More money or more time with Dd

[Coldestyearsince2013]

Dd, is four and a half and is currently at Pre school part time. I work the hours she’s there and have been very lucky to be able to choose my hours.
We just about get by on only Dh’s wage, but don’t have any left over for proper holidays etc.
Now I’ve started working again, we’re much better off and rather than just meeting the bills and everything needed for Dd, we can now save and have some treats for ourselves.
Work have now asked if I want to work weekends too, three hours each day for a good amount. The extra money is very tempting, but my goal was always to spend as much time as possible with Dd whilst young. She’d be at home with Dh, but we’d be missing out on family time.
Pre Dd, I worked full time plus weekends as I enjoyed my job and enjoyed making money, my priorities changed when she was born and I was able to stay at home with her, but we struggled at times.
Would you go for the extra money or time at home with family?
It’s hard for me to turn down extra money of any kind 😬

Again the hours seem a good balance, if travel time isn't an hour + each way, you could breakfast with your DD and do any prep for any activities/outings if needed to make life easier for once home afterwork.
Plenty of the day left once you return for family time especially now we're going towards the lighter days.

How long does it take to get to and from work?

I’d work the extra - like someone else has said it’s quality not quantity! Still have your afternoons aswell as some extra money for activities

Can you give it a try? The only thing is when your DD is at school you might feel you hardly see her? Otherwise it's doable and perhaps your DH could take DD to set things e.g. a class during the weekend mornings and you do things as a family in the afternoons?

For e it would depend on your current financial situation. Do you have a decent amount of emergency savings, are you both paying into pensions, are you paying into savings for DD? If so then I'd prioritise time with DD, if not then prioritise money and get those things sorted.

I'd do the extra hours. It will give your DH a chance to have quality 1-1 time with your DD which is really important.

Besides, it's easier to give up hours once you have them than it is to try to get more further down the line.

Honestly if you have the time with her all week (she’s only at nursery while you are working) you are with her all the time ?

I would take the cash and it’s only 3 hours

he could bring her swimming or get the grocery shop done and when you return from work - you can have family time ??

go for it.

if it doesn’t work out you can change your hours back

I'd see this as an opportunity to

1. Earn more money, 3hrs isn't Alot of time. Are you set by working times?

1. Its an great way for DD and Dad to have one on one time.

@larchforest 7 minute drive! The answer is so obviously to do it, but why do I feel guilt 🤷🏻‍♀️

Take the shifts, sounds like you already have lots of time together and just think of the experiences you can give her with that little extra cash. I've always done overtime a couple of Saturdays a month and its paid for hobbies, days our, holidays etc 😊

Does your husband feel guilty going to his full time job?

I didn’t think so.

There’s your answer!

I think a lot of parents/carers feel the same way.

3.5 hours hours including travel time isn't to bad especially as you get 2 days in the week at home, so a 5 day week only a few of those hours eat into the weekend which in the grand scheme of things can been seen as better than the 9-5 normal 5 day working week.

Time with children is precious and you'll have plenty and yes it does seem to rattle by but equally it's so important as a wife/partner/mother not to lose yourself along the way.

Your daughter is only a child for a very short time.Money can never trump the precious memories and time you will spend with her.❤️

at her age, you'd be better off with the money - invest it well for her future.

@ILiveInTornadoAlley Shame about her poor husband having to go to work and missing out.

That argument is not even relevant when she spends most of her time with her child anyway. Let the man have a go, on his own and tackle the Mom guilt! Spurred on by posts like yours.

Utter
Sounds like you enjoy your job/profession.That is great.
We all choose different paths in life and each family has to choose what works for them specifically.
Thankfully we all have the freedom to choose what is best for ourselves and our families.😊

As she will be with your DH, I would take the extra hours just because of the current finantial situation.

Personally I would do one day then have the other as a family day. You get two days off a week so get your DH to take swimming or something fun that the two of them enjoy while you work.

@ILiveInTornadoAlley
No more than anyone else but I’m so glad now that I didn’t give it up when mine were little because of all the people telling me I’d never get the time back. The Mum guilt that kind of statement fuels was unreal and it was totally unnecessary.

OP has yet to tell us why she’s so reluctant to let her DH have some 121 time with the child. It’s three hours! Many women go to the hairdressers for longer OP.

Extra time with my child. She will go yo school in just over a year and you won't have those 2 days a week with her.

I used to have to work alternate Saturday/Sunday when DC was small.
I’d give anything to have that time back.

I'd work one day at weekend. Nice compromise. You could work 10-1 sat and dh takes dc to swimming lessons or mini football or dance class

I'd do it. You already spend plenty of quality time with her during the week and now DH can have some quality time alone with her.

If it's only 3 hours you have tons of family time the rest of the day.

The responses on here are what make me sceptical about certain people's complaints about rising costs.

So many expect to have a great quality of life, find if one on one time with kids & days off, plus tons of leisure and family time.

You should work for extra cash based on the financial situation you've described

She already has two full days with her at home & is only suggesting to work 3 hours per day.