Boy breaks grandmother's arm by accident

[Nimbostratus100]

I am not going to say what happened next and what I think until I have heard a few objective opinions on here

The facts of the case

12 year old boy in sports club, leaving the main entrance on his skateboard, which he has been told is not allowed in the building, knocks over the grandmother coming to collect another child. The grandmother has a broken arm and needed an operation

This is a fairly elite sports club, you need to be able to play to a certain standard to by allowed to join. This boy has played there for a year. No serious trouble, several minor reprimands. Reasonably good player. Turns up for the team probably 80-90% of the time.

This happened last weekend. The sports club is meeting tomorrow. The parents have just heard that this boy has/has not been expelled and will/will not be there.

What do you think should happen? why?

I am allocating the voting by a toss of a coin to be random!

YABU - the boy should be expelled
YANBU - the boy should not be expelled

also, what else should happen, as well as/ instead of being expelled?

Thank you

It was an accident. He was stupid and careless. He should be punished for that but he did not deliberately hurt anyone. He should be expected to feel remorse and to try and make amends to the victim. He should never take his skateboard in the building again.

Beyond that, the only justification for the other parents response is if this is the only part of his behavior that has been caught. We all know of the kids that have done many, many horrible things but they aren't proved etc.

Or the other alternative is that in a sports setting they are deliberately trying to get rid of competition for their kids . I'm assuming from the team description that this is football? If this is the case the coaches need to stamp down hard on the behaviour from other parents now.

I also think this is a situation that calls for restorative justice. Obviously him
skateboarding indoors was reckless and irresponsible. But he is 12. Expulsion seems extreme. Do some of these parents calling for ‘justice’ think that his face doesn’t fit? Personally I’m all for seeing the best in people, and believing that they can make up for their mistakes. And I definitely believe that belonging to a sports/extra curricular club can be really important for kids at risk of ‘going off the rails’, and I would want to do everything I could to keep a child part of the club.

So everyone agrees the lad ignored the rules. Breaking the rules resulted in an unfortunate and entirely preventable incident. The question is what the appropriate sanction should be. No one is 'baying for blood'. They are arguing over suspension, expulsion, apology, and rather bizarrely 'gardening'.

But he was reprimanded for riding a skateboard in the building, ignored the warning, did it again and injured someone. At the age of 12 he needs a punishment to make him wake up and realise that he’s at the age of criminal responsibility and he can’t just do as he likes regardless of others.

I think an exclusion is over the top but this is absolutely not an accident. Whilst he will have in no way intended to have hurt anyone he has done something consciously he's been told multiple times not to do and for this reason.

An accident is two people walking round a corner into each other. There's clearly someone at fault here.

It was an accident, although caused by the boy breaking the rules.

If I were his parent, the skateboard would be gone for an indefinite period until he understood the ramifications of his actions.

He sounds like he's been allowed to get away with being a prick bit naughty for too long.

Better to get him in check now, for his own future, than allow him to shrug a "soz" and carry on.

@Lovelysausagedogscrumpy yes an accident because he did not intend to hit someone. He's 12 , very normal to not understand consequences/risk take. Yes there should be a consequence but my point was expulsion is extreme.

Not really. The poster assumes this child has learnt nothing from the fact that the club has already punished him, sneers at the fact that he is "troubled", and wants to demonise and punish him further. If you sanctify compliance with the rules, you need to ensure you comply yourself.

And all of that is an outright lie.

@ancientgran

"I disagree that we don't sentence based on outcome. If you punch someone only intending to give him a bloody nose but he falls, bangs his head and dies you won't be sentenced for giving him a bloody nose."

That's nonsense.
A punch to the face is an intent to cause harm.
Scooting on a skateboard is an intent to ignore a rule he probably (wrongly) thought a bit petty or unimportant. That's the intent. Quite separate from the outcome.
And you're wrong anyway, intent is very significant in law and sentencing.
And as for your comments are making amends by offering some sort of service -that's the basis of community service and restorative justice.

I disagree that he didn’t deliberately hurt anyone. He was reprimanded for riding his skateboard inside the building. Presumably it was explained to him how dangerous that could be, and at the age of 12 he should have some appreciation of that. But he chose to ignore the warning, did it again and injured someone badly as a result. So no, not an accident. Not stupid either - I’d use the word ‘wilful’.

If someone intentionally drinks and drives then hits someone, is that just an "accident" too because they didn't intend to hit someone?

Accidents are unexpected outcomes. Hitting someone while skating on a skateboard in a building is not an unexpected outcome.

While I think that a suspension is called for, I am wary of pandering to a WhatsApp baying mob. I would definitely not give in to their demands, so expulsion would not by on my list of punishments.

Do the main players in the WhatsApp group have a connection to the injured woman? Why are they kicking off and thinking that they should be listened to?

It all hinges on: "...was told he is not allowed skateboard in the building" and "has had several minor reprimands," which I understand as: "he ignores instructions and does what he likes!" In other words, he was being disobedient, and not giving a toss about his actions. He should be punished for this, and if that means expulsion, so be it. And why did his parents allow him to take his skateboard there in the first place?! Presumably they have allowed / enabled his seemingly cocky attitude thus far?

Neither, as I've made clear more than once on this thread. Why does it have to be one extreme or the other with nothing in between? We punish him severely but short of outright expulsion, and we make it clear that if there is any repetition he will be out. This is not a child who has a reputation for bad behaviour off the pitch within the club.

Depends on whether the risks and possible consequences were explained to him when he was warned not to ride the skateboard inside the building the first time. If it was, and he ignored it, then it wasn’t an accident, it was a wilful disregard of the safety of others because it interfered with what he wanted himself.

So you don’t think competitive parents demanding a 12 year old is excluded is OTT? I bet the motivation behind it is so their precious child doesn’t have as much completion.
And yes some of the post are ridiculous - like the one comparing it to drink driving 🙄

People going on about it being an accident. Yes, he hadn't knocked into her deliberately, but he had been given prior warning not to skateboard in the lobby.
I wouldn't lose any sleep over him being expelled.

Where does it say he has done this before and been warned for it?

I didn’t say punish him severely, I said find a punishment that teaches him that his actions have consequences, for himself as well as his victim. And whether he has a reputation for bad behaviour or not is irrelevant. He had been warned, ignored it, and injured someone as a result. And a lot of people on here are trying to find any excuse to minimise that.

I totally agree with the course of action taken. Yes, he was doing something he was told not to - but don't all kids at some stage? - and it was a genuine accident. He sounds like a nice boy and hopefully has learned something from this. He does need to be able to remain engaged with his sport if he has the potential to go off the rails without direction - anyone with half a brain can see which is the best option there.

The other parents are being dicks.

If he has been told many times then expulsion is appropriate. He caused serious injury.

If that’s not the case then there should at least be consequences or sanctions. He needs to understand the severity of the situation.

I don't feel I have enough information to say whether I think expulsion would be the appropriate punishment or not. For me, his response would be key - is he genuinely remorseful?

I do think though, that at 12 and having been told no skateboarding in the building, he should have been capable of inferring that the prohibition was safety-related and not just the adults being fun-sponges.

Given that his previous reprimands have been for arguing with the ref (on the pitch) it could be a good lesson for him that rules are for reasons, and are therefore to be followed. But whether he's capable of 'getting' that lesson is likely to be closely tied to genuine remorse, which is why his response to this incident is so important.

He arrived and left the club alone, he was told no skateboarding in the building when he arrived on it.

from the OPs third post.

His family don't attend the club and are presumably disinterested in his achievements or progress. Perhaps he has no responsible adult fighting his corner and the other parents know this, hence their confidence in being able to get him banned if they make a big enough fuss.