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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is right? Very trivial

79 replies

SaltedButty · 26/01/2023 16:00

A couple are going out for Person A's family party on Friday night.

This couple hardly ever go out in the evening for drinks/parties and Person B states they don't have anything to wear.

Person B also states they are skint until payday and have no money in their account.

Person A states that they will pay for/lend them money until payday to buy a top.

Person A will send Person B money when they find a top

Person B thinks that Person A should just send them money now. Person A is notoriously bad at answering calls so Person B is worried about hanging around a shop waiting for bank transfer.

OP posts:
Vallmo47 · 26/01/2023 16:03

If someone is lending you money you don’t get to dictate the terms of the loan in my opinion.

44PumpLane · 26/01/2023 16:03

I would doubt person B genuinely has nothing they could wear, but if A is loaning money how much do they send? £20, £50?

Is B good or bad at paying back? Likely to spend more just because it's there.

Need more info.

PifflePishAndPap · 26/01/2023 16:04

I can't follow that. Why don't you just say which one you are and who the other one is? Goodness me.

Regretsandregrets · 26/01/2023 16:05

Person A is very generous. Person B should not moan.

sunseaandme · 26/01/2023 16:07

Give the person cash and they can give the money back if they don't find a top

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 26/01/2023 16:07

Person B should borrow a top if she can’t afford one.

Also the vagueness of lend money vs pay for an item is going to end badly.

ICanHideButICantRun · 26/01/2023 16:09

So you are B and your partner is A? If he wants you to have a new top to wear to his family's do, he should give you the money for it in advance, not lend it to you.

BruceAndNosh · 26/01/2023 16:12

Unless Person B has a completely empty wardrobe, they DO have something to wear. The y just want a new top.
Also if they are skint, they shouldn't be buying clothes. What about food?

donttellmehesalive · 26/01/2023 16:12

ICanHideButICantRun · 26/01/2023 16:09

So you are B and your partner is A? If he wants you to have a new top to wear to his family's do, he should give you the money for it in advance, not lend it to you.

I do t think he wants her to have a new top.

She said she has nothing to wear and is skint. He said he'd lend her some money.

How are you reading it and finding that he did something wrong?

Eyeofthestorm7 · 26/01/2023 16:15

If person B can’t manage their money they should not have a new top but save up for one. Borrowing money just leads to falling out in my experience.

ItWasntMyFault · 26/01/2023 16:19

It's a family party not a black tie do - person B should wear something they already own and not borrow money for something they don't really need

merlotlover · 26/01/2023 16:19

So really it's that person doesn't have anything "new" to wear ?

5128gap · 26/01/2023 16:20

Unless you've a history of poor money management or dishonesty about shared finances, your partner sounds uptight and controlling. I wouldn't want to be with someone who'd make me jump through hoops for the price of a top.

ARoughRide · 26/01/2023 16:28

ItWasntMyFault · 26/01/2023 16:19

It's a family party not a black tie do - person B should wear something they already own and not borrow money for something they don't really need

This.
There will be something in the wardrobe.

zingally · 26/01/2023 16:28

"Beggars can't be choosers", and nor can they dictate the terms of a loan.

Personally I strongly doubt that person B has nothing to wear. The family aren't going to care what you rock up in, within reason!

Ragwort · 26/01/2023 16:31

Of course they've got something to wear ... or go to a charity shop and get a new top for less than £5. Absolutely ridiculous to 'demand' a new outfit to go to a family party.

Swiftswatch · 26/01/2023 16:34

Why would anyone spend money going out when they have borrowed money for a new top in the first place??

Glorianna · 26/01/2023 16:35

Person A will send Person B money when they find a top

Person A is a controlling twat. Dump him.

Sartre · 26/01/2023 16:37

Person A is being controlling and weird. Why would they insist on B finding the top first, a normal person would just send the money and tell them to buy whatever with it. Honestly, I’d just give my DH money if he needed it rather than loan it.

stopringingme · 26/01/2023 16:38

Buy something in a charity shop they will have loads donated after Christmas for a couple of pounds.

jtaeapa · 26/01/2023 16:40

Person B just needs to wear something they already own. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t smart enough.

Els1e · 26/01/2023 16:41

Person B is unreasonable

KillingLoneliness · 26/01/2023 16:43

Is this a married couple/Long term relationship or newish?
Personally myself and my DH have had a joint account since we moved in together so our money has always been shared BUT I can say with certainty even in the early days my DH would have just given me the money or his card to go get something with and he wouldn’t ask for the money back unless he was absolutely desperate and vice versa.

Cakeandcardio · 26/01/2023 16:54

If you are person B and person A is your husband then fuck that. So he holds the purse strings because you presumably earn less? Mean.

thistimelastweek · 26/01/2023 17:07

Person A wants to make a bank transfer at the point of purchase whilst Person B hangs around twiddling their thumbs?
And is Person B meant to be grateful?
Person A should shove their generosity up their arse.