Page 21 | Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

Nimbostratus100 · 2023-01-27T16:41:43+00:00

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here The facts of the case 12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time. This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there. What do you think should happen? why? I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random! YABU - the boy should be expelled YANBU - the boy should not be expelled also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled? Thank you

Mark19735 · 28/01/2023 09:22

Everyone muttering about ageism should ask themselves who, if anyone, is suffering discrimination because of their age? It is not the victim.

The fundamental issue the OP raises is totally about the class and family background of the child. The scenario portrayed is of a 'wrong side of the tracks' kid with talent being 'allowed' to play at an 'elite' club, and other kid's parents being up in arms about this, and trying to use a minor misdemeanour as a pretext to exclude this kid. The fact that it was one of their own (the posh ones) who got hurt is neither here nor there.

The only prejudice apparent at this club, and on this thread, is towards the kid. There's absolutely nothing wrong with 12 year olds, or skateboards. If it had been a gymkhana and one of the posh kids' ponies had reared up or snorted and someone elderly had fallen over, no-one would be batting an eyelid or blaming the kid. There is however plenty wrong with the presumption that scapegoating a child for the inconveniences suffered by an adult who should have taken more care is in any way fair or reasonable.

Quia · 28/01/2023 09:30

GabriellaMontez · 28/01/2023 08:42

Several minor reprimands. Escalated to a serious one. Someone is injured.

There is no sign of him learning his lesson.
Serious consequences are the best thing that could happen to him.

Are you saying he received a serious reprimand before someone was injured? When? It obviously wasn't when he was reminded that he couldn't use the skateboard within the club.

Blufelt · 28/01/2023 09:50

GoldilockMom · 27/01/2023 23:20

Claim from who? 12 year olds aren’t known for having deep pockets!

The club. They will have public liability insurance. They failed to keep her safe resulting in an injury. That’s how insurance works.

The club is not at fault. They took reasonable steps to prevent an accident, they banned skateboarding indoors and when someone broke the rules in the past they spoke to him about it. There are no further steps they could or should have taken, so the club bears no liability for the accident. The sole responsibility lies with the 12yo who broke the rules. Therefore the only party who could possibly be sued is the 12yo, who has no money.

GabriellaMontez · 28/01/2023 10:13

Quia · 28/01/2023 09:30

Are you saying he received a serious reprimand before someone was injured? When? It obviously wasn't when he was reminded that he couldn't use the skateboard within the club.

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I literally said minor reprimands.

The OP doesn't specify when.

But clearly he doesn't pay attention to club rules. Despite previous reprimands. And now he's hurt someone.

Regardless of the parents feelings I wouldn't want him at my club. He sounds like a liability.

Ottil · 28/01/2023 10:13

I've mentioned this upthread, but having been injured by an older kid doing something daft, I would be fucking furious if a bunch of baying parents (some of whom sound like outright bullies) got that child expelled from the opportunity that might keep his life on the right track.

He did wrong. There should absolutely be consequences, but the torch-waving on this thread is insane and somewhat unnerving.

GabriellaMontez · 28/01/2023 10:18

Mark19735 · 28/01/2023 09:22

Everyone muttering about ageism should ask themselves who, if anyone, is suffering discrimination because of their age? It is not the victim.

The fundamental issue the OP raises is totally about the class and family background of the child. The scenario portrayed is of a 'wrong side of the tracks' kid with talent being 'allowed' to play at an 'elite' club, and other kid's parents being up in arms about this, and trying to use a minor misdemeanour as a pretext to exclude this kid. The fact that it was one of their own (the posh ones) who got hurt is neither here nor there.

The only prejudice apparent at this club, and on this thread, is towards the kid. There's absolutely nothing wrong with 12 year olds, or skateboards. If it had been a gymkhana and one of the posh kids' ponies had reared up or snorted and someone elderly had fallen over, no-one would be batting an eyelid or blaming the kid. There is however plenty wrong with the presumption that scapegoating a child for the inconveniences suffered by an adult who should have taken more care is in any way fair or reasonable.

I think you'll find gymkhanas/stables take safety very seriously.

A repeated rule breaker whose behaviour eventually caused an injury wouldn't be welcome to participate.

But nice reverse snobbery and victim blaming.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 28/01/2023 10:20

This is more like a thread of spot the parents of badly behaved children

Illuminating isn't it?

Quia · 28/01/2023 10:32

GabriellaMontez · 28/01/2023 10:13

I literally said minor reprimands.

The OP doesn't specify when.

But clearly he doesn't pay attention to club rules. Despite previous reprimands. And now he's hurt someone.

Regardless of the parents feelings I wouldn't want him at my club. He sounds like a liability.

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You said "...minor reprimands. Escalated to a serious one. Someone is injured. That sounded as if you were saying that the serious reprimand happened before the skateboarding incident, but it wasn't 100% clear, hence my query.

The OP says the minor reprimands were for stuff on the pitch. I suspect most teenage boys incur those. If that makes players a liability who should be expelled, the club would end up rather short of players. There is no suggestion of a history of failing to pay attention to any club rules off the pitch.

Rhaych2003 · 28/01/2023 10:34

Fair enough he broke the rules bringing the skateboard in, which resulted in an accident. But are we really going to potentially jeopardise a young lads future by getting him kicked out of school over an accident? If he gets kicked out of school, higher chance he’ll turn to crime etc, end up in the system. What would you want to happen if it had been your son that had hit the lady, would you be so harsh?

what does the old lady, the victim want to happen to the lad??

Quia · 28/01/2023 10:35

Puzzledandpissedoff · 28/01/2023 10:20

This is more like a thread of spot the parents of badly behaved children

Illuminating isn't it?

All these passive aggressive posts are so silly. If you want to draw conclusions that people who disagree with you must have badly behaved children, at least have the courage to name names.

maddy68 · 28/01/2023 10:36

He shouldn't have been on a skateboard indoors. But expecting a kid to be "expelled". Don't be ridiculous. It's an accident

GabriellaMontez · 28/01/2023 11:06

Rhaych2003 · 28/01/2023 10:34

Fair enough he broke the rules bringing the skateboard in, which resulted in an accident. But are we really going to potentially jeopardise a young lads future by getting him kicked out of school over an accident? If he gets kicked out of school, higher chance he’ll turn to crime etc, end up in the system. What would you want to happen if it had been your son that had hit the lady, would you be so harsh?

what does the old lady, the victim want to happen to the lad??

Kicked out of school?

Did anyone suggest that?!

Rhaych2003 · 28/01/2023 11:11

GabriellaMontez · 28/01/2023 11:06

Kicked out of school?

Did anyone suggest that?!

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Sorry I meant to say get kicked out of the sports club not school, especially if you have to be of a certain standard to play there, could totally jeopardise a future career in sports if that’s what he wanted. I don’t think he should be kicked of the team given he’s been in no previous trouble xx

TrashyPanda · 28/01/2023 12:45

The only prejudice apparent at this club, and on this thread, is towards the kid. There's absolutely nothing wrong with 12 year olds, or skateboards

no, there isn’t.
but there is plenty wrong with a 12 year old who has been told not to use his skateboard indoors but decides to so anyway and seriously injures someone.

There is however plenty wrong with the presumption that scapegoating a child for the inconveniences suffered by an adult who should have taken more care is in any way fair or reasonable

you are scapegoating the victim who was seriously injured, through no fault of her own.
she required an operation. That is much more than an inconvenience and by downplaying it thus you are denying the pain and upset she will have been through.
how should the victim have taken more care?
and why?
nobody expects to be knocked over by a kid on a skateboard indoors

the injured lady is suffering much more than the kid.

Zosime · 28/01/2023 13:26

The woman will most likely be fine in 6-8 weeks. Why should the boy have a lifetime ban?

who has said anything about a lifetime ban? The boy can still play football, or whatever the sport is. The question is whether he should be allowed to continue to play it at this particular club.

EasterIsland · 28/01/2023 13:28

There is however plenty wrong with the presumption that scapegoating a child for the inconveniences suffered by an adult who should have taken more care is in any way fair or reasonable.

Good Lord @Mark19735 are you ths child's parent?

The child deliberately ignored the requirement that he not scoot his skateboard inside a building.

No-one walking along a hall or corridor should be required to look out for a rule-breaking child doing something unsafe and stupid. It is outrageous to reprimand the woman and say she should have taken more care when she is injured by a child deliberately doing something he was told - only that day - that he should not

And breaking an arm is not an "inconvenience." I broke my arm (in an accident not caused by anyone else) in my early 50s. I have an extremely demanding & high-pressure job, and I'm expected to perform at the top of my game. I had to have two operations, 6 weeks' sick leave (in total around the 2 ops), and an 18 month period of quite painful rehabilitation. I was on strong painkillers for about 6 months because of the damage to my nerves & muscles as a result of the fracture.

Luckily, my employer paid me my full salary for my periods of sick leave. However, many people aren't so fortunate in their working contracts.

And managing for over 6 weeks without the use of one easily working arm - difficulties in getting dressed, difficulties in brushing my hair & my teeth ... the list goes on.

And for all the reasons vfrious PP have srt out, she has NO recourse to compensation for pain or loss of earnings, or added costs to her in going about her ordinary life.

Your post is pretty despicable.

Ottil · 28/01/2023 13:28

Quia · 28/01/2023 10:35

All these passive aggressive posts are so silly. If you want to draw conclusions that people who disagree with you must have badly behaved children, at least have the courage to name names.

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...and while you're explaining that exceptionally foolish remark, you could also 'illuminate' the thread on how you know which of the posters are even parents.

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 28/01/2023 13:30

Was on here yesterday, amazed to come back and see its now moved on to blaming the victim. Its literally a free pass for anyone to injure anyone else and just say oh well I'm a nice person and nothing is my fault. WTAF. And then people wonder why kids are bullies, anti-social behaviour etc

Funny thing is on MN if this was a poster saying her 12 year old son had hoped for a 5 mile lift home from the club in the snow he'd be an entitled little shit who needed to get a job and earn pocket money for the bus. But knock a woman over her and break her arm, christ what a careless bitch, poor lad he's just a cheeky loveable urchin. FFS.

Ottil · 28/01/2023 13:30

For clarity, my comment is to the author of that profoundly intelligent comment, Puzzledandpissedoff

Ottil · 28/01/2023 13:33

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 28/01/2023 13:30

Was on here yesterday, amazed to come back and see its now moved on to blaming the victim. Its literally a free pass for anyone to injure anyone else and just say oh well I'm a nice person and nothing is my fault. WTAF. And then people wonder why kids are bullies, anti-social behaviour etc

Funny thing is on MN if this was a poster saying her 12 year old son had hoped for a 5 mile lift home from the club in the snow he'd be an entitled little shit who needed to get a job and earn pocket money for the bus. But knock a woman over her and break her arm, christ what a careless bitch, poor lad he's just a cheeky loveable urchin. FFS.

Yes, yes, SO MANY posters are saying that. Or two. Maybe even no one. But whatever, eh? 🙄

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 28/01/2023 14:06

There's absolutely nothing wrong with 12 year olds, or skateboards. If it had been a gymkhana and one of the posh kids' ponies had reared up or snorted and someone elderly had fallen over, no-one would be batting an eyelid or blaming the kid. There is however plenty wrong with the presumption that scapegoating a child for the inconveniences suffered by an adult who should have taken more care is in any way fair or reasonable.

What utter nonsense. Completely ignores the fact that he was on a skateboard in the building. And he had been told no skateboarding inside the building. He ignored that and injured someone as a result. How is it scapegoating the child ? To my mind you are scapegoating the old lady by asking us to accept that she should have expected a child to come barrelling out of a building on a skateboard !!

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 28/01/2023 14:13

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 28/01/2023 13:30

Was on here yesterday, amazed to come back and see its now moved on to blaming the victim. Its literally a free pass for anyone to injure anyone else and just say oh well I'm a nice person and nothing is my fault. WTAF. And then people wonder why kids are bullies, anti-social behaviour etc

Funny thing is on MN if this was a poster saying her 12 year old son had hoped for a 5 mile lift home from the club in the snow he'd be an entitled little shit who needed to get a job and earn pocket money for the bus. But knock a woman over her and break her arm, christ what a careless bitch, poor lad he's just a cheeky loveable urchin. FFS.

Agree. This attitude seems to be more and more prevalent in society. No one is prepared to take personal responsibility for their actions and there is always a queue of people willing to find any excuse to blame someone other than the person who is actually responsible - in this case the child. Yes, he’s 12, yes he was careless and didn’t actually mean to hurt anyone. And probably, hopefully, he will learn from this experience. But I think the point is that if he had done as he was told in the first place no one would have been hurt. But hey - better to blame the victim for not expecting a skateboard to come at her inside a building, than actually apply a punishment to the child that actually teaches him something.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 28/01/2023 14:45

Blufelt · 28/01/2023 09:50

The club is not at fault. They took reasonable steps to prevent an accident, they banned skateboarding indoors and when someone broke the rules in the past they spoke to him about it. There are no further steps they could or should have taken, so the club bears no liability for the accident. The sole responsibility lies with the 12yo who broke the rules. Therefore the only party who could possibly be sued is the 12yo, who has no money.

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He was caught riding the skateboard inside the building. I would have thought the sensible thing to do would have been to confiscate the skateboard while he was in building and tell him to collect it from reception when he left.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 28/01/2023 14:49

Would this make undo any of the results of the injury or feel more like revenge…. An eye for an eye etc?

Funny, I always thought that an eye for an eye meant justice, not revenge.

Mark19735 · 28/01/2023 15:03

To be clear, I don't think anyone is suggesting the injured person is culpable for her misfortune. It is a wretched thing to have happened to her. She deserves the exact same level of sympathy as would have been afforded to her had she slipped on an icy footpath, or fallen in her own home.

But there are seemingly a great many people willing to pile on to a vulnerable 12yr old kid, demanding all manner of sanctions for something that is clearly not a criminal act.

Thankfully, our criminal justice system is more nuanced that this, as are nearly 2/3rds of the 2200 people who have voted in the poll, overwhelming taking the view that the OP is not being unreasonable and saying that the child should not have been expelled. The will'o'the people is clear on this one. For those who don't like it - time to move on.