Early morning starts with children

[Sacmagique75]

When I was a child in the 90s I used to wake up super early. I’d quietly put the tv on and watch live and kicking for hours until my parents emerged, I did not dare open their closed bedroom door before they woke and came out. Which was never before 9am on a weekend. I certainly didn’t barge in, demanding breakfast at 5:30, crying and whinging until they relented. My two young children have always been early risers but now at the ages of 6 and 4 is it too much to ask that they quietly entertain themselves with tv for an hour rather than demand I get out of bed before 6:30?

If anything I think they’re not getting enough sleep! Certainly by their moods. Eldest didn’t fall asleep till almost 9pm last night! Younger one usually asleep by 7:30pm. So they tend to average about 10-11 hours sleep a night. Sometimes less. Perhaps that’s enough for them. But I often feel like I need ten hours myself which doesn’t leave any awake time while not parenting 🤷🏻‍♀️

I will, cake and eat it!🤣

YANBU. I can't remember ever going into my parents room early morning as a child, woke up, played quietly on my own, watched TV. Parents got up slowly at their own pace! I never did the early morning thing with my 2 either, would "get going" for the day around 8am when they were little but I was happy with them watching TV for an hour or so, a lot of parents don't want their kids doing that.

My sister gets up at the crack of dawn (or earlier) and plays with my niece loudly from about 6.30am. Niece can't entertain herself independently for even 5 minutes. Sister is broken as she's not a morning person. A friend does it too with her 5 year old, 5.30 most mornings. She's also quite broken. You can put measures in place to address it but for kids who've got used to constant 1:1 interaction and stimulation from an adult it's quite hard work.

Weird that you haven’t read the full thread

Anything before 6:30 is treated as “nighttime waking” in our house. We also have a tablet that dd can use and she knows how to use it now and doesn’t need any adult input apart from plugging it in when it needs charging. You need to teach them how to use the tv/iPad/etc if you want them to use it. At 3 my daughter can turn on the tv and play/pause a movie and we haven’t even shown her, she’s just seen us and worked it out. Then when they wake you tell them to put the tv on. Maybe leave out a small snack if necessary. But if they wake you and you get up and make them breakfast straightaway then why would they stop doing this??

Some of it is body clock. My nephew was a 5am riser, his sister not at all. My sister did nothing different with them. My 6yo has to be woken up but will stay up playing in her room late. We have never had a morning issue with her but that is luck and not our parenting. By the end of last term I was having to wake her up at 8 and then rushing for school.

My 3yo comes in to us whenever she wakes which can be between 6.30 and 7.15. She is a bad sleeper though when she’s a bit poorly so will come in during the night if she wakes. We try and make it boring but at the end of the day she’s little and wants her parents for a bit of comfort. We currently have early activities of a weekend so we couldn’t have a lie-in anyway.

Currently basking in a phase of 8am wake ups from the 1yo and a 10yo who will stay in bed as late as I'll let him.

It'll turn on a tuppence though and I'll be back to silly o'clock wake up and bad nights.....zzzz

Mine are 9 and 11. I had a frank conversation with them about a year ago about just getting up and going downstairs and watching TV, etc.

They'd stopped asking me to get up with them a while before then, but every weekend morning, they'd come in and ask permission to get up, then permission to watch TV/use tablets, etc.

So I said that as long as it was after 6 a.m., the blanket answer was yes. So leave us alone. They now do, though I was woken yesterday by them shouting at each other about something. I didn't go down, and they resolved it between themselves.

Make sure they know how to use the screens and leave out things like croissants for a simple breakfast.

Live n kickin didn’t start until about 9:30 though.

My five year old wakes my 8 year old up to play usually but not before 7 they go downstairs and play with a toy I’ve left out for them (I change it every day) I also leave a carton of apple juice each then at 8 they can wake me but usually my DH is awake and downstairs anyway.

We have a rule that DC is not allowed downstairs before 6.50. They don't really want to either at the moment because the heating comes on at 6.30 and it takes a while to warm the place up. They have been going down independently to watch TV/play video games since they were 4-ish and they still do it at 6yo. It's pretty handy but I generally get up at 7.30 or 8 the latest so they're not on their own too long. I do breakfast because my anxious brain would be worrying about choking otherwise, and DC don't usually ask for breakfast very early anyway so that works for us.

We went through a phase of the dreaded 4am wakeups but like a PP said we treated it as a night time thing and returned DC to bed every time. I think we have a fairly compliant child, but we have had a lot of discussions about letting mummy sleep so it has taken some effort. I'm secretly hoping to have another DC so it might be a different story in the future!

Mine are 6 and 8 and only get to play their tablets at weekends. I put them outside their door before I go to bed and they venture out to grab them then get straight back into bed!

I'm a light sleeper so I'm usually awake as soon as they are, but I get a couple of hours to drink a coffee and doom scroll before they start demanding breakfast.

Time for tough love. Silence and quiet is rewarded, or something is conditional on not demanding breakfast that early.

You'll reap the rewards of this approach not just in better sleep now, but in behaviour later.

My two (DS10 and DD8) have gone downstairs independently on waking for years. This thread made me think and I can't remember how it started but I am thankful! I do remember DH and I taking turns at weekends to get up with them when very little). DD has always been an early riser and is often awake at 05.30 regardless of bedtime. I think mine see it now as unlimited screen time 🙄 I do remember once flying out of bed when I heard the microwave ding as DD had decided to heat up some milk when she was scary little!

Recollections may vary …

I don’t ever remember misbehaving as a child, particularly, having tantrums, demanding my parents get up. But memories of our time as young children (especially before five) are really not likely to be accurate.

Ours is nearly 7, gets up usually comes to tell us going downstairs, gets breakfast and plays on tablet etc. One of us goes down around 8, puts telly on, gets coffee and come back up to bed. I feel like your 6 year old should be able to do the basics and manage, but maybe the 4 year old in tow makes it impossible or difficult. Ours seems to like the chill and space downstairs on his own! I would do whatever you can to make it happen, it's so wonderful having peaceful relaxing weekend mornings. Well deserved after years of early starts

From DS1 being about 7 (and DS2 4) they could go downstairs from 7 (DS1 is a lark and, now 10, still wakes by 6) and wake us for breakfast from 9. So, OP, take heart, I think you’re nearly at a turning point. I have made it very clear that I have views about anyone who wakes anyone else (illness etc aside) at the weekend before 9.

Frisby an ipad at them and go back sleep. I'm a lone parent and work on a Sunday usually so a Saturday morning is my only lie in day. There is no one I can share the wake ups with so I do what I can to get enough sleep.

Mine are 10, 7 and 4. Id say the last 18 months I can sleep in til 9/10ish on a weekend. They grab their tablets and chill, if they get hungry then my eldest is usually willing to forage for biscuits and juice til I wake up for them all 🤣

You're right! It was torture waiting for it to start!

On a Friday and Saturday night before I go to bed, I take a tray into my 6yo room with his iPad, a bottle of water and a tub of dry cereal (he will only eat it dry). Tends to buy me a lay in until about 8ish usually although very occasionally 9am. Even then I get to because im ready to get up, not because he wakes me.

I know I'm really lucky with this too but mine don't really bicker with each other at all. Definitely nothing to do with my parenting though. If they were breaking out into arguments every 5 minutes then my Saturday lie ins would be screwed!

@dollymixtured you sound lovely 😊

I suggested to my husband the other day that I invent a 'child remote' which I'm has a big colourful button and turns on CBeebies for this reason 😂

Not sure if it's Dragon's den worthy but I'd buy it 😂

Mine are 5 and 7. They have gro clocks set to 7 and (mostly) obey those. For at least the past year they are both capable of getting up and switching on the tv (to kids Netflix).

They do eventually come and whine for food, but usually it’s past 8, so I’m not complaining. They will sometimes ask if they can have a juice carton and a cereal bar or a banana and I always say yes in the hope I will get more time in bed

It's perfectly possible. I originally thought kids all woke up early and were loud - I had tiny relatives who would come bounding in to me at 5am so their parents could have a break when I stayed over. It's one of the things that really put me off having kids. Then I stayed with friends with kids of similar age and their house was silent until 8am. They had groclocks!

So I got one for DD when we had her - introduced it at 18 months but I'd always treated anything before 7am as a 'night feed' before that anyway. She pretty quickly grasped that until the sun came up she had to be quiet and either go back to sleep, look at a book or play quietly. Whilst she was still in her cot I'd leave a board book or a small toy for her to find in the morning. Now she's 7yo she just reads or plays in her room until the sun lights up (7.45 or 8am at weekends).

But you do need to be consistent and have clear boundaries about what is and isn't acceptable.