DP and I have been seeing each other again after 5/6 months apart and I'm really enjoying my time with him.
We had an argument today about what has previously happened between us. We almost ended because of this argument. It got heated and I got emotional and raised my voice, which I shouldn't have.
Long story short:
I got pregnant after the relationship was essentially over. We weren't officially together anymore and hadn't been for just under two weeks but were still seeing each other every day, having sex, going on dates etc.
I told him the news over the phone. Less than 24hrs after finding out he came round and told me he was abandoning and the baby if I kept it, that was it, no conversation. He didn't ask me if I was okay.
I had said I needed to find out how far along I was before I made a decision. I never said I had any intention to keep the baby.
I told him to go to hell and told him to leave, I was probably shouting. I also said I was going to call him mum, so he called her first.
His family blocked me on everything. I didn't hear anything for a month. He resurfaces and asks if I've kept it or not. Says that he does want to be involved and did all along but he wanted me to feel like I had no choice but to terminate. I told him to fuck off.
I was mentally through the floor. There was a lot of swearing and "you're a piece of shit" types texts from me.
I miscarried and then got a severe infection following. All very scary and messy. We weren't in contact at this point, I felt so alone.
His perspective:
He doesn't feel that what he did was selfish. He said he did care about me in the situation, that he loved me.
He did it because he had an inkling I'd keep the baby, he says he still thinks that was my intention. He said that he had to weigh up between doing a horrible thing or having a baby ruin our lives and our families life. He said he had to take an extreme measure.
He says that guys do this all the time and say things like "I won't have anything to do with that baby" so he's not in a minority and it's not some crazy, left field thing that he's done.
I could well be overreacting to the situation. I would like the perspective of outsiders and I'm prepared to get flamed. Should I accept his reasons and let it lie?
I have forgiven him. It's important for me in all my relationships in life to forgive and not hold onto things. But it still hurts.