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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Well I totally messed that up

165 replies

BlackenedDog · 21/01/2023 23:37

met DPs mum for the first time today. It could not have gone worse.

First, I walked dog shit onto her carpet.

Secondly - she was showing me around her bungalow and telling me she has only just moved in and it all needs decorating as the previous tenants had god awful taste. She used the hallway as an example. I agreed with her that it was awful, she then showed me her bathroom - I said it was even worse than the hallway. She’d just decorated the bathroom.

Thirdly, I knocked a glass off the kitchen side (trying to be helpful and take the mugs away), she was NOT happy at all, apparently she’d had those glasses for years.

Fourthly, I somehow damaged the flush on the toilet. I pressed it and it wouldn’t stop flushing. DP had to take the top off and mess with it.

To make me feel better, DP told me she didn’t like his ex “either” so not to worry.

Mortified and feel like calling time on the whole thing. I can never face her again.

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 22/01/2023 13:32

WineDup · 22/01/2023 00:47

I presume they mean in their shoes rather than as a “thanks for hosting” present

Show quote history

PMSL!!! 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

A thanks for hosting present!! 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩

My sides hurt from laughing!!! 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Original poster
BlackenedDog · 22/01/2023 13:33

i made the mistake of letting my kids watch Drop Dead Fred years ago, next time they were at my mothers they started rubbing their feet on the carpet singing “yacky yacky dog poo! All on here, all on there! Yacky smelly dog poo!”

Ive never seen my mother move so fast, she thought they actually had dog poo on their feet 😂😂

OP posts:
Seryse · 22/01/2023 13:34

felulageller · 22/01/2023 13:28

If someone walked dog poo into my carpet I'd expect them to replace the carpet. Or I'd never forgive them and certainly would never let them in my house alone.

How could you not notice this?

It was an accident, she didn't do it intentionally. Replacing a while carpet is a bit much... clean it, of course, but replace a whole carpet? That's unreasonable.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 22/01/2023 13:35

How long have you been together?

WetBandits · 22/01/2023 13:36

BlackenedDog · 22/01/2023 13:33

i made the mistake of letting my kids watch Drop Dead Fred years ago, next time they were at my mothers they started rubbing their feet on the carpet singing “yacky yacky dog poo! All on here, all on there! Yacky smelly dog poo!”

Ive never seen my mother move so fast, she thought they actually had dog poo on their feet 😂😂

Hahahahaha 😂

LookItsMeAgain · 22/01/2023 13:39

If your partner doesn't see the funny side of things, then I would be the one to call it quits @BlackenedDog . Nothing that you said/did was outside of the realms of an accident.

When you mentioned the bathroom was redone, did she replace the fixtures and fittings or just slap a bit of paint on the walls? If the bathroom suite was replaced, then she got a dodgy cistern with her new loo and that should be fixed.

Happinessandrainbows · 22/01/2023 13:43

😂😂😂

viques · 22/01/2023 13:44

Oh dear. Just make sure that when you invite her round to yours you tell her you are a shoes off at the door house…

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 22/01/2023 13:44

BlackenedDog · 22/01/2023 11:24

Well I got a text back from him saying he can’t make lunch as he needs to go and fix his mothers toilet. I did snap I’m afraid and told him the flush was clearly dodgy and it would have happened to anyone that tried to flush it!! He replied saying “I never said it was your fault.” But he’s clearly being cold with me now so fuck him! So annoyed

How could you not reply with "fuck you and your mum's toilet"?

If you did think he was a keeper, I think I would be offering to pay for a carpet cleaner for the hall. He doesn't sound like a keeper though.

Who the fuck has cream carpets in their hallway without having a door mat anyway?

Runningoncoffeealone · 22/01/2023 13:48

When DW met my Mum for the first time, she blocked her toilet with a giant poo! She then accidentally put sugar in her cup of tea and, on another occassion as Mum was leaving, she went to help her get into the taxi (was one of those bigger ones with the sliding doors) and went to support her back but accidentally grabbed her bum instead.

One year later, Mum was in hospital after an emergency operation. I was by her side as she opened her eyes and the first thing she did was ask where DW was😅

I'm sure things will be fine OP! 🙂

Paulisexcluded · 22/01/2023 13:58

Thanks for sharing the story, it made me smile. Better luck for the next visit!

thisplaceisweird · 22/01/2023 13:59

I agreed with her that it was awful, she then showed me her bathroom - I said it was even worse than the hallway. She’d just decorated the bathroom.

NEVER agree with someone that their house looks terrible. It's one of those they're allowed to say it but you're not kind of things.

GruzViews · 22/01/2023 14:00

felulageller · 22/01/2023 13:28

If someone walked dog poo into my carpet I'd expect them to replace the carpet. Or I'd never forgive them and certainly would never let them in my house alone.

How could you not notice this?

🤣 Replace the carpet? Tad dramatic 👸

Saz12 · 22/01/2023 14:08

I had a huge disaster when meeting my (now) MIL for first time. They were lovely about it as was (now) DH.
Someone who falls out with you because their mother didn’t like you (due to some series of accidents!) isn’t worth wasting time on. And the mother needs to learn to grit her teeth and smile for her DS’s own sake!

BruceAndNosh · 22/01/2023 14:13

I used to have a job where 99% of my clients had just moved into a new house.
I soon learned to never comment on the previous owner's ghastly taste after a similar faux pas

NotAnotherBathBomb · 22/01/2023 14:14

I said it was even worse than the hallway. She’d just decorated the bathroom.

I'm sorry, this really made me laugh.

If it makes you feel any better, I once told a good friend that our mutual friend (my then flatmate) had put these cushions on the sofa, and they were really tacky and I described them. Friend then said that she'd made those cushions for her as a present Blush

To be fair though, friend agreed and said she'd made them to mutual friend's taste, which is fair enough Grin

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 22/01/2023 14:22

felulageller · 22/01/2023 13:28

If someone walked dog poo into my carpet I'd expect them to replace the carpet. Or I'd never forgive them and certainly would never let them in my house alone.

How could you not notice this?

I don't imagine you get any visitors so luckily it isn't a problem.

NancyPickford · 22/01/2023 14:24

On my first meeting with my then partner's mother I pulled the wash-hand basin off the wall in the guest bathroom.

spiderlight · 22/01/2023 14:26

Oh OP - you poor thing!! That sounds like an episode from a sitcom!

The first time I met my MIL, we were all getting ready to take our dog for a walk. The dog had a harness that she had to step into and then you pulled it up, which had become known as her 'knickers'. I was sure that the dog was in the front room and MIL was in the loo. I walked into the room with the harness, saying 'Right then, missus - let's get your knickers on so we can go out!' and was met with no dog, but a very bemused MIL, who replied 'Um...I've got some on already, thanks...' 😳

LizzieVereker · 22/01/2023 14:31

I think your boyfriend and his Mum are a bit to blame here. If this happened in my house I wouldn’t be delighted but I’d try really hard to diffuse the tension. I wouldn’t want the “perpetrator” to feel uncomfortable, particularly if it was the first time I’d met my DS’s new girlfriend. It doesn’t sound like they did much to make you feel less awkward.

skyeisthelimit · 22/01/2023 14:34

I presume that you have been together for a while if you refer to him as DP and he's not someone that you have just been seeing for a couple of months?

Either way, this may be the end of the relationship.

It obviously wasn't a good impression, but a lot of people would laugh off the whole thing.

My XMIL never liked any of her son's partners, some women are just like that.

Mylaferret · 22/01/2023 14:34

He sounds like a right bore. Get rid of him!

Alconleigh · 22/01/2023 14:38

Calphurnia88 · 22/01/2023 08:51

This reminds me of the time I accidentally insulted my FIL by complimenting his costume for a fancy dress party (he immediately informed me that the party he was attending was not fancy dress).

It must have been about 5 years ago an I'm still cringing now!

Please can we have more information on the outfit that led to this misapprehension?

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 22/01/2023 14:41

I wouldn't blame you for the toilet flush. They don't last forever and this probably wasn't the first time it had been dodgy.

Cream carpet? Yep, shoes off. It's polite.

The first time I met DS's new GF we walked round the garden and down a bank at the bottom. There is (was!) a sapling there that we used to hold to steady ourselves on the slope. She grabbed it, pulled, and broke it off! I know she was mortified and of course it wasn't on purpose. I'm sure your new MIL will forgive you, OP xx

Puckthemagicdragon · 22/01/2023 14:46

Was it from her dog? Why didn't she clean it up?