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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No, 12 year olds cannot consent.

63 replies

lyson · 27/01/2023 13:45

twitter.com/wrong_speak/status/1618590726782353411?s=46&t=mtT5I3nmNkfIwzYPvhTInA

Link to a video on Twitter where a man is saying that there could be "exceptional" 12 year olds who could consent to sex with an adult.

Where is all this heading?

OP posts:
Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 27/01/2023 15:30

It is illegal for a child under sixteen to have sexual intercourse , ‘consenting’ or not. So anyone who is facilitating this activity is an accessory to illegal behaviour.

AspieHow · 27/01/2023 15:49

No, we should not as a society be okay with grown men wanting to rape our children. I honestly think people like this man shouldn't be part of our society

WestBridgewater · 27/01/2023 15:53

ZeroFuchsGiven · 27/01/2023 15:07

I posted on another thread yesterday that 13 year old girls having sex were sexually abused and not just brats or doing it for attention or because they liked it as quoted by another poster.

I was called in this order:
Ridiculous
Naive
Young
Insane
Pushing an agenda
Skewed by the area of work im in (I work in the leisure industry so no idea what that comment even meant)

Thank you for restoring my faith that there are indeed normal people on this site as I was quite upset by those comments and the thought that not just 1 but 2 posters were telling me I was wrong.

You’re not alone at all. So many on here have the mentality that everyone else is doing it so it’s ok when it’s totally not the case. It’s as though the expression ‘everyone else is doing it’ negates any parental responsibility.

I worked with a woman who told us that she was 13 when she lost her virginity to her 19 year old paedophile boyfriend and if you had spoken to her at the time she would have told you that she loved him and that it was completely her decision to have sex with him. Looking back now as an adult she can see that it was not right and he groomed her.

NameChange005 · 27/01/2023 15:57

ZeroFuchsGiven · 27/01/2023 15:07

I posted on another thread yesterday that 13 year old girls having sex were sexually abused and not just brats or doing it for attention or because they liked it as quoted by another poster.

I was called in this order:
Ridiculous
Naive
Young
Insane
Pushing an agenda
Skewed by the area of work im in (I work in the leisure industry so no idea what that comment even meant)

Thank you for restoring my faith that there are indeed normal people on this site as I was quite upset by those comments and the thought that not just 1 but 2 posters were telling me I was wrong.

It's not a majority view. It is absolutely abnormal and most parents would be devastated if it were their child.

HermioneKipper · 27/01/2023 16:00

Vile.

If this dude came within 20 foot of my kids I’d knock his teeth out

AshTreesEverywhere · 27/01/2023 16:07

Onnabugeisha · 27/01/2023 14:51

Thankfully this view is going the way of the Dinosaur.

Nigerias age of consent is still 11
Many countries still have age of consent lower than 16
Some countries are sneaky and say if you’re married, you’re old enough to consent regardless of age but then allow child marriage.

www.ageofconsent.net/world

This is wrong. The age of consent in Nigeria is 18.

Octopusmittens · 27/01/2023 16:09

This man should be heading to Prison (and throw away the key).

Justasec321 · 27/01/2023 16:12

WestBridgewater · 27/01/2023 15:53

You’re not alone at all. So many on here have the mentality that everyone else is doing it so it’s ok when it’s totally not the case. It’s as though the expression ‘everyone else is doing it’ negates any parental responsibility.

I worked with a woman who told us that she was 13 when she lost her virginity to her 19 year old paedophile boyfriend and if you had spoken to her at the time she would have told you that she loved him and that it was completely her decision to have sex with him. Looking back now as an adult she can see that it was not right and he groomed her.

So many on here have the mentality that everyone else is doing it so it’s ok when it’s totally not the case. It’s as though the expression ‘everyone else is doing it’ negates any parental responsibility.

We don't though.

I have been here a long time now. And those posters who say "everyone is doing it" are a tiny, tiny minority.

On the other hand the ones who celebrate it and are all jolly hockey sticks are not from round here! I know....taps side of nose!

DOBARDAN · 27/01/2023 16:12

Makes me feel physically sick, what future for our children.

I’m old enough to remember a time when men wouldn’t dare talk openly about their perversions like this,
unfortunately, if things carry on as they are, this will become normal and the pressures on the very young will be enormous,
I can’t bear thinking about it, it is so, so disgusting, and depressing.

x2boys · 27/01/2023 16:14

ZeroFuchsGiven · 27/01/2023 15:07

I posted on another thread yesterday that 13 year old girls having sex were sexually abused and not just brats or doing it for attention or because they liked it as quoted by another poster.

I was called in this order:
Ridiculous
Naive
Young
Insane
Pushing an agenda
Skewed by the area of work im in (I work in the leisure industry so no idea what that comment even meant)

Thank you for restoring my faith that there are indeed normal people on this site as I was quite upset by those comments and the thought that not just 1 but 2 posters were telling me I was wrong.

I don't think any 13 year should be having sex ,but what if it was two.13 year olds having sex with each other ?

Cocobutt · 27/01/2023 16:16

12 year olds can say yes and want sex - that is not the same as consenting.

They are not emotionally developed enough but to fully understand consent and I guarantee everyone who had sex young (including myself) believed we wanted it at the time but when we look back we were definitely taken advantage of.

LaLuz7 · 27/01/2023 16:17

x2boys · 27/01/2023 16:14

I don't think any 13 year should be having sex ,but what if it was two.13 year olds having sex with each other ?

In that case you can't say that one is abusing the other. But parents should try their absolute best to prevent it and make it clear they won't condone or facilitate it.

Cocobutt · 27/01/2023 16:20

@ZeroFuchsGiven

Like the OP there are people who believe this.
There will also be peados on here too.

But sometimes some people on here just come on to act like dicks and get a rise out of people because they have nothing better to do.

I believe the majority of the population agree with you and the rest of us on this thread.

I didn’t read that thread but it sickens me to think someone was trying to justify it.

HelloTreacle9 · 27/01/2023 16:23

12 year olds cannot consent to sex with an adult, no. These men and their boundary pushing gets ever more dangerous. As a side note, I told DH this morning that paedophiles were trying to rebrand themselves as Minor-Attracted Persons (MAPs) and he was so visibly shocked he could not find any words of response.

StephanieSuperpowers · 27/01/2023 16:25

I don't think any 13 year should be having sex ,but what if it was two.13 year olds having sex with each other ?

You go to the other parent of the 13 year old and discuss how, between 4 ADULTS you can make sure that this isn't happening. You don't have to avoid parenting your children.

Cuppasoupmonster · 27/01/2023 16:27

LakeTiticaca · 27/01/2023 14:03

It seems to have been removed
(Unsurprisingly)
The only people who would deem this acceptable in any way are paedophiles 🤬

Yep. And I won’t be told I’m just ‘not enlightened enough’ to think sex with children is okay.

IneedanewTV · 27/01/2023 16:27

DOBARDAN · 27/01/2023 16:12

Makes me feel physically sick, what future for our children.

I’m old enough to remember a time when men wouldn’t dare talk openly about their perversions like this,
unfortunately, if things carry on as they are, this will become normal and the pressures on the very young will be enormous,
I can’t bear thinking about it, it is so, so disgusting, and depressing.

Yes same here. Men use to keep quiet about stuff like this. Now it seems to be ok. Didn’t Peter Tatchell say something similar?

IneedanewTV · 27/01/2023 16:28

HelloTreacle9 · 27/01/2023 16:23

12 year olds cannot consent to sex with an adult, no. These men and their boundary pushing gets ever more dangerous. As a side note, I told DH this morning that paedophiles were trying to rebrand themselves as Minor-Attracted Persons (MAPs) and he was so visibly shocked he could not find any words of response.

Not trying - it is happening.

x2boys · 27/01/2023 16:32

WestBridgewater · 27/01/2023 15:53

You’re not alone at all. So many on here have the mentality that everyone else is doing it so it’s ok when it’s totally not the case. It’s as though the expression ‘everyone else is doing it’ negates any parental responsibility.

I worked with a woman who told us that she was 13 when she lost her virginity to her 19 year old paedophile boyfriend and if you had spoken to her at the time she would have told you that she loved him and that it was completely her decision to have sex with him. Looking back now as an adult she can see that it was not right and he groomed her.

I was a teen in the 80,s and it was far more common for young girl,s 13/14,15 yr olds too have boyfriends in their late teens early 20,s it was alway ,s gross but it seemed more acceptable to.some at the time ,thankfully times have changed .

Onnabugeisha · 27/01/2023 16:33

AshTreesEverywhere · 27/01/2023 16:07

This is wrong. The age of consent in Nigeria is 18.

Oh, sorry the website is wrong. It said copyright 2023 on the bottom. That sucks.

ladymactíre · 27/01/2023 16:41

I saw it this morning and I am disgusted. It's outrageous to see individuals talking about this and looking happy. Paedophilia is being normalised under our eyes and I'm loosing faith in humanity.

picklemewalnuts · 27/01/2023 16:49

Ironically I had to tell Twitter my age to be allowed to see the video.

I then couldn't watch to the end. The rage was debilitating.

2bazookas · 27/01/2023 16:50

To the police station, court, prison, the sex offenders register, unemployment.....

stbrandonsboat · 27/01/2023 17:09

All manner of degenerates have managed to browbeat the population into accepting their disgusting lifestyles by altering language used to describe themselves and to have people who object villified and cancelled, so it stands to reason it's only a matter of time before the government lowers the age of consent in order to not appear to be discriminating against paedophiles. People like us will be branded paedophilophobic and visited by the police who will threaten us with arrest - this has already happened to someone I hasten to add.

Expect to be regularly bombarded with brainwashing material aimed at forcing the population into accepting more and more paraphilias in public places as well. Perhaps training days at work to force everyone to accept Dave from accounts when he turns up to the office in a pink baby doll outfit with his genitalia on full display.

Think I'm exaggerating? Just look how far we've fallen in the last 10 years.

Untitledsquatboulder · 27/01/2023 17:22

lyson · 27/01/2023 13:49

Yet in California 12 year olds can consent to taking hormones and god knows what without their parents knowledge

Well medical consent is another matter. I dont think a 12 year old should be able to consent to sex or puberty blockers but I do think they should have a say, and sometimes a very major say, about what happens medically to their body if they are able to understand what they are deciding. As a parent that can be pretty scary, esp in combination with serious illness or big life-changing decisions but would you refuse a 13 year old girl an abortion - or insist a 14 year old had one? Or insist a 12 year old have an above the knee amputation to improve mobility against their will?

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