Graduate DD not qualifying for job seekers. The buck stops with us

[drivinmecrazy]

DD1 graduated this summer and moved home to us in October.
Since then she's been applying for entry level jobs in publishing and copywriting in London.
We live in a rural town with limited employment opportunities, for which we feel really guilty for, but that's another story.
We agreed to give her until the new year to focus fully on finding the ideal position before we expected her to apply for local jobs which would tide her over.
Since then she's applied for job seekers allowance. Found out today she does not qualify because doesn't have enough NI contributions.
She's certainly not work shy, she supported herself largely through uni and spent time from graduation until she me of September working full time at her uni job so was paying NI and tax.
Now she's home it falls to us to support her. She has dwindling savings so has enough for her socialising and we obviously don't charge her for board and lodgings.
But at 22yo surely she should be treated by the state as independent.
What if we didn't have the means to support her at home?
TBH I was hoping she'd qualify for the £200 odd per month for job seekers so she might be able to contribute £20 a week to the household, which would obviously not come close to what she is 'costing' us , but might give her some self worth.
We are fortunate we can accommodate her but it's a hefty weight for us to carry with the cost of living etc.

We have never claimed anything as a family but surely as an independent 22yo woman she should have some autonomy.

I realise probably shouldn't have put this in aibu cos I know I am, but where do our parental responsibilities stop?

She has obviously started applying for local jobs in what she has experience of and her cv is fortunately full of work experience so shouldn't take long.

But I guess my real AIBU is what would happen if we could not or would not cover her living costs

Graduate jobs are on an annual cycle. Normally Apply January or so. Interviews April time for a September start. So she's obviously missed last year start and is well placed for this year's cycle to start in September.

She just needs a hospitality job to tied her over. Massive vacancies everywhere

You say she's not lazy but she wasted 2 months not getting a job

This is horribly true. I did a language as part of my degree and made a very good friend during my year abroad. I came back to the UK and spent the summer working 2 different bar jobs plus waitressing (because I needed the money!). Whereas my friend came from a wealthy background so she spent her summer in California as an unpaid intern at the World Trade Center (all expenses funded by her parents). You can guess who had the advantage when it came to applying for graduate jobs.

Great post

I think the difference now is it is almost impossible to afford a room in a shared hosue in London while doing bar work or whatever. The cost of living makes that first rung on the employment ladder so hard unless you get onto a fairly paid graduate trainee scheme.

OP, why not suggest she gets a PT job locally to give her some structure and income. Then she can plan some of her time off applying for jobs in publishing.
If any of your friends run local small businesses, get her to overhaul the copy on their websites for a nominal fee (or free) so she starts to build a strong and varied portfolio. She could also start a blog. She needs to create work for herself so she can stand out in the London industry.

My dd did an Eng lit degree with French. She moved home and continued working in her chain store job. She struggled to find copywriting style jobs locally but she managed to get freelance copywriting online. It was through LinkedIn, it was self employed and she was basically writing content online. It was 18k a year. It was working from home she didn't love it but 6 months later she got a job on a magazine part working from home part in office (2 hour commute)

As a fairly recent graduate myself, your DD needs to accept a few hard truths:

• She is not going to get the dream job she wants right off the bat. Very few people do, even less with the types of degree she has because they churn out far more graduates than can ever be filled by the job market
• Sitting around unemployed is not an attractive thing to have on your resume. She needs to apply for any job she can stand doing, with the expectation that she can continue to job hunt for that dream job while she's currently working. It's far more attractive to an employer to see that she worked in tesco for 6 months than sat at home, even if she bloody hated working at tesco - no one is forcing her to stay in that less than ideal job for the next 50 years
• She may need to move away from home to a place she doesn't really want to live in to get experience, which will then allow her to get a job she really wants back home. Moving to a city 2 hours away doesn't have to be permanent

None of this is oh woe is me, young people have it so hard in the job market. My parents had to do the exact same as I did and did jobs they didn't really like in places they didn't really want to be in to get experience while waiting for the job they really wanted to become available

It is poor that your DD didn't consider this before graduating uni and start putting together an action action, but it's by no means too late for her either

And the local jobcentre is there to help.her get a job. It may not be her dream job or even close. But she just needs any job

I don’t think people are being snarky but more pointing out the reality of the competition for popular grad careers. It’s really hard to make it in some industries but even harder if you’ve not been playing the game. A lot of this is much harder if you don’t know what you don’t know. There are too many young people who still think a degree is the important thing. When I was doing grad recruitment it was the least important thing. Everyone had one, loads had masters. The thing that was important was showing drive through volunteering, developing skills through work etc. it sounds like the OP’s daughter does have some work experience so should have some people skills etc but possibly not industry related.

FWIW - My parents and i both work in academia which is hugely competitive. If i had waited to get a job in the city I wanted I doubt I would have the job now that I currently love (in the city I want to be in!) My parents moved numerous times to get the experience they wanted/needed, including internationally, which is probably a bit drastic for some people but definitely moving within the UK has to be an option. My first job was in a place 2 hours from home and I hated the location, but it let me get a job in my home city (at a place I really did NOT want to work mind), which then let me get another job etc etc until I was able to competitively apply for the kinds of jobs I dreamed of doing

I was going to say the same thing. I have a degree in English Studies and wasn’t able to get anything that used my degree. OTOH I have seen plenty of office jobs looking for bi-lingual speakers. The Spanish element is much more useful.

Generally graduate jobs are competitive and over-subscribed so she might be better looking for decent entry level jobs that use her Spanish.

DS got UC from finishing his Masters until starting his job a few months later. It all went very smoothly.

Also what about on line tutoring in English and Spanish.

They let him hold out for his dream job in a very competitive industry, as long as he was applying for jobs and having interviews. He got offers from each interview and succeeded in getting his dream job.

She's entitled to universal credit. She's not entitled to contributions based Jobseeker's Allowance.

where do our parental responsibilities stop?

They stop when the child is out of full time education and able to take paid employment. Your daughter could get some evening shifts in a pub and still have her days free to concentrate on the search for her dream job.

Ok, I'll be pretty blunt here - I disagree with her claiming benefits and think it's a real issue at this stage that it's being considered when she has had the choice to work since day 1 and has opted not to.

Roles for graduates are at a premium and there are thousands left behind who aren't much better than if they hadn't had a degree (for example call centres are absolutely full of graduates on the phones), and many thousands more who may get a graduate level role but in a completely different field to their degree because niche industries are exactly that.. niche.

There's no issue with her job seeking if you can easily afford to support her and not have contribution to bills etc, but this doesn't appear to be the case. In the meantime she hasn't really even tried to get a job and support herself. As an adult, she needs to realise that you can't always wait for the perfect opportunity, and it may never come.

I work at Big4 and come across people with similar backgrounds to your daughter all the time, especially in our bids teams. The skill of being able to craft a proposal for a client is not to be underestimated and her skills sound like they’d lend themselves to it. Perhaps she should try that even if she doesn’t meet 100% of the criteria

Unemployed, or not seeking work?

Unemployed would normally be used to mean seeking work but not finding it. “Not economically active” is the umbrella term if, for example, you were bringing up a family.

While I do sympathise, I applied when I was her age and was also turned down but I was living independently. The reason? I lived with my boyfriend who they said should support me as we were living as common law man and wife... which isn't a thing in law. I was extremely stressed as it was in the midst of a recession, I'd worked since 16 alongside studying so had NI, and have a condition where I need medication repeatedly but don't qualify for an exemption thus pay prescriptions. I'd spent money going to and from the job centre to apply and to evidence applying for jobs while waiting for a determination, which is what they said I had to do. I never got that money back and felt so upset I'd basically spent money for no reason as had I known they'd reject me I'd have had no reason to go to the job centre - I was more than able to apply online for jobs.

I understand your frustration but my point is, I guess, it could be worse. You are her parents and it is your choice to have said she could stay and focus only on applying for specific jobs for a period. If it were me, and I didnt want to support her, I'd have said she needs to apply for both sorts of jobs on the basis that if there ended up being a conflict she could choose to favour the career job over the meanwhile one and she would at least have something in the meantime. My step child did this - applied for meanwhile jobs straightaway and got one but then carried on the job search for what she wanted to do while working.

Long time since I worked in graduate recruitment but you used to apply first term final year for any grad schemes you wanted a role in and knew that waiting to apply for a scheme or any role on or after graduation was a risk.

Afraid I agree. I left uni during a recession but applied for literally anything alongside jobs related to my field, taking an offer before I even left uni so I had some money coming in. The reason I had to apply for job seekers was because the job I had, I had to leave (issues with their practices) but I kept on applying for literally anything alongside my dream jobs/career related options. I got another job within a month in a recession. I kept on working and applying for as much as I could including seeking out opportunities by writing to companies not actively looking on the off chance. I made up for the non career related work by doing related voluntary work in spare time and further study remotely to try to stand out on my cv. Eventually I got the career assisting role I was after. Ultimately.I needed to be able to pay the bills and also progress in life as it may have been the case that the career role never came. Many graduates find that.

Are there zero jobs available in your town, or is she being a little bit fussy? Surely anything is better than nothing - don’t employers frown upon gaps in employment?
Care worker roles are always available, are very flexible, rewarding and and would equip her with valuable ‘people skills’ - have you considered something like this?

(He pays for it so I don’t need to. But since you asked) 7 extra (electric) showers, a good few extra dishwasher loads since he likes to cook his own food, blends a smoothie every day, another Tv, laptop, lights and console on of an evening. We’re on a meter so it is what it is, I’m not guessing.

I second this. I started out as an office receptionist, then moved up to office junior/filing clerk, then up to secretary, then PA. Changing firms a few times as needed to next the next step up. I started helping out the marketing and comms teams occasionally when they needed an extra pair of hands and through that was offered an entry level mar-comms position when it came up. They already knew I was reliable, hard working, good attention to detail and had a creative flair. Spent the next few years working my way up the marcomms ladder, taking advantage of employer funded training schemes where I could, again moving firms once I had experience under my belt in order to move up, and built up a pretty impressive portfolio as I went.

So I started out on NMW with no this info more than a single English Lit A’Level and ended up on £40k+ after 10 years.

She could do far worse than just getting an entry level job at this point and seeing where it takes her. If she can get into a large corp, ideally international as she has Spanish, she can then make herself known to the marcomms depts and get in that way. She will build a real portfolio and can do freelance on the side to diversify if needed. She’ll then be ok a much stronger position with actual experience under her belt to then try for her dream specialism.

If she knew she wanted a job in media, why didn’t she do a media related degree?