To think my friend is being unreasonable

[TheWhisker]

My closest friend mentioned that there may be drinks this Saturday. Something we do regularly as a group of four.

I asked if drinks were still on and was told that they were and that Harry, Ashley and Leo would be going. I asked if I was invited and he said no. I thought he was joking at first but he's serious. I questioned this with him and got called some unpleasant names for questioning it.

Previous to this we haven't been as close as usual but as he mentioned the drinks to me last week i thought that he's being deeply unkind to now exclude me like this. He's gone on the attack a few times recently calling me personal insults. This really is the straw that broke the camel's back though. I always go out with this group and I'm the only one to be excluded. AiBU to be upset?

Sooo, you're not really friends with the others, they're his friends? If he wants to go out with his friends, he doesn't actually have to invite you every time.

Unless its at his house, why is he allowed to be gatekeeper of who meets up?

He's not your friend, OP; he's a user. I bet if you thought about it you'd remember many, many times when he was nice to you because he wanted something from you.

That's why OP isn't invited- Ashley never got on with her and, after what happened last time, Leo isn't sticking up for her anymore.

Who pays for the drinks when you go out as a group?

He sounds like 5 year old, do grown adults really behave like this?! It may be painful op but move on, he's not a friend worth having in your life

Because OP isn't friends with the other two, and (like anyone) can decide who he wants to invite out?

That Ashley, I bet she put Leo up to it.

Harry's going as well !!

Is he the spare ?

So... I could be wrong, but he's going out for drinks with friends that you say are more 'his' friends than yours and you're not invited?

Eh, yes, this is a thing. People go out with other people sometimes.

I'm a bit more concerned about the personal insults thing.

In the bin with this tosser

Obviously you are not unreasonable to be upset by a close friend excluding and insulting you.

I was as told that they were and that Harry, Ashley and Leo would be going

Hmm, that acronyms to H.A.L. Coincidence? I don't think so...

Is Sharon going though?

Sooo, you're not really friends with the others, they're his friends? If he wants to go out with his friends, he doesn't actually have to invite you every time.

Yep. Initially I thought he was being awful, but our starting to look as though you expect to be invited to everything he does on a Friday.

If you regularly go to the pub with him as a four, who are the other two on those occasions?

Just get some standards and stop hanging onto people who don't want you around. Like of all the people in the entire world, you know for definite this lot are tits so go out with any other humans at all, instead.
Simple.

He probably did it to hurt the Op.

But he mentioned the drinks outing to me last week and that he would keep me posted. The others are my friends. We're just not as close as I am with this one.

Yes probably.

The conversation went a bit like this but wording has been changed slightly for as much anonymousity as possible:
Me - are we on for drinks tomorrow?
Him: well me, X, X and X are going.
Me: am I invited?
Him: no.

I then questioned him why as I'm always part of the group who go. He came back with a bullshit reason and said I was a few negative things. I have done nothing but support this friend.

Until recently I and another friend has been buying his drinks and his food as he's been in financial difficulty.

Is he now not in financial difficulty so you're not useful to him anymore?

Take the message. He sounds like a deeply unkind person. I think it’d be goody ones the friendship anyway

He's in a much better situation now financially.

I really appreciate your replies.

I do wonder if I'm just being oversensitive.