To dislike and resent my dh because of his snoring?

[Toadybum]

He refuses to do anything about it. He often twitches in his sleep as well.

I've put up with it for years. I miss going to bed in peace so much. I wear earplugs but they don't help with the vibration and the twitching. I've started being resentful and grumpy during the day. I am currently in dds room - she's away at uni but I feel uncomfortable being in there. He's annoyingly wounded in the morning which makes me want to shout at him. It's honestly ruining our marriage.

Tell him to go sleep in DD's room.

The utter disrespect and lack of consideration is incredible.

DH and I have started sleeping separately due to both of our snoring. We alternate weekly between bedrooms as ours is nicer than the spare lol We’ve recently upgraded the spare room to make it more pleasant etc as it is being used so much. Sometimes we start off in bed together and then if one of us is disturbed then we decamp to the spare. We both fully accept and understand the situation and how bloody awful sleep deprivation can be!

DP has a broken nose and snores, he sounds like a chainsaw. He also flings his arms about hitting me and draws up his knees and hits me in the back with them. (All unintentional).

We now have separate rooms. It is much better. My cat sleeps in here with me.

YABU. If one could just press a button and never snore they would. People can't control what they do when they're sleep. Most treatment for snoring is just useless advice.

Of course pretty much anyone would fix it if it took absolutely no time or effort on their part. The point is that there are numerous things the OP’s partner could at least try that could make a difference but he can’t be bothered to make any effort for something that benefits her and not him.

My DH is a really loud snorer. I’ve had neighbours knock in the summer asking me to close the windows because he disturbs them too.

I also recorded him, he thought it was hilarious.

That was the end for me, he now has the spare room, we upgraded the bed for him and I have our room all to myself. It didn’t help that I often suffer from insomnia so it was even harder to try and sleep with the jumbo jet landing beside me.

He had surgery, we have tried, strips, potions, lozenges, none worked. This saved our marriage

Same here, but what do you do on holiday?

Sleep deprivation is, or was used as a method of torture….
To add insult to injury, if the snorer isn’t willing to go to all lengths to address the problem, then it’s a formal show of disrespect.
Add to that the problem of they don’t believe it’s a problem… that it’s you being super sensitive, or a “light” sleeper.
I also find tho, (as a previous partner of an AWFUL snorer) that as soon as we went to bed, I was on edge,,as experience had taught me that he again would be snoring his head off. So my psychological state was all on edge before he even closed his eyes.
Next morning, whether a sahm, or holding down employment, is another BIG problem.
You become unable to concentrate, have less patience, and probably a danger on the roads if your a driver.
Anyone that minimises your lack of sleep and the aftermath, is an inconsiderate ignorant person, and should be disregarded.
By all means, if you have the space to sleep separately…. even if that means the sofa… the snorer(s) should be the ones to decamp. Especially the snorers who refuse to seek help.
I can see why it causes divorce in some cases.
it’s NOT funny, it’s bloody traumatic.
As an earlier pp said, it could be a case of sleep apnea, so it’s dangerous to the snorer.
Its also a danger to the snorer if the long suffering partner finally wishes to throttle the bitch or bastard!
I do know someone who’s snoring was discovered to be from sleep apnea, and since diagnosis, no more snoring….. wow indeed.
Please look after yourselves, those who are in the same home as a snorer.
Your sleep IS important, and you do deserve to sleep well in order to function and not end up with a nervous breakdown.
You are NOT being over dramatic, please don’t let yourselves be persuaded that it’s you that is the problem.
My best wishes to you all.

I snore. I have tired a lot of remedies. None really work. I don’t think it’s an easy fix. It’s often anatomical.

Separate rooms is the way forward.

We have a dog, so we don’t go on holiday regularly. He has embarrassed himself sitting by the pool in Tenerife, when he dropped off and everyone was looking at him.

I also use a fan beside the bed to drown him out because I can still hear him from my room.

This is so funny….on a long haul flight my husband woke the entire cabin…I was mortified.

I snore. Although it's a light snore that other partners just slept through, DH is a light sleeper and it wakes him up. I sleep in my own bedroom. Everybody happy.

I walked away the minute it started, because he was next to his dad who joined in the warthog chorus, but his mum slept right through it!

He’s a selfish dick. How dare he act wounded that you were forced to seek somewhere quiet to try to sleep?

Separate rooms (and earplugs still) here but mine and surgery to try and help - tonsils and ‘flappy bits’ in nose / throat

it’s better than it used to be except for when he’s been boozy but two rooms is a better option for us plus I’m often awake overnight due to health reasons:

I can’t be too critical of him as he did at least have the surgery just had to accept it

Had not and surgery

I have the same problem. We haven't shared a bed for 7 years, if we did then we wouldn't be together anymore as it was driving me insane and causing many arguments. After recording the noise again, he finally went to the Dr's and has now been referred to a sleep clinic. Could you try this? So he realises how bad it is?

I don't know if there is much you can do about it, if suggest making that room your nice new room

Has he been to a sleep clinic. Sounds like he may have sleep apnea, which a CPAP will sort out. He’ll get better sleep too and feel better for it as well as you.

Years ago I read that stitching a cotton reel to the back of their pyjamas (to stop them lying on their backs) which seems a good idea.

Your DH needs to see a doctor now.

Sleep apnea is dangerous and can cause or contribute to heart failure and strokes.

Plus sufferers don't sleep properly and end up in accidents because they've dropped off behind a wheel or when operating machinery.

My DH had sleep apnea, had a stroke and nearly died. He's disabled now and wishes he had gone to the doctor earlier about his sleep. It's so easily cured.

Agree with this.
My ex used to do this, but I had to move into the spare room. He’d try nothing , on the grounds that he couldn’t help it. We slept separately until he’d lost weight and it was no longer an issue. But for years he had the same wounded, sulky attitude about his snoring, like it was my fault that I had a problem with it. Drove me insane! That’s not why we divorced by the way.
Time for reconfiguration of rooms, OP. Sleep separately, and if it’ll be a problem for DD when she comes home, her dad will have to sleep on the sofa downstairs, won’t he?!

Colleague of mine had 2 single beds as her husband was a twitcher
Saved their marriage

My dad snores hideously badly and he did nothing about it for 30 years despite the impact on my mum. It was only when he got a smart watch that tracked his sleep patterns that he saw the impact on himself that he did a bunch of research and sewed a tennis ball to the back of his pjs to keep him on his side. It worked, so said his watch. I was livid that he never made an effort for my mum and pretty sure his selfishness has contributed to the disaster of a marriage they now have.

Yes @VeganFromSveden exactly.

My DH snores quite a bit. It’s actually much worse when he’s really tired… largely because he doesn’t get to bed in a timely way.

Anyone snorer who doesn’t say, ‘I’m sorry darling, I can’t help it but it must be a right pain for you, I’ll see what I can do’ is an absolute dick.

Even worse is the wounded 'where did you go last night 😥'

Last time I said 'the moon'