Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

I hope your dd is accessing better careers advice than just "you can teach English with an English degree"!

There are lots and lots of grad schemes out there that do not specify what your degree needs to be in. A humanities degree from a good unu can get you into graduate roles in accounting, law, charity sector work, consultancy, governance, project management, HR, retail management etc.

Certain glamorous sounding, cool industries (e.g. publishing, media, the arts) are hugely competitive and oversubscribed, but there is a whole world of other rewarding jobs and industries out there. A humanities degree is no barrier to carving out a successful corporate career.

My parents would not support me, and I often did not qualify for benefits. What do you do - keep pounding the pavements until you have work, even if it means going door to door in town asking at all the shops.

Snap

This 2023 calling, there are very few “secretarial” jobs now.

And, @Rinoachicken , a Media Studies degree lost its worth (if it ever had any) in about 1990.

Totally agree with this. Am aghast that she has not already got a job to tide her over. I did all sorts of jobs before I got my "career" job. Not working (or trying to work) has never been an alternative option and I can't believe it would be for people who can.

Please don't let her apply for Universal Credit, she will end up feeling worse than ever before. She will be hounded by the job centre all of the time, will have to attend 1-2 times a week (alongside dregs of society - trust me those places are real eye openers and she'll be lumped in with those type of people) and she will have to prove she's been job searching for at least 35 hours a week to her 'work coach'. It's demeaning, demanding, and a mental health destroyer. Any chance they get to sanction her - ie deduct from the pittance they pay her - they will. I'm talking from experience.

Maybe not secretarial, but most workplaces still have administrative or support services jobs. And they can often be a stepping stone to something else - once you're in its easier to move up or into a different dept. than it is to get in from the outside.

Could She do online tuition in Spanish?

There are plenty of sites that she could register with. Not sure what the pay is like while she isn'qualified teacher but it's worth a try

Rather depends on the coaches but I would say it's nothing like the post below for most people. She will have weekly appointments to discuss her work search and applications. Help and advice will be offered as well as some opportunities to meet local employers or do courses. She won't be sanctioned easily and definitely not if she is meeting her commitments to seek paid work and the coach can see that she isn't going proactive and not just sitting about waiting for the dream job.

Is being proactive ... Sorry for gibberish

I work in the media. Quite a lot of my colleagues have degrees in media studies, as well as other subjects.

Does it depend on area? According to some documentaries job centres are pretty hellish plus underfunded and understaffed in certain areas

My DC was in a similar situation after graduating with a masters in STEM but struggling to find something locally.
Shes a bright and strong woman but the awful man in the job centre reduced her to tears. She did qualify for UC but you'd he was paying her from his own pocket.
When she got her first job offer with a starting salary of 50k, she took great delight in emailing him. Good luck to your girl.

I also think the advice re not underestimating getting a foot in the door via admin posts. At one of my previous jobs, I can think of three people who started out on reception and ended up getting roles they wouldn’t have done otherwise and would probably have never dreamed of applying for on the open market. One ended up in comms, one picked up project management and another one progressed in terms of facilities management getting health and safety training etc. Good people can get noticed and supported even in roles that wouldn’t automatically be obvious.

@drivinmecrazy does the job have to be London? The company I work for is recruiting for a content executive, I'd have to ask the hiring manager if she'd consider a new graduate, but her Spanish would be really useful! We're West Sussex, some people live in Brighton and commute on office days. PM if you'd like me to introduce her.

My GOD this has to be the MOST judgemental thread I have ever read in over a decade on MN.

Did the OP ask for hundreds of moral judgements on the rights and wrongs of the benefit system ? Nor your belief that parents should be supporting their children financially as well as housing them into their mid 20s !,

*News Flash

Not EVERY MN subscriber lives in a large mortgage free home with a 6 figure salary. I know this is hard to believe from many of the posts on here but it's true. Some of us rent. Having lost our homes due to death or divorce. Some were never lucky enough to get on the housing ladder. Our outgoings are astronomical. Yes we may have kids in their 20s where many of your have paid of mortgages and begin to have more but those of us who rent can easily add another £1200 a month on our outgoings above the expenses of those with mortgages or mortgage free....in that situation...
1.How on EARTH do you finance a University leaver child ?
2 Why the fuck should you ? They are adults !

The benefit system is governed by legislation. As long as the claimant adheres to the laws surrounding that legislation, such as honestly declaring their savings and income and abide by the commitments agreed in their initial interview with their work coach, then they are as entitled as any other ADULT.

To all those bleating that they could get 'any job' - take your heads out your arses and look at the bigger picture. The OPS child could get a MN wage job of which there are many. However she will be paying minimal tax and NI and not paying a cent back to her student loan. Alternatively, she could do what I encouraged my DD to do when she graduated. Claim UC, agree a 'commitment with her work coach that she would apply for local jobs (also lives rurally where they are few and far between) as well as applying for graduate posts. The £240 per month supported her while she did that. I certainly couldn't. 5 weeks later she landed a job after 5 interviews. 3 of which were face2face which cost £36 a time by train alone. There is no way a MW job would have allowed her that time off for interviews even if there was a job available nearby.

She now earned £45k and pays a decent amount of tax & NI plus her student loan. It cost 'the tax payer' (which we both are) the grand sum of about £300. A good investment for the country in my book.

Some people need to get their noses out of the daily Mail and look at the bigger picture sometimes.

You say she has savings this if more than 6k will effect her getting UC. Otherwise here is the link to the details on citizen's advise webpage

Apologies if someone’s said this already - soooo many comments to scroll through - but publishing and copywriting are supremely competitive, which means she will be up against huge numbers in every application.

A better way to get your foot in the door is to identify companies you want to work for, and make a speculative application - try to find something about the company/subject matter that makes you a really good fit and that will help too. The covering will probably be more important than the CV… so make sure each one is unique to the company you’re writing to, and sets out why you think you would be a good fit for them.

For example, when I wanted to break into magazine publishing I wrote (this was 20 years ago!) to 40 editors of interiors and equestrian magazines, because these were topics I could prove an interest and knowledge in. Today you’d possibly email - though don’t underestimate the power of a proper letter and print CV for some types of publisher - but the ‘specialism’ strategy still very much works, as does taking the initiative rather than being reactive (waiting for job ads).

I’d also suggest trying to get some work experience - even if it’s just persuading a local marketing agency (or any company with a content strategy) to let you write a few blogs remotely as work experience to build a bit of a commercial portfolio. Definitely be on guard for being taken advantage of, though, long unpaid ‘internships’ are not cool, but a few days in a publishing company can give you insight and contacts so can be worth doing even if unpaid (views vary on the ethics of unpaid, but bear in mind the value to you doesn’t necessarily need to be monetary, and when teams take on a work experience person it usually creates extra work for them - if they’re doing it properly that is! I would say anyone looking for you to do more than a week is taking the P though).

Hope this helps, and best of luck!

Not to mention It'll get even harder for her when the new batch of graduates come fresh out of uni in the summer.

It feels like she's doing exactly the wrong thing and is stuck in the whole dream that being a graduate automatically opens doors when that's not true for most people without the work ethic to go alongside the degree.

Ricepuddin.... Job centres and staff vary but the one I know well busts a gut to help people especially those who are trying to help themselves. They are overworked and pressured however and often not given a lot of time with each person. As said below, it's all driven by legislation so sometimes seems harsh but the concept is easy to understand. If you're fit for work then treat job seeking like your job.

She should send her CV to Spanish companies and institutions in London (the Embassy, for instance) for administrative jobs. After Brexit EU businesses are having trouble recruiting people that speak their language (now they need to have settled status or pay for a Visa).

I think people are being a bit harsh. OP's daughter was working to support herself through uni, and worked full time after graduation as well. She clearly has a work ethic.

It's just that her jobs were unrelated to this industry. It sounds like she was naive about the kind of CV and connections you need to build up to even get your foot in the door – i.e. even be considered, not necessarily accepted – for the publishing/copywriting industry in particular.

To be honest this disparity is something you do often see at uni amongst fresh grads – those with the "cultural capital" who started playing the game in year one (and have many fancy low-paid/unpaid industry-related internships on their CV, some abroad), and those without.

She's your daughter. You think you shouldn't be supporting her. But taxpayers should. OK. I'm out.

To add on, if you tot up the sheer number of hours worked, those without the "cultural capital" work much more than those with... The former does back-breaking regular work to support themselves through uni, while the latter does privileged summer internships here and there. But the former has been doing completely the wrong kind of job to gain entry into prestigious industries. I've seen this often with different circles of uni mates

I feel so sorry for the younger generation.

I went to a non-russell group uni in 2002. I got a maintenance loan (that I expect to finish paying off next year) that paid for my catered halls accommodation in full (£3.2k per annum). I also got a small scholarship (£1k per year) which was my spending money so I didn't have to work at all while I studied, only in the summer holidays. My parents paid the uni fees, which were £1.5k per year.

When I graduated I went travelling for 2 months with the money I had earned in my holiday jobs. I returned and got a graduate job within a few months and so did all my friends. My salary was £21k and this was plenty for rent in a shared house with my friends. I had enough money to run a car and go on nights out and have fun. Didn't need any support from my parents.

I’m not meaning to rub salt in the wound, just pointing out how VERY much harder it is for YP these days, we older millennials have it tough now in some ways (don’t talk to me about house buying) But we were SO lucky when we were younger. All very well saying “she should get a job” but young people need and deserve the opportunity to be young and to enjoy their youth - it disappears all too quickly.