To start correcting people on my name?

[ThatsNotMyFingName]

NC’d.

My name is Alexandra. Not a hard name to pronounce or spell. Not a weird, unique or “strange” name. I was born early 90’s and I feel it’s quite common with women in my age bracket.

I am constantly being called Alexander. Which is the male version.

Some teachers used to call it me when I was at school. I get called it in the doctors surgery, when they call my name over the tannoy. When speaking on the phone and I’m giving my details they refer to me as it.

I get called it at work, even though my full name is in my email address and signature.

I politely tell people my actual name and how to pronounce it. But it’s falling on deaf ears.

I feel like shouting at people “For fucks sake my name is Alexandra. It’s really not hard to pronounce”.

Is it unreasonable to be this annoyed and want to start harshly correcting people?

Yanbu.

And it’s a grrrrreat name.

I was too shy as a kid to correct people, as an adult I correct people alllll the time. I too, have a grrrrreat name. 😉

I had a lady called Alexandra calling to my house last week and for some reason I was really panicky about using her name in case I got it wrong. I kept checking her text that she'd signed and practising it. I think I must have thought my brain would say Alexander or some other variation that would be wrong and I really wanted to get it right so maybe it's just a name the brain trips over for some reason, I don't know. Totally correct people though, if I had got it wrong I would have been mortified but more than willing to accept it.

Definitely: correct everyone. Every time. It's the only way.

Polite but firm is what I do. I am not Alexandra but so many people decide that I shouldn't be called by my actual name but some variation of it, almost all of which I hate and none of which is my name. Intensely annoying.

But if I don't correct people they continue with their use of their chosen version and I don't get to be called BY MY NAME! <and breathe>

I sympathise. It seems many people don’t know there’s a difference. I’m sure the Lesleys around feel the same.

But aren't Leslie and Lesley pronounced identically?

Sympathies, OP. It's irritating.

Yea, keep correcting people

If same people at work keep mispronouncing your name

Say "you've known me and worked with me for x years now .. and can see my name written. Can you please try and get my name right. It's upsetting to have to keep telling you that you are calling me the wrong name- it's DRA at the end Alexandra not DER Alexander. "

I changed my name at 18 because people always swapped the middle two letters around the first time they said it and it slowly drove me insane. Literally every teacher, doctor, anyone who saw my name written and had to say it, got it wrong. It was a slow drip, drip, drip from irritation to near homicidal rage after 18 years!

I can appreciate it is annoying although some people might genuinely not hear the difference or might know there is a difference and think they are saying it but their accent just doesnt place enough stress on the R . I wouldn't see any issue with saying, nicely, something like "AlexandRA, AlexanDER is a male name".
I would have been fuming at the person who called you "it" though, how random. Surely you'd just say "they" if you weren't sure about the sex of the person?

Almost everyone under 80 with my name uses a short form. I don't. People sometimes assume they can use the short form for me too, but they never do it for long because I genuinely don't recognise it as my name, so appear to be ignoring them until they switch to my actual name. So the point is got across, inadvertently.

I'm now driving myself nuts trying to figure out your original name.

(My MIL, who has been married to my lovely FIL for almost 60 years, still mispronounces his name by inserting a letter that simply isn't there. And then they called one of their sons after his father, so the whole mispronunciation thing went on all over again. I don't know how he stands it -- it's not even an Alexandra/Alexander-type mix up, more like pronouncing Helen as Heplen, or Tim as Tirm.

But do they do it more than once? I mean, I can imagine a rushed receptionist at the GP might glance at a name and announce Alexander because s/he hasn't looked properly at the list, but then be mortified when you stood up and are - I assume (if we are still allowed to do that) - clearly female.

If it's in writing, it may be spell check is autocorrecting. My name is a conventional one, but not common, and if people (including me) type it in a rush and get a letter wrong outlook changes it to a really quite different name.

But yes, you are absolutely entitled to correct people. You have a fantastic name - strong and beautiful

I'm now driving myself nuts trying to figure out your original name

I'd guess Kristen and Kirsten.

Also intrigued as to how Lesley and Leslie are different.

To repeat offenders I would mispronounce their name back to them
hello Alexander
oh hello Steffan ( if name is Stephen)

I haven’t been called “it“. When saying “It” in my OP it is referring to Alexander. Which definitely does have a very definite difference to my name. No matter the accent.

Yes, they’re pronounced the same - but ask people to write them…

Have you pointed out to them that they have called you by the boy version? I think that might shock them more into pronouncing your name properly rather than a straightforward correction.

What I meant was - many people are unaware there is a male and a female version of AlexX.

But I don’t understand how seeing my name spelt “A L E X A N D R A” makes people think it’s OK to call me Alexander. When it is literally written infront of them.

Nope 😁It isn’t an unknown name but it’s never been particularly popular. Apparently the year it was at its most popular it was still 271st on the ONS most popular names list. There is a well known (in the UK) actress with the name now - I do wonder if subsequent children inflicted with the name have had an easier time of it because of her!

Alexandra is a gooooooorgeous name!

Are you me?! The past few years I am constantly being called the male version of my name, and it's also pronounced differently
(It starts with a D, not typing it for search reasons)

I'm actually at the point of considering changing my name. I'm not male, and sick of being called the male version even when my email says my name, they reply back with the male version

It's very odd. I wanted to call DD Alexandra but DP refuse because he insisted he just couldn't say it and it always came out as Alexander, even though he knew it was wrong.

I've even corrected people
Me "D speaking"
"Hi, did you say it was "male version?"
No, it's D, female version
"Oh ok male version"

We have a Alexander and a Alexandra in the family both got annoyed by people not using the correct name so both are now known as Alex.

I have a more unusual name that I have to tell people they are saying or writing wrong as they seem to give me a whole different name.

Tasmin/ Tamsin?