Early morning starts with children

[Sacmagique75]

When I was a child in the 90s I used to wake up super early. I’d quietly put the tv on and watch live and kicking for hours until my parents emerged, I did not dare open their closed bedroom door before they woke and came out. Which was never before 9am on a weekend. I certainly didn’t barge in, demanding breakfast at 5:30, crying and whinging until they relented. My two young children have always been early risers but now at the ages of 6 and 4 is it too much to ask that they quietly entertain themselves with tv for an hour rather than demand I get out of bed before 6:30?

But this just doesn't happen. Yes, I was scared of my Mum as a kid in the 80s but I parent totally differently to how she did.

Mine knows not to disturb us until her groclock sun comes up and understands what the exceptions are - needing the loo (only bathroom on this level is our en suite) or illness/bad dream. If she needs the loo she trots in with a 'just doing a wee' and a cheerful wave, if she's ill she'll call us. Same for if she has a nightmare.

The point is your kid is confident you'll respond to them.

I don't think we ever really did consequences but I think it helped we introduced the groclock at 18mo and so it just extended on from the differentiating 'night feeds' approach. Mine BF until 3.5 years but if she ever woke before about 6.30am I'd BF in her room then tuck her back into her cot, kept the lights down low, didn't chat but did tell her what I was doing. Whereas later than that I'd bring her into our bed to BF. So we introduced the groclock at 7am so pretty much the same time she was used to, and gradually moved it until it didn't light up until 7.45am, and then 8am at weekends.

So have always kept interaction low at night, dealt with any needs, and made
the daytime lots of fun to contrast.

The little book that comes with the groclock is helpful - we talked about us all needing sleep to be happy and to be able to do things like drive the car. By 4 they should be able to understand this. We also helped her with a 'strategy' for ideas to do if she woke up before the sun - quiet toys nearby, book to read.

The thing is to be totally consistent - DD has never ever slept in our bed for instance, so it's never occurred to her to attempt to get into it with us.

Also be realistic. 8am is realistic for weekends, but as I need at least 8 hours sleep I still make sure I'm in bed before 11pm. I'm not going to get my pre-child 9 or 10am lie in any more! You can do different times for weekdays and weekends but not dramatically different as that's not fair - we do half an hour later at weekends.

@Sacmagique75 I don't understand why people think this is so funny?

I did similar to others with all three of mine, and at weekends for DSS - we had a Gro Clock (and then latterly a normal clock with the specific time marked on it) and they knew they could get up and play before the clock 'woke up' but must stay in their rooms. They could then come and get us, and when older (probably 6 and 4 actually) they could go down and get some breakfast, which we'd leave out for them.

Easy for me to say now I guess, but a 530 waking morning just wouldn't be happening. Small children would be put back to bed or come in with us if unwell.

That’s impressive!

My daughter is 4, 5 in May she just comes in to my room gets her IPad I get her a drink and a mini breakfast snack and she just goes back in her room sometimes for like another 2 hours it’s heaven, kids learn from you so if you want them to do these things just make it the norm from the off, if you get up and start your day at 4am because your child demands it then I’m afraid that’s what you’ll be doing for the foreseeable 🤷🏼‍♀️

We never had to get up at stupid o clock for our children. They just watched TV and played until about 8 am . If hungry they had a croissant or brioche.
Granddaughter is the same .When she stays overnight she might come into bed about 7 but I put iplayer on and she will be occupied for a good hour …Good old Mr Tumble😊

I take dry Cheerios in a soup mug and a banana upstair the night before. Then when Mr 3 comes in at 6.30 he sits and eats those in-between us watching Netflix while I snooze. We upgraded to a super king size bed to facilitate this. If he wants milk on his cereal he can wait til 7.30 at the earliest 😂

My kids are 8 and 5 and DH and I are NOT morning people. We get up at 7am all week but 9am is the absolute earliest we'll consider getting up at the weekends, unless we had some kind of special outing planned!

Our two get up between 7-8am at weekends and play together for 2hrs or so without TV. Sometimes there's a fight over a toy or something and I have to get up and sort that out, but usually it's okay. Sometimes DS5 wants to cuddle in bed instead and I let him watch Netflix on my phone or iPad at a low volume while cuddled up to me and I can doze back off.

If anyone wakes up before 7am at the weekend I tell them to go back to bed. If they've had a very late night for some reason, I'll even tell them to go back for more sleep after 7am - I said this to my 8 year old at 7.30am today and he went to sleep again until 9ish.

We all eat breakfast late at weekends - 10 or 11am. Generally the kids are happy to wait until then.

We trained them by telling them but also doing a snack plate in the fridge which they could get and eat watching TV quietly. Now they are a just turned teenager and a near teenager (15mth apart) and we are lucky if they get up at all oh they maybe awake early at the weekend but actually moving out of their pits is another matter and during the week I have to ask them to get up multiple times in a 30min stint before they will actually move snd get ready for school

At least they're only kids, unlike chickens, they'll eventually grow into the even more infuriating habit of 'sleeping too much'.

Not wanting to be unfair on chickens here, as there are many other species inc domestic, wild, farmed and some humans that can be very 'disturbing' too; sleep or otherwise.

My early riser wasn’t allowed out of his room until the first number on the digital clock was 7! If bickering was likely I think I’d tell one to be in one room, one in another. I wouldn’t have been able to put up with 5.30am, so I guess it was just a boundary I put in place.

I did this with my son aged 4/5, left him a box of variety type cereal to snack on & showed him how to watch tv & put a dvd on, he had a tv in his room. It took a bit of getting used to & wasnt always successful, but over time it worked. From age 6 he'd very rarely wake us up! I know its frowned upon in this age of helicopter parenting, but like you said my mum did it with me in the 80s and 90s. He's 11 now and very independent.

I used to get up with them, take them to the lounge, give them a drink and settle them in front of the TV, then go back to bed.

Now (age 11 and 8), they can do that themselves :) but as we have a dog, I often still go through to the kitchen with them, get their drinks, let dog out etc... then go back to bed. It takes all of 5 minutes!

Just get up with them OP, settle them, then go back to bed. Doesn't take much effort!!

This is why we have a tv in our bedroom. They get in in the middle of our bed, put CBeebies on, and we go back to sleep

My eldest quickly learned that waking me early on a non-school day would mean boring chores until 9am but quietly playing her room until I woke would mean her day started with cuddles and whatever nonsense she could cook up.

I'm an early riser anyway so generally 8am is a massive lie in, but it set us up for a more civilised way of starting our days off than other families we know.

Youngest could sleep through armageddon and I'm turfing her out of bed on the weekend before the morning runs out.

@mrsmarmalade12

omg why would u be getting up at 4.30am-5.30am?! Especially on a weekend!

its practically the middle of the night !

send them back to their beds! And deffo no breakfast at that time

My eldest is 7. He wakes at 5am at the latest everyday. When he was 5 (and stopped waking up in tears) we taught him to go downstairs and play with toys or put the TV on. His, at the time, 2yo sister would sleep until 7.30/8 and I'd get up when she did..when she turned 3.5 I allowed her to go downstairs with her brother (then 6) on the odd occasion she woke early.

I then taught eldest to make breakfast. We have firm boundaries around what is and isn't breakfast food and what foods and drink they can help themselves to. And the eldest is a great stickler for rules! They also know they can wake DH and I for any reason at all, though they have good knowledge on what is and isn't allowed and they get on well. They're now just turned 7&4. I don't sleep deeply once they're awake (them getting out of bed wakes me!) And can hear if there's a disagreement etc.

I think if you know your kids and your house it's fine - I wouldn't let them downstairs alone in another friends house etc.

I needed to do it for my sanity, I can't cope with being up by 5am!

Our grow clock fell out of use because DS (5yo) kept resetting the time so alarm was pointless :-/

Mine got put back to bed before 7am and by 9 & 6 they could come down after 7am and entertain themselves. I’ve always been baffled by mums who say dc wake at 5.30am and are up for the day. I never enabled that but I’m not a morning person!

@InstaJam we moved the gro clock to the top of dd1’s wardrobe so she couldn’t change it 😆

YANBU I don’t put up with it from mine, they’re 4 and 7 and know not to come into our bedroom until at least 9am on a weekend.

My son only learnt to do this over the past year, he's 8.

Now on a weekend I put a couple of those single wrapped pain au chocolates next to his bed with his tablet and headphones and when he wakes he just stays in bed watching Netflix.

My 6 year old has only just started sleeping through so any time she wakes after 6am I'll take after a full nights sleep

Do people really let their 4 year olds climb down stairs and make breakfast alone? I can’t imagine allowing my 4 year old to do that whilst I was in bed.

I’d worry too much about choking, tripping, etc? I’d rather just suck up getting up at 6am.

Of course, not everyone infantalises their children.

A quick google shows by 5 children should be more than able to make themselves a basic breakfast, this is normal. So 4 isn’t abnormal for collecting something to eat.

OP, I hear ya. Not only was I completely content to not wake my parents on the weekend, but I would actively be as possible to avoid the possibility of them coming downstairs at all. The later they slept, the better IMO. As soon as they appeared it would be: “that telly is going off” and I’d be dressed and out the door, on my way to some mundane weekend activity.

I bloody loved Live and Kicking!!