Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

[Nimbostratus100]

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

If you injure someone as a result of careless or dangerous driving, it won’t be a civil matter, so that argument doesn’t stand up.

I cant say too much about his family, incase anyone reading this recognises the situation and the boy. They dont attend or support him

That's quite important. If he's found an activity where he has good role models and can learn from the discipline of the sport, and is away from his family's influence, it would be a shame to drive him back to them.

Tbh if it was my mum or nan whose arm he broke I would want him expelled. A broken arm at that age is no joke. I think downplaying it like some people are doing is awful.

This. Compassionate common sense.

There are some bloodthirsty dicks on this thread as well.

There is no statement that he has skateboarded inside the building before

It isn't an accident though, it was carelessness. He was aware he could not use the skateboard inside the building because it could lead to accidents, he then did so. Whilst he obviously didn't intend to hurt someone he was aware that by ignoring the rules he could hurt someone. If someone runs a red light in their car, and hits another car they are at fault and face the consequences even if it is clear they didn't intend to cause harm.

Not ‘reminded’ told that there was no skateboarding inside the building. He ignored it, and the fact that the club didn’t take it off him is not the point. They assumed that as he’d been told not to do it (and presumably why he shouldn’t do it) then he wouldn’t. Niave I grant you, but not the point.

It was an accident - expulsion is disproportionate

@Lovelysausagedogscrumpy what are you talking about? You think if the police had been called to his matter they would have said it was a criminal offence? What offence would that have been?

The poster was talking about being "responsible" for a car accident. People get injured in car accidents all the time. Technically another driver will be "responsible", but all that happens is their insurer pays out for those personal injuries.

There is a difference between injuring someone criminally (like dangerous driving), when you will be punished by the police, and what happened here which would be considered a civil matter at most.

Yes there is. In the OP’s third post.

He arrived and left the club alone, he was told no skateboarding in the building when he arrived on it.

My personal feeling is that is is right that he shouldn't be expelled for a stupid childish act when he didn't mean to harm anyone.

have only read OPs posts. He was told not to do something. He did it anyway and as a result an elderly lady needed an operation and has a broken arm? Which isn't a simple thing at any age let alone when you're in your 60s.

So i do think he needs a severe punishment, and should apologise, maybe by letter, to the woman he injured. Maybe do some cleaning or gardening or something for her by way of reparations.

The problem with "don't skateboard here" is that there isn't an "or this will be the punishment" It's a tough lesson, but it needs to be learned.

Would you apply that same logic to someone who had been caught speeding, attended a speed awareness course, then got caught again? Should they get a lifetime driving ban? In reality they would only get a sixty pound fine and 3 meaningless points. There are more than 11,000 people still allowed to drive in the UK despite having 12 points. If you "accidentally" kill someone with a car you don't get a ban of more than a few months. Why should a skateboarding 12 year old get a more severe punishment than an adult who's reoffended several times?

Torch-waving mobs aside, your AIBU poll speaks for itself, OP.

It was just an accident. He should be given a warning for skateboarding and told that there will be consequences if he continues, but that’s it.

If a 12yo, skateboarding indoors against the rules, broke my mother's arm, I would expect expulsion or a long suspension.

If it was my 12yo, doing the same thing, I would expect the same. A broken arm is serious in an older person and they might not regain their arm function.

An accident is something out of the blue. This lad was being reckless. The poor woman.

Hard to comment on, as none of us know the boys personality and demeanour. Some children would be horrified by this, and some wouldn’t give a toss.

It does sound like a freak accident and hopefully the boy was very remorseful. I know that’s no consolation to the elderly lady and her family.

I don’t think the boy should be expelled. But, he needs to be firmly told and educated about the dangers of riding skateboards inside and in in appropriate places, and why rules are in place.

I hope all goes well for the elderly woman going forwards and she recovers.

Yes but those consequences will be a small fine, a few points, possibly a short ban (but not if the person needs their car to get to work). There are no serious consequences for that sort of driving offence even if someone is killed.

As a rule 'nice middle class' boys get away with things that 'lower class' boys get criminalised for.

My thoughts - he was stupid but he is 12, a child. Punishment (and support if he's not getting it), is fine. Banning him, that's the middle class pushy parents wanting him out either because he's better than their child or they don't want their child hanging out with him.

Protesting, bloody deranged. They're acting like he mugged her for drug money.

I've never heard of anyone being expelled from anywhere for an accident

It wasn’t an accident it was wholly avoidable had he stuck to the rules.
If asked to leave the club he can join another one - he made bad choices and he should be asked to leave.
He will have caused a heap of paperwork and the club will be investigated on their safeguarding.
That’s without the lady making a full recovery - if independent how will she look after herself or anyone else for that matter?

I think it depends a little on whether he's already been told off for riding his skateboard inside or not.
Tbf if he was told on arrival, I'd wonder whether it was a regular thing that he, or possibly others, was riding round inside.

If he's been told several times then I would have far more sympathy with them expelling him than if it was a first offense.

When I was a teen and a member of a sports club, two kids were suspended for 2 years for shoplifting from the pro's shop. Their parents thought it was very mean, but they'd been known to be shoplifting for at least 6 months, it was just then they were caught and they were a pain in other ways.
If they'd generally been no problem then I suspect they'd have got a rap on the knuckles and given a warning.

True. It is more there should be a punishment, how big that is depends on a few factors. Is this the first incident where someone has got hurt/ have their been near misses? Also what is he/ his family doing to compensate the person seriously injured by his actions?

It was an accident. He did something stupid. He should apologise to the lady involved.

If I was the grandmother with a broken arm, having had an operation, I would want him suspended for a term and for his skateboard to be confiscated indefinitely. Both punishments related to the “crime” and especially as he had been warned re. the skateboard that very night. A broken bone at that age is quite traumatic and her injuries could be so much worse.

If this were my son (and I am the mother and grandmother of boys) I would consider this to be a fair punishment. If the grandmother will lose income from this incident then she should investigate a claim for compensation.

He should also send a hand written message.

This.

This. Is this the first time he's ignored the rule, or is it just the latest/ most serious incident in a pattern of ignoring the rules?