I can’t remember my children

[EmpressOfTheSofa]

Ok sounds dramatic. But I’ve just had a FB memory of my youngest doing something cute as a toddler. And watching it feels
to me like watching my own cute baby but has no relevance to the pre teen I see now.

We have a great bond, no worries there. But I can’t reconcile pictures/videos of him then to now. It’s like separate identities. The same for my much older adult DC.

Is this weird? I can see pictures of my younger siblings and join that together with the adults they are now but with my kids I seem to have a strange disconnect between who they were as infants and who they are as older children. I’m finding it quite disturbing. It’s like ‘remember that toddler we used to know’ and ‘look at this funny child laughing at his own farts’. Love them both but seem like completely different entities.

Anyone else or am I losing it?

I dont think this is wierd at all-they change so much in such a short period of time. Having primary age kids and life being such a rush with work, running around after them, homework etc, I find it hard to remember the days snuggled up watching Peppa with a toddler. Im glad I took a million pictures because those years go so fast, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. I think its going to be so hard to remember the baby stage when the kids are teens - at least we’ve got plenty of photos to help jog the memory! 😀

I have zero recollection of my child's first 3 years
I look at photos and remember some stuff but no actual memories

Don't know their first word or tooth etc

I was about to say I felt like this about pregnancy. In fact, with DD2, when she was a newborn, I'd keep forgetting I wasn't pregnant any more. (I had a section, but was awake for it.)

I think I know what you mean. The 6 foot teens in my life are so far away from my toddler kids. I would love to travel back in time to relive a few days with them as babies/toddlers.

I think this probably makes you a healthier parent.

Half the issue with parents and adult children is that they can't see the person they have become. All they see is the helpless child and they can't get past that. They see their 14yrs old having difficulty with a friendship in school and react like it's still their 2year old baby - and this just goes on and on even when the 'child' now has children and a spouse of their own. They can't actually disconnect the two and so become horribly overbearing, providing constant unsolicited advice, involving themselves and interfering.

The way you are, I'd argue is, as I say, healthy!

I don't remember much of my eldest child's baby/toddler years and definitely wouldn't connect the toddler he was then to how he is now.

BUT I can with my youngest. It's weird.

Tulipmonster I wouldn’t worry too much! Every bit of my earlier post was true but if someone asked me now if I would want to go back to the toddler years I would politely decline! Being an older parent, I just hope I can stay alive for the birth of my gc but that’s a long way off yet.

I have a pre teen and a teen and I’m pretty sure I’ve blocked out the memories of the hard baby and toddler years….they got so much easier after they started school. But it is cute to see the pictures of them as babies in my phone.

I completely get it op. And can relate to quite a few of these comments.

I have this too, and find it quite upsetting. I don’t remember them crying, or first words, or feeding them, don’t remember the weight of them in my arms. It’s awful. I see videos of them toddling or babbling but I can’t remember it.

I find it upsetting too.
I would have always liked another and am reaching the age now where it wouldn’t even be possibly however circumstances changed. I think this means I’m struggling with it all the more weirdly. Like that part of my life, that I’m distanced from, has completely gone.

My amazing baby girl Daisy is now a gay man called Ross. His sisters insist that I refer to the pictures that come up on Our Alexa as Ross. This was when Daisy was 3. When she was 3 she was Daisy. I can remember my children but I’m being told to change my memories

No it’s not just you. I find it sad looking at old pics. It’s very strange but maybe nessesarry for our mental health sometimes as the teen years are hard.

That's really tough x

💐BathshebaKnickerStickersthat’s quite a mindset shift being demanded of you

It's a horrible trend. I hope things work out for you - am confident they will.

Was hoping someone said something. I really hate when posters chase up after a minute.

Even worse when it's a passive aggressive remark. No need.

I was making a phone call to the doctors prescription line once when I was in the car (I needed to do it when I remembered to do it as I’m menopausal). I had to have a sit down talk with DD3 who is 12 that I would need to use Ross’s dead name to order his prescription as the doctors know him as Daisy - otherwise what the doctor would have heard is “I’d like to request a refil of Daisy Johnstone’s Slabutami stop it that’s not his name stop dead naming him it’s Ross stop it stop it, what are you saying”. His siblings are as ardent as he is however officially he is a girl called Daisy. But we are in Scotland. Daisy is 19

This is awful and my fear. I thought referring to someone as the name they used in the picture would be ok. Although I suppose they will argue they never felt that way.

I can imagine it being super tough as a parent and I'm sorry you are going through this.

I am so sorry. I think she’ll come back to you. It all seems to be coming to an end. My older teens who were absolutely mired in this have had a turn around in the past few days. Stay strong. I’m always mindful that I was a teenage goth with multiple tattoos and piercings who is now so boringly beige that my kids call me Karen 😱🥹🤷🏻‍♀️

Ah feck off. This board moves quickly and I’m needy. It would have dropped off Active without a bump. Not my first rodeo.

Have you considered becoming a gay man yourself? I've heard of small trend where parents who's kids say they are trans, 'come out' as trans themselves. They use all of the same reasoning as their child and their child usually hates it and the end result is complete desistance.

Mine are adults now. I can’t remember much apart from what I know from photos and how bloody long the screaming baby phase was 😱.

Ross was diagnosed with ADHD at 16. He has always changed history. Mum I want to play rugby, sign me up for rugby,take me to rugby…I always hated rugby and I only did it to please you. You made me ge and you wouldn’t let me stop.

repeat the same conversation with rock climbing.

repeat the same conversation with swimming.

repeat the same conversation with water polo

I don't have children but I feel like a completely different person from the me who was a child and the me who was a teenager.