Name change because this is embarrassing and scary.
My DH and I had a disagreement over who was sleeping on sofa bed- it should be my turn tonight but he wanted to stay up late and game. I said I would go upstairs but also wanted to keep my expected day of Sunday for the nice bed. We no longer share a bed atm because We both snore horribly and I am a terrible light sleeper. Throw a 1yo into mix who sometimes likes to wake in night or early hours and it works best for everyone to do what we need to get a good night's sleep. Anyway when I said well I guess but I want to keep Sunday night too as it isn't me who wants to stay up late and change the pattern of who is going where he got really cross. He was on his way up to feed the baby and our disagreement carried from living room into kitchen. He was pouring milk into the bottle and I broke off what I was saying to point out he had poured too much as we are trying to wean baby off of this night bottle by reducing milk amount slowly. He then really angrily tipped it down sink instead of back into milk carton which I thought was wasteful- we aren't exactly flush with cash atm. He then had tipped too much out so he stomped back to fridge got milk out, slopped more into bottle spilling everywhere. The disagreement was still continuing and I said I thought he was being unreasonable. He then sloshed milk out of the plastic carton towards me- it splashed all over the floor, nearly caught the washing I have hanging up drying and went a bit on my work laptop case. He also made a horrible comment about my mental health- saying it was already shit, in response to me reminding him why we weren't just sharing a bed because of snoring and my MH goes down pan quickly on little sleep.
I was so gobsmacked by what he'd done. I said nothing. He got the mop straight out and started clearing it up and said nothing to me. He went to feed baby and I just went to bedroom whilst he did that. I'm really upset- by the mental health comment but also by the milk throwing. It was meant for me. It was a total moment of loss of control of his anger. This is first time he's done something this intimidating but isn't first time he's just lost his temper in an argument- usually it's verbally and he has previously told me to fuck off and called me a bitch. Those incidents have probably happened 4 or 5 times- a few times in front of our eldest. We've been married nearly 6 years and together for 9 for context.
I'm lying here feeling sick. I don't know if I'm overreacting but I know that what just happened isn't right and that serious domestic violence doesn't always start with significant incidents initially it can start with small things like this. I now can't stop thinking about that and my anxiety is sky high worried he might still be angry and come in the room and strangle me or something and then what will happen to my kids. This is absolutely not rational but anxiety isn't and I'm trying to talk myself down. Aibu to be so upset by this incident?