My MIL is better than yours…

[CoffeeWithMyOxygen]

Just for balance, blatantly inspired by the other thread - genuine sympathies to those with a difficult relationship but I feel like the good MILa don’t often get a look in on here!
I adore mine, she’s sweet and loving and dotes on my DC while respecting our role as parents. We text most days just to chat. She looks after my DD one day a week to save us on nursery bills and has offered to babysit both kids the evening of my birthday to DH and I can go out. My life is better with her in it. (And FIL, for the record!)

I read these threads because my own mum is a narcissistic loon, and I need to learn from other people how to be a good MIL someday. Seems like respecting other people's boundaries is a key element.

My MIL taught me everything I know about how to be a mother and grandmother. My own mum certainly didn't.
My MIL loved me unconditionally. I didn't always deserve it, but she did. And she lived for her grandchildren.

I adored my MIL, as everyone who knew her did. We lost her in the summer, though she had been lost to us for longer than that, due to Alzheimers. But I still did six hour return journeys to visit her in her care home to just hold her hand. Not because I'm saintly, but because even just sitting with her for half an hour was still a joy. I'm not remotely woo or sentimental, but being there, I still felt the essence of her.

I was so fortunate to marry into her family..

I wrote on other thread about my MIL, husband is no contact with her, but he was raised by grandma. Boy, she was an angel on earth. Passed away in 2021, I still miss her dearly. Apparently men tend to marry their mothers, I can 100% say his grandma was my soulmate 😂Absolutely fantastic woman, supportive and so nice to me. She had a pair to raise 5 grandchildren including 3 teenage boys.

My MIL is fab too 🥰 and DCs totally adore her and FIL.

My MIL is one of my most favourite people in the world. She’s shown me what a true mother should be when my own mother couldn’t be bothered to. I feel so fortunate that she’s in my life and that she’s my children’s grandma.

I’ve got a DIL now, too, and try my hardest to be a good MIL. We don’t live near each other, although she’d really like us to, but we get on really well, and text a lot. There’s no children, as yet, but I shall absolutely take her lead when it comes to that.

Mine is lovely too.

My dad's mum (my Nan) used to travel over 400 miles to look after us grandkids in the summer holidays while my single parent mum worked full time.

Wonderful joyous memories. My Nan didn't mention my dad and my mum didn't mention her ex.

My first MIL was amazing to me a teenage mum, even though she had 6 kids she never once judged me. She was amazing. Sadly died too young.

My second MIL was a bit of a nutter but she loved her grandchildren so I put up with her. She used to tell me she loved me more than her own sons. 🙄 Probably because I was patient enough to be dragged around the charity shops once a month. I saw her regularly even though her son and I had split up.

I feel so sorry for some of the children in the MIL threads. One recently was about a mum and her PFB who would allow her own mum to babysit but not the MIL.

Mine is amazing. I hate all the MIL bashing threads on here. Most I read are actually a DIL problem not a MIL problem 🤣🤣

Aww, she’d be so happy you said that. Mine is a complete legend, I adore her.
She adds joy to my life in so many ways.

Mine is amazing too, as a family we are much closer to her than my own Mum. She is always there for us when we need her (and when we don't) and is just an all around fun and positive person.

Mine's so lovely that I kept her after the divorce!

My in laws are amazing. They still drive me nuts but I love them to bits 💕
We do clash but we have such a good relationship that we can bicker or even argue and get past it.

I went NC with my own Mum just over a year ago and it was the hardest, but best, decision I’ve ever made. My in laws have stood by me/us through thick and thin.

They have our little boy at the drop of a hat and absolutely dote on him. They do so much for us.

I’ve never seen a nice in-laws/MIL thread before 🥰

I love mine too. She doesn’t offer any practical help but has been an amazing emotional support for me, she set me straight when I was beating myself up for not managing to breastfeed which really helped me come to terms with it. And it’s blossomed from there.

Mine was wonderful, like an extra mother for 22 years.

Her son had an affair and left me, she cut me off and never spoke to me again.

Blood is thicker than water.

Oh gosh. My late MIL was amazing. A warm, gracious, generous, put her family first woman.

When I got engaged to her son she wrote me a wonderful letter which I still have and treasure. She promised to love me like I was her own daughter and she did.

I could write volumes about her. She was perfect imperfect too. She was real. We had one argument in 20 years but we laughed it off and solved it within the same night.

She loved all her grandchildren so deeply.

Her son, my DH is a wonderful human being. Largely down to her. FIL is lovely too but they were separated and when together she was the default parent.

Love her so much. Miss her so much. So lucky to have known her and loved her.

My own mum died when I was very young and my Dad isn't that involved. More interested in her third wife's family.

My in laws are loving and caring.

Mine doesn’t like me, makes me sad I’ve done nothing apart from make her son happy, she’s very snobby and my family are very down to earth and I think she just looks down on me, but then she was like this with his other exes too so I know I’m not the problem.

@10speckledfrogs Awww your post has made me cry 💖💖💖💖💖 your MIL sounds amazing - & so do you x

My MiL is an ordinary woman, just like most of us. Sometimes she says things I disagree with. Sometimes it's obvious from her greater life experience she thinks I'm doing something wrong. Sometimes we hold very different viewpoints. Sometimes she has bought my DC things that inconvenienced me, or given them food I'd have preferred them not to have.
But, she is a woman who has lived a long time, had experiences I've never had, successfully raised children to adulthood long before I did. She is warm, kind, generous, and she loves me, her son and our children. She is a member of my family, as is her right, and I don't expect perfection from her anymore than I do from anyone else, or she does from me.
Throughout our 45 years we've treated each other with respect and kindness and have both reaped what we've sown.

After 2 not so great MIL’s (first one told me that I should never have DC and the second couldn’t comprehend her DS did the dirty on me) I am 3rd time lucky. DMIL treats my boys like her own DGC and has taken on me being vegan as a new cookery challenge, she is a rather good cook too. Always there to listen and is active in helping with DC when we visit, she was a foundation teacher for many years so maybe this is why she loves being hands on. I feel really very lucky this time round 💚

I have been lucky with my in laws too, they are absolutely fabulous, I often go shopping with MIL.

I also had a good relationship with my ex MIL/FIL at the time, just a shame about the son they raised 🤣

I have a good relationship for my MIL too, (Shame about FIL).

We always joke if me and my husband divorced I'd keep MIL because she prefers me to her own son, the daughter she never had 😂 Very hands on with DC too.

My mil is fantastic too. She adores my little boy, looks after him if we ask her to! (Not too much obviously but it’s nice to know she will 😅) She is babysitting on Saturday for us whilst she go to the cinema! She is on her own and loves his company and my little boy’s face just lights up when he sees her! I honestly can’t understand why some women on here want to deprive both their MIL and their children of this relationship

Oh this is lovely.

Mine is an angel too. Things can be a bit tricky with my own family but me and my MIL are such good friends. She helps out with child care, offers support whenever we need it without being over bearing.

She looks after me and supports me as if I was her own.

Not sure what I would do without her!

My MIL is great. Very funny and kind hearted. Never complains about anyone

Mine is great. We don’t live in each other’s pockets and she never got involved in childcare (she has better things to do) but I enjoy her company and having her in my life.