

mycatsanutter · 30/01/2023 16:30

I wouldn't be keen but what are the hours ?

Original poster
Coldestyearsince2013 · 30/01/2023 16:31

@Mumoftwoinprimary It’s 10-1, my preference is for 9-12 for example as I’m up early with Dd anyway, but they want a later start

OP posts:
FlounderingFruitcake · 30/01/2023 16:32

With 2 full days already at home with DD I wouldn’t be worried should missing out with her, but if your DH does Monday-Friday and you work Saturday and Sunday then that would mean zero family time so I wouldn’t be keen. But the extra money would be good! Can you compromise on Saturday OR Sunday, not both? Or is it an all or nothing offer?

Original poster
Coldestyearsince2013 · 30/01/2023 16:32

@Utterbullocks We’ve not struggled massively, but had our moments at times, we pay the bills and mortgage and have a little left over, but me working makes a huge difference to what we can save and also enjoy

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 30/01/2023 16:33

I would probably rather add an extra weekday at work, even if that means an extra day in childcare in order to keep the family days.

Original poster
Coldestyearsince2013 · 30/01/2023 16:33

@FlounderingFruitcake I can do just one day, but it’s so tempting when they offer the money for the other one too 🙈
Yes, Dh works full time everyday during the week

OP posts:
Mousta · 30/01/2023 16:35

I would just do one. If you do both you will never be able to go out for the day as a family. Life is a marathon not a sprint OP, pace yourself!

Crumpleton · 30/01/2023 16:36

Slowingdownagain · 30/01/2023 16:28

3 hours while she is with another parent sounds fine to me. Especially as you see her loads in the week too. It's quality not quantity with time spent with kids.

I agree with this.
It gives your DD and DH some quality time together.

RuthW · 30/01/2023 16:36

More time with kids especially school age 4-13

Disneygirl37 · 30/01/2023 16:36

I would do one every weekend or both days every other weekend if that's an option.

SummerInSun · 30/01/2023 16:39

If you like the job, as you seem to, I'd take the hours. It's super valuable to your DD's and DH's relationship to have some quality time just the two of them too. Maybe you could develop a nice routine of them coming to meet you after work and all going to the park or to a cafe for a snack or something.

Could you ask your employer if you could try of for a month or so as a trial and see how it works out for you all?