Im leaving him what do I take?

[Bestlife]

Please help!
I'm leaving my partner, i have been planning for weeks. He going away for work next month. What should I be taking.
I have 2 children, 1 is his. I have a place set up staying with a friend.
It cant all be in 1 go, it has to slowly (think ring doorbell, cctv) so school bags, work bag etc.
Im not leaving the country but I need take things that can help us till he leaves (its my home, NO making him go isn't an option till we are gone)
thank you

Bank account details, passports, birth certificates/ID, any important paperwork

Good luck, well done for making this decision!

I would echo pp and take paper work first. Particularly passports and birth certificates. Start small but important.

Take photos and any things that are precious to you, things that can’t be replaced.

You could move his stuff into storage. Turn off the wifi and tell him it's faulty?

Put stuff in bin bags in wheelie bin...then transfer to car out of sight of cctv

Wear lots of layers of clothing....easy in this cold snap

Stuff things inside your fat winter coats

Don’t be daft, if it’s your house and you’re not married, just bag up his possessions and take those to your friend. Then change the locks.

Paperwork and anything sentimental; most things can be replaced if they really need to be.

I was also going to say fill the wheelie bin and load car out of view of cctv.
But the faulty WiFi is a good idea.

In order (small loads allowing)

While he's still in the house:

Start making copies of bills, banks statements, mortgage, pension statements etc and email them to yourself. Photos on your phone are better than nothing.

1. First night essentials. PJs, toothbrushes, toiletries, a loved book each for bedtimes, stash of undies. Buy "spares" if you can (second hand?) then sneak them out.
2. Clothes and some toys that won't be missed for the kids. See second sentence above.
3. The same for you.

After he's left but before you do:

1. Favourite toys and specific clothes/items that are essential (school coats/shoes etc) or will make the kidsand yourself feel safe and routed.
2. Your treasured possessions, jewelery as above.
3. Lastly - Important documents in hard copy. Passports, birth certs, medical records, baby photos etc. It may be worth finding these and putting them somewhere together before this stage but where they can be found if DH asks questions.

Good luck. You can do it.

Yes I agree with that if you're not married.

Is he likely to get aggressive?

Sounds like you’re worried for your safety. You need to speak to a domestic abuse charity and the police before you leave.

Paperwork, money, photos, and things that can't be replaced. Passports, birth certificates, ID, kids' medical records if to hand, medication.

Then clothes, kids first and then yours. Take bigger sizes if you have them, too. Bit by bit, so he doesn't notice. A change of shoes for each of you too.

If you can safely do so, make a grab bag of essentials (cash, change of clothes, medication) in case you have to do a runner.

One item at a time in a handbag would be passible, the same as in kids' backpacks, etc.

Faulty WiFi great idea.
it's for easier if we go until it's safe to come back.
Im probably going to need a non molestation order or restraining order before we return.

these are in process but we need to leave before their served/issued. its

this

if you leave your house - theres no way he will go?! he will claim squatters rights and good luck getting your house back!

just bag his stuff up when hes gone, change the locks and its done.

madness anyone leaving their own home!!

also making him go is an option - called the police, get an injunction and be strong

Will he actually leave your property though?
Is he likely to damage it out of spite?

This.
Your jewellery too. You can wear it out then leave it in the car. Same with kids shoes. Take them off in the car. Let kid take a toy to play with in the car, leave it there.

You'll be amazed what you can free/cheap on fb marketplace.

My hovel of a car was very handy when I left. I had allsorts in there!

You can do it! ❤

I think you ha e to assume you won't be going back - or at least he won't leave any of your stuff for you to go back to. So take anything of sentimental value.

You said CCTV, is this just outside? Be careful he hasn't hidden cameras inside too especially in the bedrooms if he is likely to get nasty. Look out for tracking on your phone too.

Depending on the time you have is it worth speaking to a solicitor or the police as to whether they can help you secure the property when he leaves for work so that you are safe at hone at that point? Can you seek a non - mol now? It would be safer than risking him catching you I suspect.

Speak to the kids school. They might be able to help you store stuff, not send stuff home with the kids for a few days etc so they have more space in backpacks.

Can you have an overnight visit to someone beforehand and not bring everything back?

Call police or at least Womens aid to help you

There is no such thing as squatters’ rights so you can immediately discount that.

I knowing easy for me to say but I would worry about moving out, I doubt he'll just leave quietly. My friend rented a small storage unit for 1 month and moved his stuff there. Texted (now) ex the details and date it had to be cleared by....... it meant there was no legitimate reason for him to go to her house and as soon as he did she called the police.