To think my friend is being unreasonable

[TheWhisker]

My closest friend mentioned that there may be drinks this Saturday. Something we do regularly as a group of four.

I asked if drinks were still on and was told that they were and that Harry, Ashley and Leo would be going. I asked if I was invited and he said no. I thought he was joking at first but he's serious. I questioned this with him and got called some unpleasant names for questioning it.

Previous to this we haven't been as close as usual but as he mentioned the drinks to me last week i thought that he's being deeply unkind to now exclude me like this. He's gone on the attack a few times recently calling me personal insults. This really is the straw that broke the camel's back though. I always go out with this group and I'm the only one to be excluded. AiBU to be upset?

You're not being over sensitive. Your "friends" a using prick.

Find new friends and block.

I just feel that perhaps I should have just accepted that I wasn't invited any longer.

I've supported him through so much and I feel sad that he gives nothing back.

Look, you're much better off without Harry, Ashley and especially Leo, he's the worst. You know he once borrowed a book from Gordon. Well, he didn't give it back for three months and when he did, it had curled up at the corners and all the rude words had been highlighted in pink. No love, I'd stay away from the lot of them.

I’m not sure how you have come to this point with your own feelings of self esteem that you would want to go out with someone who is so rude, insulting and offhand. There is a World full of people out there ready to be discovered and to become friends with. Take up new hobbies or join a club but don’t give this person the time of day. The time spent with this person do something to promote self improvement eg go to a gym, swim, read a book quite frankly, anything.

I shouldn't really be giving this person the time of day should I?

No. It’s a hard way to learn that someone is not worth your time, but he’s not worth your time.

No.

Please do some work on your self esteem

This. You need to decide he isn't worth your time and certainly isn't a friend.

He included you as long as you were useful, it sounds like. Unpleasant.

Give them a dry slap

Send a message about how unkind he was then block them all so they can't reply to it find better people

No you shouldn't be giving him the time of day. I wouldn't even bother texting him again. If he gets in contact with you leave him on read.

Thanks everyone. He makes out that I am mad and has done on lots of occasions. Friendship is definately over.

I know that when he's out with the others he'll be telling them how crazy I am that I was upset over him excluding me. They can all have a laugh at my expense.

@ITriedToStopSwearingButICunt fab user name

You’re obviously no longer required now he can pay for himself. What a parasite.

What I don't understand is why he would mention the night out and then when I ask, I'm not welcome. I struggle with rejection as it is.

Because he’s a twat OP

For some reason he wanted to hurt you. I hope you find better friends.

So you are only invited when he wants you to pay for his drinks? Um, not a friend.

OP your friend is not being unreasonable. He's being deliberately hurtful. To tell you about an event you're not invited to is plain spiteful, and designed to make you feel excluded.

Please don't doubt yourself. You deserve loving and supportive friends. Call him out on this or leave the friendship.

I've had friends like this. Unfortunately it's the hard way to learn that if people are friendly when they want something and distant when they don't, they're not your friend. Usually these people delight in hurting you, thinking that you'll still be there if they need you again. It's not your flaw - it's theirs.

Just be aware if his situation changes, or needs help in future, he'll come back. Don't get sucked in!

In future don't pay for a friend having a difficult time. Offer to do a dinner or drinks at home, that everyone contributes to.

Thank you everyone for your kind works of encouragement.

I have felt a bit used by him quite a bit over the past year or so. When I have asked if he wanted to meet up for example, he's said he's too busy or tired, but then he's posted on social media about a last minute trip out with another friend. This has happened a few times now. I've also noticed that he never asks how I am. He's usually always texting about his own life.

Most recently, I told him that my mental wellbeing wasn't great but not once has he asked how I am feeling. Despite him and I texting daily, he bleats on about his own life.

Perhaps this is a friendship that should have been ended way before now.

Move on

He's no friend at all.

I'd never exclude anyone like this, the more the merrier. He sounds unpleasant and I can't imagine why he has any friends!

He made the excuse that another friend had arranged the drinks. If he hadn't mentioned it earlier in the week I wouldn't have been so bothered. I hope they all choke on their drinks 👿

Fingers crossed they have horrible hangovers!

Make some nice plans for tonight, film and a pizza.

Then ghost him

Doesn't sound like you've ever been friends OP. You were just convenient. People like him don't actually have friends, they just have people who are useful to them, who they then discard.

Please work on your self esteem, it's baffling to me that not only have you allowed yourself to be treated like this by this nob for so long, but you're actually questioning whether you're in the wrong here.