Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

[Nimbostratus100]

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

That would be the best consequence

I sometimes suspect there is split between younger and older mothers to an extent on these questions. Younger mothers are still naturally focussed in protecting their babies, older mothers have had to move onto the stage where you have to prepare your children for the world and teach them to be adults. It's not easy but it's important.

Presumably, he was riding his skateboard and crashed into an older woman who was seriously injured. A bone break in a post-menopausal woman can be serious. If she is working, it’s time off work. It’s pain, exhaustion from bone mending, rehab, physio and the overall major inconvenience of not having a useful arm for at least 6 weeks.

darn right the boy should be asked to leave the club. He was behaving anti-socially by riding his skateboard where he should not be riding it. Totally in the wrong.

I hope his parents will be compensating the woman whom their son seriously injured.

So what has he done to apologise?
Has he written a letter? Has he been distaught for a week that his actions , when he failed to follow instructions, has resulted in a major injury of an innocent person?
What has he done to try and make amends?

My personal feeling is that is is right that he shouldn't be expelled for a stupid childish act when he didn't mean to harm anyone. But I seem to be in the minority out of the adults associated with this club.

Good Lord do you not have ANY compassion for the woman who was seriously injured by this boy? At 12 he is old enough to know that he should not have been scooting his skateboard. He is old enough to take responsibility for seriously injuring someone.

And you think he’s just impulsive???

I’m with the parents who don’t want this boy around.

Ultimately, it is intent that matters, not consequence. If I was defending the boy, I'd be asking about CCTV and eye witnesses.

There's a world of difference between recklessly travelling at high speed without looking where you are going and in so doing hitting a person so hard they fall over, and casually scooting along a wide corridor, passing a person who is doddery, old, frail, possibly hard of hearing, potentially wearing inappropriate footwear for the environment (slippers?) and easily startled, who then stumbles and falls. Both scenarios could result in the injuries you describe, but the culpability would be very different. And in the absence of strong evidence of the former, I'd be painting the latter picture. Doddery old people should take more care around kids - the gran needs to take some responsibility too. She's the adult in this scenario and it seems she didn't properly appraise all the risks and hazards she encountered.

As an aside - it sounds like a nasty, snobby club full of ghastly people - I'd move the kid to a rival club, and have him come back and knock this club out of whatever tournaments they compete in.

People seem to be missing the fact that this kids family isn't exactly great. So they want to take away possibily the one and only good influence in his life that could make a difference

The baying mob haven't missed it - they just don't care.

Good point

After having been told not to.

Then there is no reason not to expel him.

Any teacher will tell you that at the age of 12, teenage boys, on the whole, have a very poor perception of future consequences. It is because their brains aren't fully developed yet.

And before anyone leaps in and starts tell me their child was so wise at 12 that they could practically see the future- yes, fine. However, on the whole, boys start puberty later. And puberty also means brain development as well as body.

I haven't got a massive opinion either way- however, it strikes me that aged 12, he is neither one nor the other- not a child, yet certainly not even a teenager; and that should be considered. There should certainly be consequences but his age should also be considered. If he is, as you say, basically a good kid, this will have given him a good fright.

Totally agree @ForestofD All to do with the frontal cortex.

Accidents are the result of carelessness, that's virtually what the term means. If you are going to say something wasn't an accident, you are saying it's deliberate, which you accept isn't the case here. Yes, there are degrees of carelessness, and doing something you have been told not to do is at the top end of the scale, but it's still an accident.

But he had been told not to do it. I understand what you’re saying but the fact that his family aren’t great has little to do with the fact that he had been explicitly told not to skateboard inside the building, ignored it and then badly injured someone as a consequence. He needs the punishment to address what he’s done and one that brings home the consequence of his actions, both for the victim and for himself. He needs to learn that rules are there for a reasons and you can’t pick and choose which ones you obey and which ones you don’t. He’s twelve, and many posters are ignoring the fact that he’s over the age of criminal responsibility. If he carries on disregarding other people and doing as he likes, it won’t be long before he’s in a world of trouble.

Yes, all of that is correct. Still doesn't mean that he has been reprimanded for skateboarding in the building before and has just done it again.

In the examples given, the car driver didn't accidentally run a red light, and the boy didn't accidentally ride his board inside the building.

His age is a consideration under the law. He’s twelve, over the age of criminal responsibility. So the choice is nip it in the bud now with a punishment that he will learn from. Or make excuses to minimise what he’s done, and risk him getting into serious trouble later on.

That does not say he was skateboarding in the building.

Er, yes it does. He was told not to do it, ignored that, did it again on the way out and injured someone as a result. I’d say it was pretty clear that when he did it the second time, he was aware that it was wrong.

No?

People saying it was an accident. It wasn't simply an accident. It was an accident through carelessness. If someone is driving a car carelessly - and that being the key word here - and injures someone then they will be punished. So why shouldn't this boy, who has been warned that it poses a risk to people but has chosen to ignore others safety and continue carelessly riding this skateboard, not be punished?

In the original post the OP clearly says he was leaving the building - the main entrance - on his skateboard. Having been told when he came into the building on his skateboard, that he should not ride it in the building.

OP's posts indicate that it's the first time. He has only earned mild reprimands for incidents on the field.

Yes. Came out of the main entrance on the skateboard, having been told when he arrived into the building on the skateboard that he was not to ride it inside.

He was in the building.

It’s right there.

Or he's a silly little 12 year old chancing his arm. I'm going for that explanation, personally. Before anyone who hasn't RTFT jumps on me, I still think that merits a severe punishment, just not expulsion.