Page 15 | To hate splitting bills at restaurants?

AtticusFrost · 2023-01-30T16:21:36+00:00

We socialise a fair bit but do not have a high income. We do this by being careful about how we spend our money. So I absolutely hate it if in a restaurant at the end of the night someone says forcefully we should just split the bill. No! I know it is easier. But myself and DH have chosen cheaper options so we can afford this. And it always people who have spent loads who say this.

Brefugee · 01/02/2023 12:28

we eat out a lot. and often it happens that it's relatively spontaneous, If i'm not hungry I'm going to order what i want (often just a starter) and i don't expect everyone to restrict their intake just because I'm not hungry, and likewise they don't expect me to gorge on food i don't want.

And we always always pay for what we've had. And often one of us will say "one of the wines is on me, and 2 of the bottles of water" and no waiter has ever had a problem with that in Germany or elsewhere

notacooldad · 01/02/2023 12:35

I recently went out for a meal and, when splitting the bill, commented on the fact that I hadn’t had alcohol. You should have seen the look on everyone’s faces
Just because you don't drink alcohol doesnt always mean there is a saving. I have been caught out by this mindset a few times with a pint of lime and soda has cost more than a pint of lager.

RampantIvy · 01/02/2023 12:40

A pint of lime and soda is £2.50 round here.

phoenixrosehere · 01/02/2023 12:41

BustyLaRoux · 01/02/2023 07:21

Honestly I can’t be bothered with everyone trying to work out their bit. When I go out with friends there isn’t anyone who sees it as a chance to order loads and then get away with paying less due to bill splitting. I wouldn’t be friends with people like that! I do have one friend who always wants to pay less though. To be fair she doesn’t eat meat and due to food intolerances she often won’t have desert. So her meal is usually a bit less than everyone else. I have to admit I find it a bit awkward and mean when she asks if she can just pay for what she’s had when the bill comes. It’s usually only £7-8 less than everyone else. I regularly don’t drink alcohol or eat desert either so I end up paying a bit more. But I wouldn’t dream of asking to just pay for what I’ve had. She always always asks to pay for her own stuff only. She doesn’t have money worries. Lives mortgage free. It’s up to her how she spends it. I know that. It just strikes me as unnecessarily stingy to ask to pay £7 less than everyone else! It’s not as if we go out every month. It’s probably three times a year!!

It’s usually only £7-8 less than everyone else.

Only… That’s almost £10. You could also pay for what you order but choose to moan about what someone else is doing and care more about how it appears to others. I would expect her to pay less not subsidise others.

Just because someone can “afford” it does mean they should have to pay extra for food and drink they didn’t want or cannot have.

phoenixrosehere · 01/02/2023 12:42

*doesn’t

AllOutofEverything · 01/02/2023 12:44

RampantIvy · 01/02/2023 12:40

A pint of lime and soda is £2.50 round here.

40p round here.

Slowingdownagain · 01/02/2023 12:47

AllOutofEverything · 01/02/2023 12:44

40p round here.

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Pretty sure it's over £3 in my local pub.

notacooldad · 01/02/2023 12:53

A pint of lime and soda is £2.50 round here.
Yes........and?
It costs about the same 'round here' where I live as well. However there have been quite a few occasions when I have ventured past my local and have been stung with soft drink prices thinking it may have been the cheaper option or I was the driver and had to go down the L&S drink route and was paying the same as someone who had a pint of beer.

RampantIvy · 01/02/2023 14:15

I'm going to have to research the lime and soda prices now
I paid 30p for a half pint one week, then £2.50 the next week in the same pub. Obviously one of the prices was incorrect.

@notacooldad my comment was in response to someone saying that lime and soda was more expensive than lager. I don't drink lager so I have no idea how much it costs.

notacooldad · 01/02/2023 14:38

@notacooldad my comment was in response to someone saying that lime and soda was more expensive than lager. I don't drink lager so I have no idea how much it costs.

Yes it was me that said it was more expensive than lager.
I didn't mean everywhere of course, I was just saying don't be fooled into thinking that the soft drink option means it is going to be cheaper than alcohol.
In pubs near me I usually pay between 50p and £2.00 for a Lime and soda. However I was once charged £7.50 for a pint of it in a restaurant in Manchester and another time £5. Both times I queried it ( surely they had got the decimal place wrong!) But no, they hadn't. Dh's pint of whatever he drinks was around a fiver both times!

LoraPiano · 01/02/2023 14:51

I am curious if you pay only for your own food, do you expect the service charge and tip to be proportional? Or can that be split equally?

And what happens when someone orders say bread or sides for the table? Do you refuse it? Or do you have some but expect it not to be on your bill since you didn't order it?

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 01/02/2023 14:55

LoraPiano · 01/02/2023 14:51

I am curious if you pay only for your own food, do you expect the service charge and tip to be proportional? Or can that be split equally?

And what happens when someone orders say bread or sides for the table? Do you refuse it? Or do you have some but expect it not to be on your bill since you didn't order it?

Tip proportional (that also solves any disagreement about how much the tip should be and service issues - last time I went out my food was awful and the waitress was rude about it so I didn’t tip. My friend did as hers was lovely.) A set service charge should be split equally.

Sides and bread I’ll pay for if I eat/order/agree to share. Not if others just randomly order and I don’t have any. That’s no different to not contributing to bottles of wine if I don’t have any imo.

SillySausage81 · 01/02/2023 14:59

WFHbore2023 · 31/01/2023 21:05

I also don't understand the huge discrepancy in what people order.
I can't imagine going out with friends and ordering 3 courses whilst they have 1.
The idea of sitting there eating whilst everyone else waits around for me to be done so the main course can come is horrifying.
In fact, the first words to come out of my mouth once we are seated are generally 'are we doing starters?' 🤣

If I'm the only person who wants a starter then I'd just forget about it, but sometimes in a group of about 8-10 then maybe half the people do want starters and half don't, so those who want them order them and those that don't just wait it out, whilst drinking and chatting. It's not particularly awkward because there's a few of you doing the same. If the majority want starters and I don't, I wouldn't want to deprive everyone else of their enjoyment, but nor would I want to eat something I'm not hungry enough for.

ThreeLittleDots · 01/02/2023 15:01

do you expect the service charge and tip to be proportional

No

And what happens when someone orders say bread or sides for the table? Do you refuse it? Or do you have some but expect it not to be on your bill since you didn't order it

Someone says "do we want X to share?" People say yes, this element is then split equally upon payment by those who had it. It would be rare and presumptuous for someone to order sides for the table without asking anyone, in my circles.

SummaLuvin · 01/02/2023 15:02

Slowingdownagain · 01/02/2023 12:47

Pretty sure it's over £3 in my local pub.

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Most places it’s really cheap, I often pay £1.50-£2. But I was once caught out and it was £4.50!!!! £4 for a fancy little Fever Tree soda and 50p for the cordial. I always look out for soda taps now.

Slowingdownagain · 01/02/2023 15:04

SummaLuvin · 01/02/2023 15:02

Most places it’s really cheap, I often pay £1.50-£2. But I was once caught out and it was £4.50!!!! £4 for a fancy little Fever Tree soda and 50p for the cordial. I always look out for soda taps now.

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Yes it's odd. Wonder if they use soda water from a bottle. We do get a fancy real slice of lime at the top. Our local pub is very wannabe TOWIE (albeit in Kent).

Brefugee · 01/02/2023 15:09

I am curious if you pay only for your own food, do you expect the service charge and tip to be proportional? Or can that be split equally?

Tip proportionally. I expect any and all service charges to be removed and then everyone to tip, or not, according to what they're paying

And what happens when someone orders say bread or sides for the table? Do you refuse it? Or do you have some but expect it not to be on your bill since you didn't order it?

quite often one of us will say "add the bread to mine and one of the bottles of wine and a water" or something. TBH where i live when they bring bread, olives etc to the table you don't pay for those

So much overthinking here

SillySausage81 · 01/02/2023 15:15

Slowingdownagain · 01/02/2023 06:48

Me neither. Nor have I been to meals where one person orders 8 courses while another sticks to one. I think, socially, that would be very odd.

Perhaps we are lucky, according to the calculator crew this happens ALL the time ;)

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TBH if you're on a really tight budget all that has to happen is you order the cheapest pasta meal (£8) and a soft drink (£2) and everyone else orders a more expensive meal (£12) and a couple of glasses of wine (£9) and suddenly everyone else's meal has cost fully double your own. In a group of 4, that averages out at £18.25. To some people that extra £8 could be what makes all the difference between being able to afford to come out and not being able to come out.

rookiemere · 01/02/2023 15:20

@Brefugee I actually think it's pretty mean to ask for the service charge to be removed from the bill of a big group.
It's generally a lot more work for the server to get everything out on time and keep drinks refreshed and it's fairly common to not get much tip from a big group unless it's included.

Brefugee · 01/02/2023 15:46

I actually think it's pretty mean to ask for the service charge to be removed from the bill of a big group.

nope. Aside from the fact that I've only ever seen that applied in UK and not where i live, we all add at least 10% and often more. Most of our friends are chefs and others who work in the business.

I get why restaruants add a service charge to big tables, but i don't worry at all about asking for it to be removed.

phoenixrosehere · 01/02/2023 15:50

LoraPiano · 01/02/2023 14:51

I am curious if you pay only for your own food, do you expect the service charge and tip to be proportional? Or can that be split equally?

And what happens when someone orders say bread or sides for the table? Do you refuse it? Or do you have some but expect it not to be on your bill since you didn't order it?

Depends on the restaurants, but I usually pay for what I order, service charge and tip all together. I will decline bread and sides because I don’t usually have them with my meal when I’m out anyway. I may have two starters as a meal in itself with a dessert that I may takeaway but I would have paid for them anyway.

Slowingdownagain · 01/02/2023 15:56

SillySausage81 · 01/02/2023 15:15

TBH if you're on a really tight budget all that has to happen is you order the cheapest pasta meal (£8) and a soft drink (£2) and everyone else orders a more expensive meal (£12) and a couple of glasses of wine (£9) and suddenly everyone else's meal has cost fully double your own. In a group of 4, that averages out at £18.25. To some people that extra £8 could be what makes all the difference between being able to afford to come out and not being able to come out.

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Yep you are right. And perhaps those are not the situations that I often find myself in, dining with people on really tight budgets. If this was the case, and I was out with a friend on a really tight budget I'd likely offer to pay the whole thing tbh, but as I've already said I certainly respect someone saying they wanted to pay separately. I certainly wouldn't argue it. My preference would however always be to split, and I have found that "each calculating their own" often ends up being pretty unfair too, with people subsidising those leaving a joint dish out, forgetting their drinks or ignoring the service charge.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/02/2023 16:16

turnipash · 31/01/2023 18:28

£20 oops!

Yes. Oops indeed. Why did you post 'it was only...'? It's not 'only' for some people and it's not for people like you to dismiss other people's situation.

You owe an apology to that poster, not an 'Oops'.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/02/2023 16:19

Brefugee · 01/02/2023 15:46

I actually think it's pretty mean to ask for the service charge to be removed from the bill of a big group.

nope. Aside from the fact that I've only ever seen that applied in UK and not where i live, we all add at least 10% and often more. Most of our friends are chefs and others who work in the business.

I get why restaruants add a service charge to big tables, but i don't worry at all about asking for it to be removed.

I also don't mind asking for service charges to be removed. It's up to restaurants to pay their staff properly, not for diners to do that. I will pay a service charge - or a tip (if the service has been excellent) - not both.

I long for the time when restaurants look at their declining customer base and determine once and for all to publish pricing at the true cost of the meal, the total cost that diners pay.

Brefugee · 01/02/2023 16:21

we tend to overtip if anything because so many of our friends work in the industry.
But yes, it really would be good if people knew the actual cost of things