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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

807 replies

Nimbostratus100 · 27/01/2023 16:41

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

OP posts:
CremeEggsForBreakfast · 27/01/2023 22:32

So many people do not know what an accident is! This thread is weird. But just for clarity:

According to the Oxford dictionary and accident is
"an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury."

So no, the child did not ride his skateboard by accident but he did hit someone by accident.

A car doesn't (usually) run a red light by accident but subsequently hitting someone would be an accident.

Both accidents are caused by recklessness but one is caused by a child and whilst has ended in a nasty injury, the chances of a nasty injury in the skateboard scenario are less than a car ploughing into someone.

Grumpusaurus · 27/01/2023 22:36

OP, you are really minimising this! If I mount a pavement and drive into people, it is attempted manslaughter or even murder due to deliberately ignoring the safety of others. That boy seriously injured another person while breaking safety rules. That isn't an innocent accident. He should be expelled and his parents should be paying that poor woman for her pain and suffering.

PugInTheHouse · 27/01/2023 22:36

My feelings have definitely changed after the updates, the information the OP posted later in the thread is definitely relevant and it sounds as if maybe the boy needs a bit of support. Sounds like a bit of a witch hunt, I can of course understand the family of the grandma being upset but for everyone to jump on seems unfair.

The minor reprimands was a bit misleading, if only arguing with the ref then I don't think that's as bad as say being unkind to the other kids or being rude to coaches. Kids that may have impulse control can struggle when refs make decisions etc so it's not the worlds worst thing.

Blufelt · 27/01/2023 22:37

his parents should be paying that poor woman for her pain and suffering
Lol but they don’t have to, that’s not how the law works. Why would they give someone money when they don’t have to?

PriamFarrl · 27/01/2023 22:38

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 27/01/2023 22:32

So many people do not know what an accident is! This thread is weird. But just for clarity:

According to the Oxford dictionary and accident is
"an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury."

So no, the child did not ride his skateboard by accident but he did hit someone by accident.

A car doesn't (usually) run a red light by accident but subsequently hitting someone would be an accident.

Both accidents are caused by recklessness but one is caused by a child and whilst has ended in a nasty injury, the chances of a nasty injury in the skateboard scenario are less than a car ploughing into someone.

The thing is that there are accidents and there are accident.

If someone trips over and spills a cup of tea over the sofa, then that is a complete accident. The person who spilled the tea isn’t at fault.

If a child has been told not to kick their football towards the greenhouse and then does so, smashing a window, that is also an accident. But it’s not without blame.

Blufelt · 27/01/2023 22:41

Grumpusaurus · 27/01/2023 22:36

OP, you are really minimising this! If I mount a pavement and drive into people, it is attempted manslaughter or even murder due to deliberately ignoring the safety of others. That boy seriously injured another person while breaking safety rules. That isn't an innocent accident. He should be expelled and his parents should be paying that poor woman for her pain and suffering.

That would be a criminal case. It’s not the same as this situation which is a civil case because no law has been broken.

GoldilockMom · 27/01/2023 22:43

Or he's a silly little 12 year old chancing his arm. I'm going for that explanation, personally

He chances someone else’s.

I wonder how much this accident will affect granny financially?

Can’t drive for 6 weeks?
Pay for a Cleaner?
Can’t work?
Weeks of pain?

I hope she puts in a claim - she would have every right to do so.

SD1978 · 27/01/2023 22:43

There should be some kind of reprimand/ punishment within the club, benches for a few weeks or whatever. He was explicitly told not to do something, which several hours later he did again and has caused someone an injury- with a potential ongoing health issue which they don't get to juts get over. I'm not surprised that some parents are angry, especially if they know the woman, and what consequences this has on her family- which if she's working could be a serious loss of income. A wee oops sorry doesn't cut it then.

Ottil · 27/01/2023 22:45

This is more like a thread of spot the parents of badly behaved children

What absolute crap.

Blufelt · 27/01/2023 22:47

GoldilockMom · 27/01/2023 22:43

Or he's a silly little 12 year old chancing his arm. I'm going for that explanation, personally

He chances someone else’s.

I wonder how much this accident will affect granny financially?

Can’t drive for 6 weeks?
Pay for a Cleaner?
Can’t work?
Weeks of pain?

I hope she puts in a claim - she would have every right to do so.

Claim from who? 12 year olds aren’t known for having deep pockets!

Blufelt · 27/01/2023 22:49

I'm not surprised that some parents are angry, especially if they know the woman, and what consequences this has on her family- which if she's working could be a serious loss of income. A wee oops sorry doesn't cut it then.
Being injured by a child is like being crashed into by an uninsured driver. You can’t get any money from them because they don’t have any, so you have to claim on your own insurance.

GoldilockMom · 27/01/2023 23:20

Claim from who? 12 year olds aren’t known for having deep pockets!

The club. They will have public liability insurance. They failed to keep her safe resulting in an injury. That’s how insurance works.

GoldilockMom · 27/01/2023 23:32

I’ve just looked it up - she can claim between £40 and £60,000 dependent on recovery.

Patineur · 27/01/2023 23:57

saraclara · 27/01/2023 22:24

The club certainly needs to look at the level of supervision and enforcing safety rules.

No club is going to escort each indivdual out of the building when they leave. They're teenagers,

As stated, there's an argument they should have told the boy to leave the skateboard at reception if he wanted to go in.

Patineur · 27/01/2023 23:59

OhmygodDont · 27/01/2023 22:30

This is more like a thread of spot the parents of badly behaved children.

Ultimately he technically injured someone else, accident with intent or not. Abh or gbh don’t actually have to be intended but just a consequence of something you have done. Including where you’ve made a situation dangerous for someone else to harm themselves by your actions.

I have a teen a pre teen and an infant school aged child. Babying a 12 year old does the no favours when it comes to harming others or breaking rules. If the grandmother wanted she could press charges however small they might become.

If you want to charge someone with ABH or GBH, you absolutely have to prove intent.

Patineur · 28/01/2023 00:01

GoldilockMom · 27/01/2023 22:43

Or he's a silly little 12 year old chancing his arm. I'm going for that explanation, personally

He chances someone else’s.

I wonder how much this accident will affect granny financially?

Can’t drive for 6 weeks?
Pay for a Cleaner?
Can’t work?
Weeks of pain?

I hope she puts in a claim - she would have every right to do so.

Against whom?

TrashyPanda · 28/01/2023 00:02

Blufelt · 27/01/2023 21:23

Age hasn’t been mentioned. Grandmother could be 45-50! So not necessarily old and doddery. Not that it’s relevant.

The question is whether a 12yo could reasonably be expected to foresee that this accident might happen. Obviously he knew he wasn’t supposed to skateboard indoors, but I’d argue that he’s still a child so couldn’t be expected to realise his actions would lead to this accident.

OP did mention age

I would guess 70 - but she is still working, so maybe late 60s?

Patineur · 28/01/2023 00:05

GoldilockMom · 27/01/2023 23:20

Claim from who? 12 year olds aren’t known for having deep pockets!

The club. They will have public liability insurance. They failed to keep her safe resulting in an injury. That’s how insurance works.

You can't claim simply because you have an accident on their premises. You have to show fault on their part, and that injury was a reasonably foreseeable result of their fault. I can see some areas where they could be criticised, but I suspect this isn't the sort of claim a no-win no-fee lawyer would want to take on because the chances of winning are too low.

I really sympathise with the victim, not least because we're of a similar age, but it wouldn't help her to spend the next five years pursuing a hopeless claim.

TrashyPanda · 28/01/2023 00:06

OP - you say the boy has several reprimands for his behaviour on the pitch - arguing with the ref.

what is the club’s position on this? When players do not show sportsmanlike behaviour, is there a consequence?

in my youth, I played a sport with a captain who later played for her country. So definitely an elite player. After some shouting in one match, the school benched her for the next two matches. I’m presuming your club has similar standards?

Patineur · 28/01/2023 00:10

It's worth noting that she said he had received several minor reprimands. And that he's 12.

Sugarfree23 · 28/01/2023 00:55

It's also worth noting if the lady hadn't broken her arm or the boy had hurt himself, nobody would really think much more off it.

DaveyJonesLocker · 28/01/2023 04:13

So long as he has received a punishment then OK. Sports does keep kids on the right tracks but doing something this bad then getting to Swan about with your life unchanged would not

EasterIsland · 28/01/2023 08:11

This is more like a thread of spot the parents of badly behaved children.

Indeed. And the ageism which is just typical of MN.

GabriellaMontez · 28/01/2023 08:42

Several minor reprimands. Escalated to a serious one. Someone is injured.

There is no sign of him learning his lesson.
Serious consequences are the best thing that could happen to him.

Sugarfree23 · 28/01/2023 08:47

The woman will most likely be fine in 6-8 weeks. Why should the boy have a lifetime ban?

People have accidents in cars all the time few end up with a life time ban.

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