AIBU to decline Exit Interview?

[chickensinthebed]

I am moving onto a new job and have been asked to attend an exit interview. I declined one as I thought 'if you have nothing good to say just keep quiet' but my manager is insisting that I have one saying that it's compulsory that I have one. Really? I thought you could decline one- I didn't know it was compulsory. But anyway, here are the reasons why I declined my exit interview.

1. I am a starter in my role but a lover of research and have been very contributive to my team. However, some of my comments (in regards to what research says) has not been received well by some of my managers (mainly my line manager) and since then I have been micromanaged.

1. I applied for a higher position (within my team) did not get it (obviously) but it was my manger who was conducting the interviews and I just knew I was wasting my time . But no worries, I got offered a same higher role, within another company. So that's ok.

1. Suddenly put on an informal performance management plan over, I believe , silly reasons. I received my new job offer before I know I was in an informal performance plan and my manager was querying with me if she should ask HR to inform the new employees (who I will be starting my new job with) that I am on an informal performance management plan.

1. Anyway (of course) I passed the informal management plan and my manger told me that when I leave, they had already hired someone to take my place and it wouldn't be too long. Ok- fair enough it's a business and they got to keep meaning but it did feel a bit ouch.

1. I contribute a lot to my team, way more than on my salary. Even to the point we're my colleagues, who were much more senior to me, were asking me to make a presentation on this topic and that etc. which is fine. I love it. But I don't think I was valued - more so from my line manger. But it is what it is.

Anywhoo... I was informed that I had to have an exit interview- and it could be with a line manager or another team lead. I declined because... well what's the point. I am moving on. They are moving on. I don't see a point in "lying" during an exit interview. I might as well save my face and decline al together.

So firstly, AIBU to decline an exit interview and can your job enforce you to have one.

Just say no. What they gonna do, sack you? I declined my exit interview. Well I didn't, I just ignored it and when I handed my tech back in and they asked me if I wanted one I said, nah you're alright.

I don't know about whether you can be forced to have one, but YANBU to decline one. I had one after leaving a job due to micromanaging after I raised bullying from another staff member. The rest of the team were sad and angry that I was the one who was going and the exit interview was basically my manager covering herself. She asked me in an aggressive tone if I was leaving due to the bullying, pretty much so she could deny it to other staff. Id avoid it if I was you.

Just decline again. And tell them you won’t be changing your mind

But is it compulsory? I did decide to the leaving do--- to say goodbye to my colleagues.

If you don't want to then your could....

Send an email with your points and state that is all your willing to state in your exit interview and you won't be attending

Or

Just send an email with your points titles exit interview

And or

Book annual leave

Or

Call in sick

Or just don't turn up, what are they going to do

But do you think I should have one? Would this go against me? Make me seem as negative?

Speaking as a manager here (hopefully a decent one). Can you insist your exit interview is with a different manager, not your line manager? It seems a shame to your organisation to lose the valuable feedback you may have.

Can you write out some feedback and send it to you manager's boss? If they're a bit shit people need to know so steps can be made to fix or remedy.

In answer to your question, I don't think they can force you.

I assume your exit interview isn't with your manager but is with someone from HR? If so, why wouldn't you attend and stop him doing the same to someone else?

If it's with him then yes, I can understand why you don't want to go.

It would be with my line manager. But I can choose someone else (but from a different team leader).

They can't force you to attend and even if you do attend you have the right to say you don't want to make any comments.

In fact you should comment just to tell them exit interviews being forced on unwilling leaving employees are a waste of time.

I was advised never to burn bridges when you leave ad you don't know when you will meet these people professionally again or if you would ever want to go back.
Accept the interview. Decide on a few points to make that are constructive.
Do not tell your boss you are leaving because she is a bullying, unmotivational, nit picky micromanager......

(P.s. any company that offers you an exit interview with your line manager isn't fully grasping the process anyway....so just give it lip service and tick the box....)

I think an exit interview with someone other than your manager sounds useful for them and might be cathartic for you.

I would say that as your manager had already threatened to tell your new employers about this improvement plan, an exit interview would be pointless as you wouldn't want to enrage him any more as you don't know how he would take it out on you if you told them about his behaviour and why you were leaving.

I'm a believer in giving feedback, and some of the things I gave as reasons for leaving my last job did change after I'd gone. This time, they're making me redundant, and I don't think I can be arsed, not that they have asked.

I'd ask for an interview but NOT with my line manager, then tell them exactly why I was leaving.

Congrats on your new job!

If they insist you could go along and say "no comment", to every question.

Well my line manger did offer for me to have an exit interview with another team leader, who is also a manager but I know they both talk behind my back and one day, I saw that manager roll her eyes when she saw me- then when I looked up, she gave a fake smile,

I’d do it but only with HR. I wouldn’t necessarily worry about sounding negative but when I left a job I did a (confirmed confidential) HR exit and let them know that my boss could be a bit overfamiliar, that I handled it but I wanted to let them know in case my replacement said the same (she was young and I wasn’t certain she’d be able to bat the old sod off). I kind of felt a sense of responsibility so that if she had the same issues they’d know it wasn’t just her.

who is the interview conducted by? It should be HR rather than your line manager.
I'd do it - report why you're moving on objectively rather than it being a whinge - they may ignore what you say, but if it starts to build up a picture of poor management in your team that they can address and improve things going forward.

No they can't force you. I wouldn't. It's not usual for these to be with your line manager either - if the issue is your line manager, you're clearly not going to say.

If they've already submitted a reference to your new employer, I wouldn't give it any headspace. If they keep pushing, agree to one for your final day and then tell them you've changed your mind.

It would not be with HR. It would either be conducted by line manger or another manger within the team.

No they can’t force you. And it sounds as if they wouldn’t be especially open minded about any criticism, constructive or otherwise, which you might make in an exit interview. So I can see why you think it’s a bit futile.

On the other hand there’s a lot to be said for playing the game here as it removes any potential questions about this performance management plan or whatever and will give you a clean bill of health for a good reference. I can totally understand why you think this is a waste of time but if you play the game no one will be able to point to any issues with your record in the future.

I just think it’s worth doing whatever you can to enable a smooth transition into your new job and if that means going through a bit of pointless theatre so be it.

Play the long game. Flouncing out of an exit interview may give you short term satisfaction but they are unlikely to take anything on board and if you let them have both barrels they will attribute it to you being disgruntled or bitter. Think about protecting your future and if that means doing a creepy exit interview it’s a small price to pay.

lot of posts since I started writing! Say you'll do an exit interview with HR, but not you're line manager.

A job can enforce it to the same extent they can enforce most tasks, which is to say, in practice not easily when you are already leaving.

You can keep putting your manager off, which might be easiest if you don’t have long to go. Or you could try putting in a complaint to HR telling them that an exit interview by the management team is unlikely to get them candid or honest feedback and you’d appreciate it if they could tell your line manager not to bother.

But you could just go along and then answer every question with things along the lines of - “I don’t have anything constructive to say about that.”/“I don’t think it’s prudent for me to answer that.”/“I have nothing to gain from answering that.”/etc.

YANBU to try and avoid. I think it’s sensible in your position. When you’ve basically been driven out by one employee, especially if they clearly have it in for you (with the desire to tell your new employer about your “informal” and hitherto unknown performance management plan) it’s hard to have the trust you would need to provide honest and constructive feedback. The risk of them trying to use your exit interview against you shouldn’t be discounted. And the temptation, once you start speaking, would be to lay into them which isn’t a sensible approach.

Sigh- I don't know what to do.