AIBU to decline Exit Interview?

[chickensinthebed]

I am moving onto a new job and have been asked to attend an exit interview. I declined one as I thought 'if you have nothing good to say just keep quiet' but my manager is insisting that I have one saying that it's compulsory that I have one. Really? I thought you could decline one- I didn't know it was compulsory. But anyway, here are the reasons why I declined my exit interview.

1. I am a starter in my role but a lover of research and have been very contributive to my team. However, some of my comments (in regards to what research says) has not been received well by some of my managers (mainly my line manager) and since then I have been micromanaged.

1. I applied for a higher position (within my team) did not get it (obviously) but it was my manger who was conducting the interviews and I just knew I was wasting my time . But no worries, I got offered a same higher role, within another company. So that's ok.

1. Suddenly put on an informal performance management plan over, I believe , silly reasons. I received my new job offer before I know I was in an informal performance plan and my manager was querying with me if she should ask HR to inform the new employees (who I will be starting my new job with) that I am on an informal performance management plan.

1. Anyway (of course) I passed the informal management plan and my manger told me that when I leave, they had already hired someone to take my place and it wouldn't be too long. Ok- fair enough it's a business and they got to keep meaning but it did feel a bit ouch.

1. I contribute a lot to my team, way more than on my salary. Even to the point we're my colleagues, who were much more senior to me, were asking me to make a presentation on this topic and that etc. which is fine. I love it. But I don't think I was valued - more so from my line manger. But it is what it is.

Anywhoo... I was informed that I had to have an exit interview- and it could be with a line manager or another team lead. I declined because... well what's the point. I am moving on. They are moving on. I don't see a point in "lying" during an exit interview. I might as well save my face and decline al together.

So firstly, AIBU to decline an exit interview and can your job enforce you to have one.

The HR one will be meaningless as it will be more focused on gathering statistics around leavers. In any company I have worked in the HR one was just a questionnaire, the interview was with my department

They can be productive. The process in my last job was you had the interview with a manager from one of the other teams in our department. You got sent the questions ahead of time so you had time to consider your answers. You could also submit them in writing ahead of the interview.

I wrote down my comments, had the interview with the other manager but then also went through them with my own manager. Yes the conversation with my manager was slightly uncomfortable as I was VERY honest however they listened and from what I understand from friends still in the team, my comments did lead to my manager make changes for the better

Meant I left on a good note. My type of work is a small world and so best to not shit stir on the way out as you never know who you will bump into in the future

Speak to HR. Then when you've booked one with HR just tell your boss you have already arranged one and you don't see the point in repeating yourself having another one with them.

Erm no. I’d just tell them that I don’t want to do one. What are they gonna do? Force you to go and answer all of the questions. Just focus on the new job, congratulations btw

This exit interview sounds as legit as your "informal management plan". Decline, smile sweetly and say no thank you.

How unusual to have an exit interview with a line manager. Obviously just a tick box exercise if they are not providing space for you to give completely honest feedback.

The only compulsory things are death and taxes. Tell them to jog on.

You’re being a bit dramatic - sorry.

Just do the interview. Why are you leaving? I applied for a similar role here and was declined so looked elsewhere.

It doesn’t have to be an attack, just fair answers & it’s done.

If you’re in the same industry then just smile, say there’s no point as you’re leaving for the opportunity at x company and no point wasting anyone’s time.

Don’t give any fuel to any fire with your line manager or their friend.

In all my jobs, exit interviews have been with HR anyway. You could ask for that?

Decline decline decline.

What they gonna do? It is 100% not compulsory.

Fuck em. It's not an HR thing. Your line manager wants to make themselves look good. No need to whatsoever. Move on, don't look back.

Even then I'd argue re taxes.

It's not compulsory by law and it's not going to affect you any in way by not attending. You already have a new job, it's not something that's mentioned on references and even if it was it could only say exit interview declined and you just say I was on annual leave/ holiday.

My last job they always do exit interviews and I had a whole speech of what I was going to say, with all the reasons I left and how undervalued I was but then I thought you know what it's not worth it, it's just feeding the negativity and I was moving on! I never even got asked in end to have one but If I had I would have just kept it simple and said I wanted to progress and didn't feel I was going to there but had enjoyed my time there and the colleagues I worked with! Never burn bridges as you never know when you will come across people again!

Go along, be polite and professional and answer every question with “ No comment”

If you have to have this meeting keep it nice. Just keep on saying that you are moving on in your career and that you will keep in contact.

Be very careful on the way up, you never know who you will meet on the way down.

Nobody can force you to speak in an exit interview.

It reminds me of those police interviews on TV where someone who has been arrested just says "no comment" to every question!

Exit interviews are really just so HR can put ticks in boxes to say they've met whatever percentage senior management, execs etc have decreed has to be met. They don't change anything. I'm planning on saying as little as possible when I move on from my current job. At my last one it just got stuck in the line manager's filing cabinet and never even passed on to HR. If you feel you have to do it just say as little as possible. And since you've already got your new job presumably your references were already in. Good luck - hope your new place values you more.

Can you ask for it to be done on paper instead? You can give very simple answers that way. Where I am at the moment, that's how it's done now and it's up to the departing employer whether your line manager is allowed to see the contents. If you don't agree it stays with HR.

I have had two exit interviews, one after resignation and one after redundancy. Both were with HR. I found both really satisfying and cathartic. Both companies had policies of exit interviews being held with HR staff who hadn’t been involved with you during your time at the company. I used them as an opportunity to speak frankly about frustrations about various company practices and culture issues. The HR I spoke to each time appeared to appreciate the feedback - not sure whether things changed, but I felt much better having got it all off my chest.

if I were you I’d agree to an exit interview with HR only.

You could offer to put it in writing and send it to a manager/director of your choice?

Yes you need to go, it is a “reasonable request” of your employer and you are still employed. What they can’t do though is make you speak. So go, and say you have nothing to contribute.

If you end up being forced in to doing it just do a no comment interview. Saying nothing may show more than trying to argue with them.

I suppose while you are still on their payroll technically they can tell you what to do. Obviously they don't have much available by way of sanction if you refuse, but are they capable of trying,ing something stupid like withholding a day's pay?

I'd suggest you say you will go to the interview with someone other than your useless manager, and say you are leaving because of mismanagement by your line manager and you have been offered the promotion they withheld.

I know it won't make much difference whatever you say, but if no-one ever points out to them how useless your line manager is, they will just stay, won't they? You may feel they won't take your word for it, but when the next person makes a similar complaint yours will be on record and will make it more difficult for the manager to lie their way out of it again.