My MIL is better than yours…

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 2023-01-26T08:10:00+00:00

Just for balance, blatantly inspired by the other thread - genuine sympathies to those with a difficult relationship but I feel like the good MILa don’t often get a look in on here! I adore mine, she’s sweet and loving and dotes on my DC while respecting our role as parents. We text most days just to chat. She looks after my DD one day a week to save us on nursery bills and has offered to babysit both kids the evening of my birthday to DH and I can go out. My life is better with her in it. (And FIL, for the record!)

EarthPunchingBack · 26/01/2023 08:10

❤️

SeatonCarew · 26/01/2023 08:12

👏

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/01/2023 08:13

Mine is great too. Lovely lady.

FIL is deceased

SavoirFlair · 26/01/2023 08:17

YABU.

BettyHumpter · 26/01/2023 08:18

SavoirFlair · 26/01/2023 08:17

YABU.

😂😂😂

MassiveSalad22 · 26/01/2023 08:19

Aw that’s really lovely. Lucky you!

MIL is not compos mentis (in a home) and FIL is very difficult and hates my guts 😄 so yep, you win! Your MIL even sounds more invested than my own mum!

TulipsTwoLips · 26/01/2023 08:21

To be honest there are as many 'I love my MIL' threads reacting to 'I hate my MIL' threads as there are 'I hate my MIL' threads in the first place!

WandaWonder · 26/01/2023 08:22

I love both my ILs and my parents, I am not nor ever will be BFFs with anyone but they are all great with their normal oddities like me and my husband

I could not have imagine having a child if I hated my ils

SticksOutLikeDogsBalls · 26/01/2023 08:22

Mine was one of the most beautiful people I ever knew. In the 25 years I knew her I never once heard her say a bad word about anyone, she would have given anyone the shirt off her back
A truly gracious woman. She has been gone for about 15 years and I still miss her daily

10speckledfrogs · 26/01/2023 08:22

My MIL is amazing

She waited until we were ready for visitors after our first child was born - everyone else swooped in while I was still catheterised and recovering from a big bleed, couldn't move my legs after needing surgery to remove the placenta - was so embarrassed.

she waited, and when she did come she helped by actually caring for me, ushering everyone out and helping my husband get me clean and asking if I was OK before even looking at the baby. (The hospital staff hadn't even changed my pad or wiped the blood off my legs, I couldn't do it myself because my legs were numb, and I couldn't help enough for just my husband to be able to do it, needed two people)

She helped me establish breastfeeding by sitting with me and correcting latch for as long as I needed her - she would come and make me a cup of tea and sit with me for hours while I fed and worried if I was doing it right

She picks up good deals on clothes for my little girl

She is always there for a chat if needed and is so comforting when things are hard (I'm overseas from my own mum) she gives the best hugs

She is always available for a coffee and to set the world to rights, but doesn't impose or assume anything either.

She stands up to the rest of the family for me when I'm having issues with my anxiety and don't want to visit anywhere (I get long periods where I am unable to leave the house and barely functioning)

I feel like she really has my back and cares about me as a person instead of me just being the one who birthed her grandchild

I count her as a genuine friend, I love spending time with her and I love her.

Hellibore · 26/01/2023 08:23

Aw 😊

camperjam · 26/01/2023 08:28

I feel quite sad reading threads like this as I tried for years to get my MIL to like me. I gave up in the end and 2 of her 3 children no longer speak to her.

But I have 2 boys and I'm hoping that I'll be able to be a good MIL to someone one day.

Original poster

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 26/01/2023 08:30

SticksOutLikeDogsBalls · 26/01/2023 08:22

Mine was one of the most beautiful people I ever knew. In the 25 years I knew her I never once heard her say a bad word about anyone, she would have given anyone the shirt off her back
A truly gracious woman. She has been gone for about 15 years and I still miss her daily

❤️

OP posts:

CatLoaf · 26/01/2023 08:31

I used to be so sure I'd be on threads like these, and thought pretty much everyone who moaned about their MN on MIL was unreasonable. I was a dick.

Original poster

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 26/01/2023 08:31

I’m sorry, that does sound really tough. Sounds like it’s her loss in the end.

OP posts:

Original poster

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 26/01/2023 08:32

That was to @camperjam

OP posts:

Original poster

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 26/01/2023 08:33

TulipsTwoLips · 26/01/2023 08:21

To be honest there are as many 'I love my MIL' threads reacting to 'I hate my MIL' threads as there are 'I hate my MIL' threads in the first place!

Well then another one won’t hurt - heaven knows we have enough parking threads!

OP posts:

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 26/01/2023 08:34

YABU Wanna trade?

That said my mums lovely and I know she's an excellent mil to my SIL.

MangshorJhol · 26/01/2023 08:37

I live with mine. And she’s great. When we had kids she came to help out and was awesome (the odd batshit idea..). And in 2019 just before the pandemic they moved from the Midwest (in the US) to where we live and moved in. And it’s been great. I only survived pandemic and homeschooling because of her (DH is a primary care physician so he was on the frontline). She’s opinionated and feisty and funny.

Lalliella · 26/01/2023 08:37

10speckledfrogs · 26/01/2023 08:22

My MIL is amazing

She waited until we were ready for visitors after our first child was born - everyone else swooped in while I was still catheterised and recovering from a big bleed, couldn't move my legs after needing surgery to remove the placenta - was so embarrassed.

she waited, and when she did come she helped by actually caring for me, ushering everyone out and helping my husband get me clean and asking if I was OK before even looking at the baby. (The hospital staff hadn't even changed my pad or wiped the blood off my legs, I couldn't do it myself because my legs were numb, and I couldn't help enough for just my husband to be able to do it, needed two people)

She helped me establish breastfeeding by sitting with me and correcting latch for as long as I needed her - she would come and make me a cup of tea and sit with me for hours while I fed and worried if I was doing it right

She picks up good deals on clothes for my little girl

She is always there for a chat if needed and is so comforting when things are hard (I'm overseas from my own mum) she gives the best hugs

She is always available for a coffee and to set the world to rights, but doesn't impose or assume anything either.

She stands up to the rest of the family for me when I'm having issues with my anxiety and don't want to visit anywhere (I get long periods where I am unable to leave the house and barely functioning)

I feel like she really has my back and cares about me as a person instead of me just being the one who birthed her grandchild

I count her as a genuine friend, I love spending time with her and I love her.

Woah @10speckledfrogs you made me cry! That is lovely. You too OP. What a nice idea for a thread. My MIL was a very sweet quiet lady. Died when DC1 was 2 sadly.

meloonhead · 26/01/2023 08:47

I do enjoy a good old MIL thread on here, but these nice stories are lovely

hiyaqwerty · 26/01/2023 08:53

Mils who want to establish good relationship with dil, will ensure they are doing their best and not becoming overbearing or imposing.
There are mils out there, from the get go have decided they will not get along with dil, they will pick on the smallest of things and make an issue, it tends to be the ones that think no one is good enough for their son.

Having said that, it's not always a case of mil is at fault, some dil will no matter what hate on their mil. Anything good mil does, they will find negativity for it.

Your really lucky if you have mil that you get along with and feeling is mutual.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 26/01/2023 09:32

See the key thing here is where you say...

she’s sweet and loving and dotes on my DC while respecting our role as parents.

My MIL is needy and manipulative and self-centred, while undermining our roles as parents, so...

I would have a lot more affection for her if she was more how you describe yours. She does dote on my DC...and my DH. But she's passive aggressive to me.

Calphurnia88 · 26/01/2023 12:28

My MIL is wonderful.

About 2 months post partum, I was at my absolute lowest - borderline PND. She was visiting and when I opened the door to her all my emotions came out and I burst into tears. She hugged me, told me to get some rest and come down when I'm ready (or she would come up to me when DS was ready for a feed).

She's an angel.

Slowingdownagain · 26/01/2023 12:31

Mine is great too. Sure, sometimes we get on each other's nerves, like all family members do, but she's kind and loves our kids, helps when we ask but isn't intrusive, respects our parenting. My dad lives abroad and my mum is dead, so my in laws are the closest extended family I have. I am luck to have them.