Is 28 and a half too old to be living at home?

[DanseAvecLesLoups]

I see the last thread got binned via the mumsnet wheel of randomness.

I’m 28. I’m married with two children and two dogs. I have a mortgage and a professionally regulated profession. I’m, in my opinion, a fully-fledged adult and a long weekend “at home” is taxing. I would absolutely loathe to live with my parents (despite loving them very much and seeing them often).

I have a friend who still lives with her parents. They get on well, she doesn’t really earn enough to live the lifestyle she wants and to pay rent. She also travels a fair amount and doesn’t want to be stuck in tenancy that she doesn’t make sufficient use of. Everyone in the set up seems happy.

Each to their own.

No, it’s not too old. You live however you want to, it’s no one’s business.

I’ve just realised I’m not 28, I’m 27 😂😬🙄

It depends on the person and their circumstances doesn't it?

When I was 28 I was married with 2 children and a teen DSD.

My DSD lived at home on and off until she was 28, with long periods of living abroad and then coming back home. At 30 she's now living with her fiancé and has a 6 month old.

I fully expect my eldest dd whose about to turn 20, to still be living at home at 28. She's autistic so it will be some time before she's ready to be completely independent.

My youngest dd is 16, and I think she'll move out in her early 20's, finances permitting.

My younger sister lived at home on and off, with large amounts of time spent in flat-shares with friends and living down south. Until she was 30, when she moved in with her future husband.

That made me laugh. 😂

I don’t know…. It would have been too old for me but I doubt my DM would have let me be a full adult. I would have been required to say if I was home for dinner ( perfectly reasonable) and been given lots of unsolicited advice. I also would have felt weird about having sex “under her roof” but that’s just me. You might have a different set up.

Yes and no lol, I moved out older than that, one of my biggest regrets was not getting help and pushing myself to leave a lot earlier.

Yeah, 28 and a half is waaaay to old! If she just turned 28 last month, that would still be absolutely fine!

I think it depends. I have a friend in her late thirties who has never moved out (except for university) and has always lived at home with her mum and similarly aged sister. They all live together in the same way housemates would, sharing bills and chores and meals and generally being a family. I suspect my friend is asexual (though she’s never said as much) and she doesn’t want children. As she says - why would she move out of a comfortable home where everyone in the house has love and laughter and their favourite people in the world around every day, to go and live alone in a small flat somewhere, just to make a point about “being an adult”?

I think that’s a totally different situation to somebody who is basically an overgrown lazy teenager who doesn’t pitch in or contribute much and stays at home just because it’s cheap and easy.

I moved out at 21 and never looked back. I think it's easy to get into the habit of relying on parents well into adult years and it's a trend that needs reversing

My brothers in law are still at home aged 40 and 42 although they could pass for moody teenagers

Well that's what comes of leaving home too young!

yes

And a half? 🤨

You’re not wrong. I feel about 108 some days.

Why do you actually care?

Its no-one else's business really as long as all parties are okay with the situation.

I would personally be very judgemental about someone who still lived with their parents at 28.

But I'd be more judgemental about a fully grown adult describing their age as '[any age] and a half'. And a half
What the hell kind of human being describes their age like that beyond 12?

28 and a half Reminds me of writing age 7 and 2 months on my drawings

This has to be the most boring recurring question on MN - OP are you the same poster that asks every month or so?

I never understand why it’s even a thing, if everyone is happy with the arrangement who cares? People are different and in different situations. Who cares about an arbitrary number? It only seems on MN that as soon as your child turns 18 they’re suddenly an adult and you have to throw them out, cut them off and never do anything for them.

Plus who counts their ages in half years once over 11?

@Chocolatelabradorsarethebest I thought this exact same thing. Someone posted a couple of months ago asking if 27 was too old to be at home and suddenly there’s another post asking if 28 is too old 😅

Entirely depends on the circumstances.

But your question perplexes me…
Too old for what?
And… ‘living at home’ what do you mean?

The half makes all the difference. 😏

I think it’s sensible to live with parents and save for a house deposit if you can. Lots of family and friends kids have done it and moved out with a big house deposit in their late 20s, early 30s. I hope my kids choose to do that.

Anyone who describes themselves as “28 and a half is too young to be living away from their parents’ home. (On their street, their town, their planet, the unrevised, etc)

I’m sorry but it totally depends on circumstances.

Assuming someone has a job and can afford rent or buy and isn’t saving for a deposit, then yes it’s time to move out.
Not everyone is in that situation!

Not being goady, I promise, as you are very measured and objective about your friend’s choices, but just interested in whether you feel that you’re more ‘adult’ than someone of your age who is still living at home?