Comparing heights of children

[Led92]

I have a mum friend who often mentions her kids’ heights when they happen to be taller than mine at the time. Like oh is James taller than Ben now? Oh yes look he is. And with our girls as well. I don’t get it. My DD is taller than hers now I think and suddenly it’s not mentioned.

She herself is quite tall but within normal range.
My sister is 5ft10 and often mentions her height. I’m not that much smaller than her.

aibu it really doesn’t matter if kids are taller or shorter unless you think there’s an actual medical problem?!!! Not sure why she keeps mentioning it.

A lot of people are very proud of being tall or their DC being tall. Not sure why but they are.

Is it just conversation. A mum said it today and she’s the kindest, sweetest person you could meet. The child she said it about isn’t hers, couldn’t hear and the parent of said child couldn’t hear either.

She’s probably making conversation

My mother is obsessed with knowing how tall my DC are. I've never bothered to measure them myself, safe in the knowledge that she will ALWAYS do it and bang on about it for ages. She was the same with me and DBro when we were younger. I don't get it at all 🤷‍♀️

Basically, complete and utter idiots stupidly still seem to think having a tall child is an indication of health and something to be proud of. Be smug you’re not as fucking stupid as she is even if you and your DCs do happen to be shorter. You’ll see this trope over and over on this site and it makes me genuinely despair sometimes. Just because severe malnutrition can cause stunted growth does not mean a taller child is healthier than a shorter child. I’m so glad my two DCs are both bang on the 50th centile so I can eye roll at the idiots who walk among us rather than have any personal skin in the game.

I’d struggle to maintain a friendship with someone so utterly stupid. It’s sad that she can’t think of any actual achievements for her DCs to brag about.

One of my friends is also obsessed with how tall her children are. She and her DH are both tall so it’s hardly a surprise but she’s constantly making comments about how little Tommy is only 6 but already in age 10 trousers because he’s just sooooo tall!

Sometimes I’ve said it protectively…strangers assuming my 4 year old was 6 has led to judgement about behaviour etc.

Otherwise…if they’re otherwise lovely then I’d assume nothing other than it’s thoughtless ideal chit-chat, like much else? If they’re competitive about other things then I agree it’s an odd thing to be proud of.

They’re otherwise okay we have plenty to chat about not like there was a lull in conversation!
Anyway just don’t know what to say when people go on about height. My DD’s hair grows really fast maybe I should start going on about that? 😂

If this is your only problem op, then you really have fuck all to worry about. Count yourself lucky.

Not sure where you got the idea this is my only problem from.. but hope you’re busy updating all the other chatty mumsnet threads with your same sunny comment!! 🙄

People mention it to me and I just nod and agree. It’s certainly not something I go on about but tallness does seem to get mentioned a lot.

It makes me laugh because height is the one thing a person has absolutely no control over. People still care and comment though, and I’m secretly a bit proud my lads are both over six foot. I’ve no idea why - it’s not an achievement!!

I know it comes out of my mouth alot, it's a habit and chit chat as its easy to observe and I guess a bit protective as DD has always been very tall and therefore often people had certain expectations of her that were far above her chronological age and as she entered her teens she started getting comments and older boys commenting on her looks from about 11 as she was already well over 5ft6.

This, my DD is 8 yrs old ad having to wear 11-12 yo clothes due to her height. She looks older than she is so there's the expectation of behaviours and understanding that just isn't there. Shes always been the tallest in her age group, 3 yo clothes when she was 18 months and so on.

Next time I would say must be all the GMOS

I am pretty obsessed about my sons' heights. I guess I just see being tall as a good thing for whatever reason. We have a wall with pencil marks up it where I've marked their height every time they seem to have had a growth spurt.

I'm conscious not to bring it up to other parents though when their kids are shorter than mine. I get that not everyone cares about height as much as I do.

My almost 18 year old DD is under 5ft and this pisses me off, she is made to feel bad about her height, it's unacceptable, I try to counter it by saying she will have the pick of any man, ie short ones and tall ones, not sure what else to say to be honest.

I don't get why parents have to point out the blindingly obvious. We all know how tall our children are!

From experience, it can be really hard when your child is very much on the small side and all their friends tower above them when they say 'gosh look at the difference between them it's like little and large' or 'isn't she so small' and 'she must be the smallest in the class'
They have no idea what worries and tests are going on in the background. The same can be said for the very tall children. People can be so ignorant.

My partner is tall (I’m just above average for a woman) and find it’s short people that like to comment on my partner’s or DC’s height like they’re abnormal or something (both just average height for age at the moment). Personally think it’s really quite rude the way they say it.

Omg yes op! I had a friend and she had to compare EVERYTHING about our children even their height… ‘oh look Anna is catching Ben up, she’s about the same height now…’ (I would just shrug). Everything single thing was a bloody competition which was tedious enough but when she said that about their heights, I knew I had to ditch her. And I did.

I

I’m quite small and I suspect my children will be too I hate it to be honest because it’s away of saying look how better my children are compared to yours as being small is seen as a bad thing. I just smile and ignore though and hope they get the hint that they are being unkind.

It's an odd thing, as there's literally nothing that can be done about it; it's genetics.
I've always been tall, and was the height I am now at about 12. I'm taller than average now, but not ridiculously so like I was as a child. People would constantly comment on it when I was young.
DH was a late bloomer and says he was small to average as a kid. He grew to be 6ft, so his height as a child clearly bore no relation to how tall he would eventually be.
DS is probably about average height, but has a few tall friends who like to go on about how short he is (compared to them). It upsets him. I tell him it doesn't matter, and besides he will one day be as tall as them, if not taller.

I'm sorry I might be one of those parents that talks a lot about their children's height. My DC both do a competitive sport where height at all ages makes a difference, and ultimate adult height will b very important (think a basketball player or a jockey) The timing of puberty and of the growth spurt also matters now for how well they can do in their sport, and will impact future height and potentially how well they can do in their sport in the future! One of my DC is tall for age and one short. Currently. However, both may be late developers puberty wise. I just find it all so interesting, as before they got into this sport I never knew how important height was in sport, and I never could care less how tall or short anyone was!! I'd never heard the terms 'late developer' or 'early developer'. But now I've read loads about it it means I think about it quite a bit! As one of my DC is at an age where some kids are practically finishing puberty and others haven't started, its all so interesting and fascinating to watch all the kids growing at different rates, and the relevance to their sport is interesting (and hard at times) to see.

I'll try and mention height less to mum friends in case I piss them off in future! Never really thought it would b that annoying! Sorry!

I'm probably guilty of being a bit unjustiably proud of my son being tall. I'm 5ft2 and got a bit left behind when most of my friends got taller at age 11/12, I've always wished I was taller so I'm pleased that he's hopefully not going to have the same issue. I'm sure there'll be something else he'll be teased for and I'll help him deal with that when it comes to it, but it's just a slight reassurance to know his height is unlikely to be something he gets stick over.
I compare him to other kids in my head as a benchmark but I'd never say anything to other parents!

YANBU

My partner's daughter is particularly tall for her age and he acts like it's a massive achievement, he is 6'3" and his daughter's mum is 5'8", there was a high chance she was going to be tall. I'd say it's one of the only things we have no control over so what there is to be proud of I really don't know.