AIBU to decline Exit Interview?

[chickensinthebed]

I am moving onto a new job and have been asked to attend an exit interview. I declined one as I thought 'if you have nothing good to say just keep quiet' but my manager is insisting that I have one saying that it's compulsory that I have one. Really? I thought you could decline one- I didn't know it was compulsory. But anyway, here are the reasons why I declined my exit interview.

1. I am a starter in my role but a lover of research and have been very contributive to my team. However, some of my comments (in regards to what research says) has not been received well by some of my managers (mainly my line manager) and since then I have been micromanaged.

1. I applied for a higher position (within my team) did not get it (obviously) but it was my manger who was conducting the interviews and I just knew I was wasting my time . But no worries, I got offered a same higher role, within another company. So that's ok.

1. Suddenly put on an informal performance management plan over, I believe , silly reasons. I received my new job offer before I know I was in an informal performance plan and my manager was querying with me if she should ask HR to inform the new employees (who I will be starting my new job with) that I am on an informal performance management plan.

1. Anyway (of course) I passed the informal management plan and my manger told me that when I leave, they had already hired someone to take my place and it wouldn't be too long. Ok- fair enough it's a business and they got to keep meaning but it did feel a bit ouch.

1. I contribute a lot to my team, way more than on my salary. Even to the point we're my colleagues, who were much more senior to me, were asking me to make a presentation on this topic and that etc. which is fine. I love it. But I don't think I was valued - more so from my line manger. But it is what it is.

Anywhoo... I was informed that I had to have an exit interview- and it could be with a line manager or another team lead. I declined because... well what's the point. I am moving on. They are moving on. I don't see a point in "lying" during an exit interview. I might as well save my face and decline al together.

So firstly, AIBU to decline an exit interview and can your job enforce you to have one.

The main purpose of the exit interview is so the company's HR department can try to figure out why you're really leaving and whether there's a risk you will sue them.

If you don't want to do it, I don't see how they can force you... you're leaving.

It is just another example of his behaviour which you are leaving to escape.

Just keep saying the above. He wants to bully you right up til the last minute.

Toe the line and agree to an exit interview for your last day.
Then call in sick.

You are perfectly within your rights to decline, but it may be helpful to them to have your feedback.

I would say to your manager that you you will do an exit interview with HR, but if that is not possible you won't be accepting their offer of one.

As above, these interviews are normally conducted by HR. For very good reason. In my institution, it’s the only occasion on which HR routinely engage with every staff member (who leaves). You should point out that it’s not appropriate to have these interviews with anyone other than HR, and will only agree to an interview with them.

She cannot force you to do an exit interview.

I would go to HR and ask, if exit interviews are compulsory. Likely, they will say no. If they say yes, ask for one of them to be in attendance. If you end up in a forced exit interview just you snd your manager, feel free to say no comment.

Well done to you on the new job! I’m sure you will smash it. The best answer to your boss is to go thrive elsewhere.

Finally, this is a great pidcast on exit interviews.

www.manager-tools.com/2009/04/handling-exit-interviews

(It’s a good resource/podcast. US based, but no bullshit.)

As others have said, it’s very strange your line manager is doing this and not somebody from HR. I work in HR and don’t see how this could ever be a useful way of collecting feedback, it’s highly inappropriate. I would just refuse to go if I was you, or if you do go just keep it high level.

All the best op

I had the opposite. My line manager refused to do an exit interview or handover.
Best thing I did was to leave the whole toxic environment.

Hmm, I would 100% book it and then be off sick. I just typed out that you'd be better to go and be politically diplomatic, but why would you want anything on record at all that you either did or did not have issues. You owe them nothing and will soon be gone, but as pp say don't cause ripples on the way out as you may meet some of them again in your career.

I never had an exit interview at my last job, because the problem was my manager. I’m sure she didn’t want to hear the truth 🤷🏼‍♀️

I wouldn't bother. Tell them you don't want or need one.

It's not compulsory. Your manager clearly isn't going to receive any feedback well. Just don't attend.

When I was a manager I had to do these. Some where really helpful but the ones I enjoyed were the one's when I agreed 100% with the person leaving. I've put reasons for leaving as many different things.
I am moving to another country
I can’t stand the bastard who owns the company
The owner is crap
I want a life with no shift work
And many more.
I enjoyed submitting my report after the person had left and received all pay that was due to them.

It's far easier to have an exit interview - because then there is no argument. They can't say you didn't comply with them when you were employed by them. But there is no reason to tell the truth unless you want to. I've done this in the past - I had zero good to say about them, but honestly I felt it was far too much effort to say the truth. I gave a breezy "Everything was fine, I wasn't even looking for a new role! Just happened to see one on linked in when I was looking for a course, applied and got it! I accepted as it's slightly better money/closer to home/whatever innocuous thing you can find to say". No need to tell them it's 20k more, better opportunities or anything else. Job done.

Just say no. What's the worst that can happen?

I too have just accepted a new role so listened to this podcast, as where I work exit interviews are the norm. Great podcast! Glad I listened to it :)

Write all that down and hand it to them to read at the interview?

Exit interviews are a waste of time and certainly of no benefit to you. If you have to attend say as little as you can.

I do remember once when I took voluntary redundancy (after being told that my job would cease to exist in a few months) and they practically insisted I had any exit interview with HR for some unknown reason. I remember the first proper question was along the lines of "what are the key reasons why you are moving on from the company" I just said "you are getting rid of my job in 3 months and have offered me nothing else instead" and just sat there in silence until the HR person could stand the awkwardness and called it to a close. Still can't figure out why they put me through that, just made a bad situation worse.

I agree with the above. You need someone who is impartial if you agree to it. I doubt it is compulsory. I would check whether it is with HR (tell them that your line manager said it was compulsory) and if they say it is, ask them to show you where this is written either in your contract or an internal policy. Another useful suggestion is to book it for your last day and then be off "sick".

Some people think it is a chance to air their grievances, but by then it is too late to gain anything from this. Exit interviews are only to help the company so of no benefit to you if you are leaving. Also, you would have raised any issues by now and presumably they've been ignored so what is the point in telling them again if they didn't take any notice the first time? No need to help them if they didn't help you.

If you do end up having to attend one, insist it is someone from HR and then just say you are moving on to further your career.

Congratulations on your new job

Why not add this to your existing post?

I honestly thing exit interviews are a total waste of time. I would go but not say anything that might come back & bite you in the future if your paths cross with colleagues again.

I'd just say I decided it was time for a change & you applied for promotion, weren't successful so applied elsewhere. It's not your responsibility to help a company that hasn't looked after you & that you're leaving x

So glad it was helpful!

OP, the honest truth is that in your shoes I'd just do it and lie politely.

Smile and be breezy and say you were actively looking for your next step up the ladder in the industry you love, that you are very excited about the future and grateful for what you've learned in the role.

Don't get into any of the office politics/drama/toxicity.

The world can be smaller than you think and people from this team might end up on future teams you'll be on - keeping your chin up and your dignity intact and smiling politely and saying nothing critical is the easy way forward.

Why give the manager an excuse to tell a single person that you've been difficult about the exit interview? Manager is obviously the problem but if you just smile and kill them with kindness then you give them no satisfaction.

Best of luck in the new job!

It’s incredibly difficult when the employee thinks their performance Is excellent, as you do. And your management feels it’s severely lacking. It’s seldom something that can be reconciled.

personally id go say some nice shit and leave it there. You never know when you might meet your manager again.