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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my friend is being unreasonable

113 replies

TheWhisker · 27/01/2023 12:56

My closest friend mentioned that there may be drinks this Saturday. Something we do regularly as a group of four.

I asked if drinks were still on and was told that they were and that Harry, Ashley and Leo would be going. I asked if I was invited and he said no. I thought he was joking at first but he's serious. I questioned this with him and got called some unpleasant names for questioning it.

Previous to this we haven't been as close as usual but as he mentioned the drinks to me last week i thought that he's being deeply unkind to now exclude me like this. He's gone on the attack a few times recently calling me personal insults. This really is the straw that broke the camel's back though. I always go out with this group and I'm the only one to be excluded. AiBU to be upset?

OP posts:

Original poster

TheWhisker · 12/02/2023 22:21

@nofluffsgiven I have work friends but no one that I socialise with outside of work. The group were my closest friends.

OP posts:

nofluffsgiven · 12/02/2023 22:31

TheWhisker · 12/02/2023 22:21

@nofluffsgiven I have work friends but no one that I socialise with outside of work. The group were my closest friends.

I'm the same I have no close friends anymore these days since I had my last baby, nobody wants to know. I have quite a few acquaintances but nobody I'm close to. It's crap getting older and losing people isn't it? 😔

Merryoldgoat · 12/02/2023 22:32

Then you need to do a serious amount of work on yourself if these people were your best friends.

Original poster

TheWhisker · 15/02/2023 21:10

TheWhisker · 12/02/2023 22:21

@nofluffsgiven I have work friends but no one that I socialise with outside of work. The group were my closest friends.

It's just awful :( It feels like such a lonely world sometimes. Just know that you matter.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheWhisker · 15/02/2023 21:11

Merryoldgoat · 12/02/2023 22:32

Then you need to do a serious amount of work on yourself if these people were your best friends.

I know :(

OP posts:

CornishIrish · 15/02/2023 23:30

I had to remake a whole friendship group after a divorce. Volunteering is brilliant for meeting people and so are clubs and courses. Get yourself connected to some nice new friends and in the meantime treat yourself very kindly. Do something absolutely lovely for you that you would hope a real friend would do for you.

Original poster

TheWhisker · 19/02/2023 10:09

CornishIrish · 15/02/2023 23:30

Thank you CornishIrish. I really enjoy creative writing and there's a group near me that writes, so i'm going to join that in the hopes of extending my social circle.

In the meantime, my ex-friend is obviously saying things about me to another mutual friend he sees every few weeks as this mutual friend has blocked me. I am quite surprised that I am still on ex-friends mind to be honest, seeing as he seems to have taken such a dislike to me.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheWhisker · 25/02/2023 17:56

Just an update on this situation. It's been about a month since he stopped talking to me. I have since bumped into him around three times and I am certain that he saw me but he hasn't acknowledged me any of these times. This from someone I spoke to everyday. My very best friend. All because I confronted him over his unkind behaviour.

OP posts:

Nanaof1 · 26/08/2023 02:33

TheWhisker · 27/01/2023 20:47

He's in a much better situation now financially.

Show quote history

Just read this and though it's old, I just wanted to let OP know that they were being thought about.

M4J4 · 26/08/2023 03:31

Zombie uprising but how are you now @TheWhisker ? Hope you have cut this twat out of your life and made better friends.

littleripper · 26/08/2023 03:44

I had this, it's because you remind him of being poor. And he's a dick.

Codlingmoths · 26/08/2023 03:50

Forget about the drinks specifically op, they were a lucky break that they meant you are NOT stuck with a friend like this dickwad. Practice some really basic lines if it ever comes up- pull out some parts of this! yes x? Honeslty we used to be quite good friends and I’d be paying for things when he was skint but then he turned out to be a real dick, I spent so long getting over him being genuinely nasty to me, and looking back I don’t know why I kept talking to him, he was so uninterested in anything to do with me and wanted to moan on endlessly about his own problems. He’s just really selfish and unkind. So I’m well rid!

and move on - life will be better for not having him in it.

silverspider05 · 29/08/2023 19:49

I too had a 'best friend' like this. He spent years on and off saying snide nasty things and posting shite on the internet when he didnt get his way or like what i did or who i was dating, after one particular day where several nasty things were said to me I stopped talking to him because if it. A week later he said 'are you gonna talk to me now?' I said no I needed a bit more time and space from him. He ended up texting a tirade of abuse to me, including stating I deserved it when I was raped and if it happened again he would let it. I had to get the police involved and get my number changed etc. I know for a fact he and his gf would purposefully exclude me from things, say things to other people about me, minimise what they were doing and make out I was trying to destroy their relationship when in reality I just wanted him to leave me alone. People like this are not worth your time or energy as they will just break you in the end.

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