Cosmetic surgery DOES affect others

[EmmaDilemma5]

I'm sick of reading people who defend others cosmetic surgery/procedures with;

"it's their body, they can do as they please"

"Each to their own"

"If it makes them feel happier then what's the harm?"

The harm is, that it sets a ridiculous standard that most (usually young women) can't meet naturally and therefore feel pressured to undergo changes to their body to look "good".

It's not a personal decision, because collectively, it's impacting society norms and pressures on people.

I'm not talking about those that truly help people with abnormally different features. I totally get why someone with ears that grow out at 90° may want them pinned back. Or someone with a huge nose may want to reduce it to a more "normal" size. I still hope they'd feel fine in their own skin but get why the majority of people may struggle with largely unusual features.

But I am actually angry sometimes at those that "enhance" normal looks. Lip fillers, tattoo makeup on eyebrows, lips, boob jobs. It seems to me that the majority of women who have these procedures have very normal features before having them and it's just really sad that they feel they need to undergo them to feel ok.

Lip fillers are the worst for me. It's affordable and easy to arrange. I fear my daughter will grow up thinking her lips aren't big enough (if her parents' are anything to go by anyway) because every other person seems to have massive lips and to look beautiful she'll need to pump her face with crap.

When do we say, enough is enough, we don't want the next generation living like this?!

My friend really wants a nose job but she has a daughter & is scared of what that message says to her.

By the time your daughter grows up, the big lips fade will probably be long over. Just as eyebrow fashions and hairstyles change. I predict a return to a more natural look soon, as a backlash to the current "fake everything" look

It'd be nice, but there's money to be made and so that pressure will keep up, it's such a huge industry now. There's definitely peer pressure when all your friends have had botox, I feel it. YANBU

I also think what happens when beauty trends change as they invariably do. The Kardashian's have lost weight & their bums aren't so big. Thin eyebrows are meant to be coming back.

A google says the beauty industry is worth 26.7 billion in the UK in 2022

If someone has been brought up to have a good self esteem they won’t go down the “trout pout” road, though?

I’m in my late twenties and have zero desire to get work done to my face/body. But I do get tattooed and take pride in my appearance in regards to makeup, hair, nails, etc.

I personally don’t really have an issue with it. I find your statement quite patronising to be honest; it implies all younger women are gullible and do things to copy others. I’m sure in the case of some it is, but definitely not all.

It depends on why she wants it.
A friend of mine had rhinoplasty, however her nose was absolutely huge to be fair. Her daughter's fortunately had their father's normal sized one, so having theirs done never entered their heads, particularly as they understood their mother's reasons for having the procedure.
Plus I think seeing their mother's swollen black eyes, bruising and pain immediately afterwards helped to put them off.

People who get something changed on their face end up giving Uncanny Valley vibes. I feel pity for them though.

I don’t think personal choice should be taken away from people.
It’s like saying we should stop selling meat because it’s causing climate change which negatively affects all of us

The thing is good tweak you shouldn't notice it should be natural just give you a natural radiance. Someone at work was calling someone a botoxed bitch 🤣🤣. I told her I'm also a botoxed bitch and she said no you're not. I've also had lumieyes and profilo, also a bit of nose to mouth line fillers and 0.5 ml in my upper lip to create a Cupid's bow. My family who hate any kind of cosmetic stuff say how well rested I look.

I've had an extensive tummy tuck from losing weight I don't have to wear long tops to cover my fupa or lift it up to wash. I don't give a shit what other people think. I don't shout about it. I don't wear hair extensions or massive amounts of makeup false eyelashes or nail extensions .People say I look fresh and that's the look I'm aiming for just fresh. It makes me feel good and in a weird way I find it relaxing.

@Chibbers it's not a tiny nose but actually I think it suits her face in that Angelica Houston way. Her dd looks very similar, although I think seeing her daughter has made her hate it less if that makes sense.

I don't like the authoritarian stance or bitchy crap about other peoples faces. I like making my own decisions.

And for the record that’s not me saying that beauty standards aren’t ridiculous, I’m just saying that taking away personal freedoms isn’t the answer.

It’s so obvious when people have had work done. I think it looks ridiculous and cheap. That and the plastered on make up and drawn on eyebrows. I will make sure my daughter values her natural look and doesn’t feel the need for anything like that.

I know teenage girls through work & they are under so much pressure. Some think it's wrong they have a line on their face, i feel sooty for them & glad I grew up without that pressure.

Botox is fantastic, don't knock it till you've tried it.

Botox and fillers can look natural if it’s well done. If it looks ridiculous and cheap, then what’s to worry about? Why feel under pressure to have something done which looks ridiculous?

We could at least not normalise it. Stop advertising boob jobs in Turkey on the London Underground, for example.

OP where do you stand on orthodontics. I know people who have had slightly misaligned teeth or a small gap got the braces (no medical need and hardly noticeable) and they remind me a little of false teeth. This seems to be a form of beauty enhancement that is socially acceptable.

I just don't think there is anything you can do but you are right it could create pressure on the rest of us to do X or Y but as others have said so does hair dye or makes up etc ...

Botox and fillers can look natural if it’s well done.

up to a point though, a depends on the age of the person!

I agree that these horrible practices need to be banned. As well as distorting impressionable people's sense of what's normal and healthy, when they go wrong, they are costly for the NHS to put right.

Are you still talking about botox, fillers and eyebrows? What will the NHS do if you don't like them?

I think it's based in insecurity as much as anything. My mother would not set foot outside the house without a full face. She was once staying with me and utterly horrified that I would consider a 5 minute dash to the shop for milk without applying makeup.

Her mother, an objective beauty (I've seen pictures) was after a certain point utterly unbothered by her looks and laughed when she burned her eyebrows off lighting the gas. She could spend half an hour adjusting her hat, but accepted aging. Loss of mobility etc upset her much more, whereas Mum didn't cope well when she could no longer "compete" with those who had the glow of youth (sadly, that included me)

I've always loved makeup, it was and still is great fun, but it doesn't define my worth as all these procedures that rarely make anyone look better shouldn't, IMO. Unlike slap they can't just be washed off and I think are thus fundamentally different.

Unfortunately the discussion around this often has elements that should be shut down. While some people genuinely want to discuss the societal issues, their voices are often drowned out by the spiteful chorus of 'they look vile/ridiculous/alien' and other insults levelled at women by women.
Or, as in the OP, blaming women for the unrealistic beauty standards expected of women. As though it were women that decided that huge breasts on tiny bodies, plumped lips etc were sexually desirable must haves.
All the spitefulness and anger just serves as a smokescreen for the real issues, but it seems impossible to have a discussion about them without it. So shutting it down with a 'its my body' often seems the only option for women being attacked for their choices.

I don’t think you are entirely wrong. But it’s not that simple. I have an 18 year old and have always regularly had her friends over. Non are sucked in this ‘beauty standard’.

I have a mid teen niece and her and her friends never express admiration of a particular cosmetic surgery beauty standard. My experience is that girls who are not quite this age do not like this look.

It’s not new either. Beauty standards always exist throughout history. But it appears people only kick up a fuss if they don’t like the look. The pressure on women to meet a beauty standard has always been there.

Look at how it’s much harder for women who are not white to fit the beauty standards and hasn’t been for years. Does that bother you?

Everything we do, could influence everyone else. From what we wear, what we say, if we dye our hair, if we don’t dye out hair, if we wear make up, if we don’t and so on and so forth. But oddly people only wear expect women to make choices about their own bodies, based on the impact of other people.

If I do my hair and make up everyday and dress super smart in fairly expensive dresses to work, should I not because other women may feel bad that they chose to not wear make up, dress for comfort and just tie their hair back? Am I shaming people for not presenting like me? And what about the fact that, as a mixed race woman, I feel I need to put more effort into my appearance than my white counterparts?

If I decide change my hair to blonde, would it make other women with ginger hair feel they must change theirs? So I should not?

If I wear my hair down, would it make other women feel they need to have extensions so their hair is as thick as mine?

Where does this thinking end? I don’t think trying to ban women from making choices about their own bodies, is ever the answer.

People don't have gaps in their eyebrows, do they? Do men do this?